it was a great love (one for the ages) / DISCONTINUED

Starting Over

Addison lies on the thin mattress in the on-call room, watching the faint lights of passing cars dance over the ceiling. Sleep didn't come easy for her but after a quick nap, she was feeling lighter. She takes out her pager, finds Meredith's name, and sends her a private message.

9:41 pm
On-call room 3
Dr. A Shepherd

16 blocks away, Meredith sits at a red light, on her way back to the hospital. Her pager buzzes, and she picks it up. Her heart skips a beat when she sees who the page was from. That, and, the guy behind her honking the horn. Meredith is temporarily blinded by the bright green stoplight and scrambles to start driving before she pisses off more people.

Addison wasn't sure what caused her to send the page. Perhaps the nap gave her an extra boost of bravery. Or maybe it was just her tired brain. But she couldn't stop feeling that giddy excitement like a kid on Christmas day. Her heart raced as she waited for Meredith to come through the door.

Meredith speed walks through Seattle Grace, her heart racing and shoes clomping against the linoleum floor with her quick footsteps. She finds on-call room 3, and bursts through the door. She is surprised when she sees Addison look up at her from the bottom bunk of the bed.

"What's wrong?" Meredith said, breathless.
Addison shrugs nonchalantly.
"Nothing," is all she says.
Meredith narrows her eyebrows.
"Then... why did you page me?"

Okay, Addy. This is the moment. There's no backing out now. Addison takes a deep breath.
"I wanted to know if you'd like to go out for a drink."
She sees about 4 different emotions pass over Meredith's face until it just narrowed down to confusion.
"You... want to have a drink? With me?"
Addison nods. "Yes. Maybe you can show me any good bars around here?"

Meredith's stomach feels light and fluttery.
"Uh... sure."
Addison smiles at her, genuinely smiles at her. Meredith smiles back, She wondered if this was a scheme to get back at her for sleeping with Addison's husband. No, it can't be. Addison stood up for her in front of Julie earlier. Only one way to know for sure.

"Well," Meredith starts. "There's a bar my friends and I go to. And it's right across the street."

Addison makes a small hum noise at the back of her throat-- a chuckle?-- and Meredith nearly melts inside. She pushes the feelings away and tilts her head for Addison to follow her.

---

The bar was crowded and noisy, people chatting with their friends and playing darts. Addison and Meredith sat down at the counter and ordered their drinks. The first few minutes was in awkward silence, sipping on their Cosmos that Addison had ordered for the both of them. Addison took one more gulp before speaking.

"I'd like to start over."
Meredith pauses to look at her, swallowing her drink.
"Start... over?"
Addison nods.
"Yes."
They sit in silence for what felt like a million years. Addison admired how the lowlights of the bar gave Meredith a soft glow, not like the harsh white of the fluorescent lights inside Seattle Grace. Soft, blonde hair perfectly framing her face. Light blue sweater that made her eyes pop. Even in the dark bar, Meredith's eyes shone like diamonds. Addison couldn't tell what color it was. Green? Blue? Well, they were one of her most favorite sights in the world.

"I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. And, I mean, plus the whole... Derek thing," Addison swallows the lump in her throat. "So, if it's okay with you, I'd like to start over."

Meredith stares at her the whole time, not knowing what to say to the new level of vulnerability Addison showed. When Addison finished her sentence, she turned over to look at Meredith and Meredith just-- went breathless.

The warm lights of the bar cast shadows over Addison's face every time Joe walked past to tend to another customer. Addison's hair was let down, flowing freely from the tight ponytail she had on during her shift at the hospital. Addison had changed clothes since the last time Meredith saw her. She was wearing a soft grey sweater tucked into black slacks. She looked beautiful.

Meredith smiles softly at Addison. "I'd like that."
Addison smiles back at her, raising her glass towards Meredith. "To starting over."
Meredith clinks her glass with Addison's. "To starting over."