it was a great love (one for the ages) / DISCONTINUED

I'm Not Okay.

A month has passed by since Addison moved in with Meredith. The first few weeks were rocky due to tension between Addison and the other interns in the house, but it was quickly resolved and they were getting to know each other better. Addison and Derek finalized their divorce, they split their belongings and decided to sell their house in New York since neither one of them was planning to go back. They remain friends and they sometimes eat lunch together on their break, just like they used to.

Addison and Meredith have been getting closer. They go up to Kerry Park once a week to eat lunch and talk. They talked about anything, and everything. Addison told her about her brother, New York (Meredith's never been there), and her childhood, and Meredith talked about hers. Meredith had never been big on sharing about her past, but with Addison, she knew she could let her walls down and not be judged for it. Addison made her feel safe and happy.

Which is why it makes no sense when Meredith suddenly feels like crap.

She wakes up and the first thing she notices is a heavy, suffocating feeling in her chest. She takes a few deep breaths to try to resolve the feeling, but it stays. She would do anything to stay in the warmth of her bed and shut out the world right now. But she can't, because she is a surgeon and lives depend on her right now. Her pager goes off and she grumbles. She reluctantly untangles herself from her comforter and trudges to the bathroom to get ready, and stubs her toe on the leg of her nightstand.

"Ouch, great."

---

Meredith feels the dread settle in even more when she enters the locker room. Alex is teasing Izzie about something, Cristina is talking over the steps to a surgery to George. Meredith rubs her eye, feeling a headache coming on. Cristina comes up next to her locker and says something to her, but Meredith just can't focus on what she's saying.

"Mer. Meredith. Meredith."

Meredith looks at Cristina, dazed.

"Meredith. Are you okay?"

Meredith thinks over her answer.

"I'm fine."

Cristina doesn't seem convinced in the slightest. She opens her mouth to say something else, but is cut off by Bailey.

"Yang, Karev, check in on the patient in room 102, O'Malley, check in with your post-op patient then meet me in room 401, Izzie, go find Dr. Shepherd for your assignment, and Grey, you're on scut," Bailey says as she hands out charts.

Meredith is about to protest, but she doesn't have the energy to do it. She figures she'll just power through work and then go straight home to her bed.

---

It's just about lunchtime, which is when Addison usually comes looking for her so they could get lunch together. Meredith sees her girlfriend walking into the clinic, looking beautiful as ever, even after doing a surgery for three hours straight. Addison smiles when she spots Meredith.

"Hey, ready for lunch?"

Meredith closes the chart she's holding.

"Actually, Bailey wanted me to check in on another patient for her. Maybe another time?"

Addison looks disappointed, but understands.