Casted

Chapter 5: The Bottle Drops

     J.P. held his Fly Pad tightly in his wing as he ascended on the elevator. He hoped everything on this busy was prepared. He wasn't too scared though. He had been working hard on his Fly Pad for the past months, after all. The Fly Pad would surely have everything he needed.

And yet he couldn't help but feel some sort of anxiety building up inside of him, eating him away slowly. He decided to ignore it as the yellow platform finally stopped. He stepped off it and into the office of the only bird with a higher rank at T.O.T.S.

   "Are you ready?" Captain Beakman asked, raising her head from her work. J.P. stayed silent in shock, wondering exactly what he should be ready for. It was a Tuesday after all, so she could be asking if he were ready for tomorrow.

   "Well— uh— You do know, Captain Beakman, that although I'd usually forego entertainment, the time at the spa is—" J.P. mumbled before getting cut off by the captain of T.O.T.S.

   "As much as I am looking forward for tomorrow, I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about all our deliveries later," Captain Beakman said with a gentle chuckle. The embarrassment of thinking that was brought to light as his cheeks turned pink. He wished he could hide in his dysphoria hoodie.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of," Captain Beakman said, placing down her papers. Her motherly instincts activated. "Trans males don't need to experience toxic masculinity as well"

"I know, maman, but everyone else is experiencing it... It's hard not to let it affect me as well..." J.P. said. It had been years since he had transitioned, and yet the feeling of not passing never seemed to go away.

Captain Beakman seemed to be smiling lovingly and it was only then did he realise that he had accidentally called her "maman." He opened his beak to correct himself, but Captain Beakman spoke first.

"Maybe eventually you'll meet another male who would help teach you that there's more to being male than toxic masculinity could ever show you," Captain Beakman said. J.P. felt gratitude flow in him for having someone there to share some concerns with, even if she still didn't completely understand how it felt and he was still left with an empty hole.

   He did meet someone who he had shared every single concern to. More importantly, they actually did understand. They also managed to immediately help him feel better, and even solve some of the problems bothering him sometimes. It felt like those years could have lasted forever...

"Anyway, the delivery's probably not going to be too hard to do, even if a monkey-eating eagle would be tough, even for me..." Captain Beakman said. She seemed to be confident, but J.P. could sense some discomfort in her. He was feeling it, too.

"Isn't that why we're planning to do it in pairs?" J.P. asked, trying to think of something other than the anxiety eating away at him.

   "Right you are. Now I think it's time to get going. You might be late," Captain Beakman said, walking towards the elevator. This surprised J.P.. She was barely there for any other deliveries. Maybe she wanted to see him off. Is that what mothers did? He almost didn't remember how it felt to have one.

He shook his head. Captain Beakman probably was just being there since it was a big delivery as a whole, not because she wanted to be there as a proud mother. He took in a nervous breath as he stepped into the elevator with her, hoping she couldn't read minds.

   They finally landed and entered the crate-shaped chamber where the loading machines were hard at work, with eggs of monkey-eating eagles on each crate, ready to be prepped. Some already hatched while some were still very intact. J.P. supposed it was a lottery for this.