HER NIKOLAI (Her Volkovs Book 1)

Chapter 7. The Love Doctor.

Nikolai and I are spooning on his bed. He's resting his ripped and tattooed arm around my stomach just below my breasts. I can feel his warm breath on my nape delivering small sparks of electric current down my spine. 

Nikolai's presence is my safe place. Whenever I am with him, I feel like no one and nothing can ever harm me. He makes me feel invincible and at ease.

I can feel that Nikolai is comfortable with me as well. Unlike his often serious and don't effin mess with me look whenever he's around other people and his men, when it's only the two of us, he is playful, naughty and affectionate and I love every moment of it.

"Hmmm.." Murmured Nikolai, inhaling deep on my skin at the back of my right ear while planting small warm kisses. "I want you baby....." His voice is so gentle and soft, the sparks of electric current running down my spine are starting to overcome my whole body.

I can feel his warm tongue touch my now vulnerable skin in between kisses. Slowly, I can feel my body flush. My abdomen is constricting like hell in response to every sensation that Nikolai is causing my body.

Nikolai's hand explores my curvatures. From my thigh up to my breasts, his hand is running on my skin in slow motion.

He then slowly climbed on top of me while pushing my body to the bed to face him. He cups my left breast with his right hand and squeezed it gently. His beautiful green eyes are keenly observing every bit of my reaction. He parted his lips a little as his torso rubs against mine.

I inhaled deep as I try to catch my breath. At the back of my mind, I think I know what's going to happen next. Oh god, is this it? The reason in my head tells me to slow down and to stop but my heart is telling me otherwise.

While his eyes are still glued to me, I can feel his hand slowly reaching down my red lace underwear. Oh my god it is really happening. So this is it? Am I going to let go of the one thing I have been holding on to my whole life for this night and to this marvel of a man?

"Stop. Please. I'm not ready." There, I said it. The tiny voice of reason inside my head won over my heart.

I feel like small needles are pinching my eyes. The tears that are slowly forming on my eyes are already threatening to fall. "I'm sorry Nikolai." I cupped my face including my eyes as I try to speak audibly.

"Look at me. You don't have to say sorry." Nikolai said as he tries to remove my hands off of my face. Oh god, I feel more guilty right now because of his reaction. Part of me wishes he did not have to be this understanding. Part of me wants him to get mad at me for leading him to this.

"Baby please, I can't stand seeing you like this. I am sorry. Just look me in the eyes I'm begging you." I feel like my heart is being slowly crushed hearing Nikolai plead to me like this.

I can't do it. I don't want to see his face and I don't want him to see me like this. This is all my fault! I shouldn't have allowed the situation to come to this point. I should have been clear to him about this.

Next thing I know, Nikolai removed himself off of me and walked away from the bed.

"FUCK!!!!!!!" Nikolai yelled and banged the door on his way out.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

My eyes flicker from the light illuminating through the curtains. As I attempt to open my eyes wider, I see a familiar silhouette. It's Nikolai, and he's sitting on the brown leather chair next to the windows. I rub my eyes to have a clearer view of my surroundings and to see clearly my Nikolai. I realized that he is looking at me observing every move I make.

I slowly step down the bed as I try to find my balance. I feel a little bit groggy from sobbing last night. I remember bawling my eyes before being lulled to sleep by my own exhaustion.