Are You Kidding Me?!!

Chapter 19

I was in backyard, sitting by pool with my legs inside it. I took a long puff from joint. It's been a while since my mind wasn't running.

I looked up in dark sky. The stars were shining, looking down on me. The breeze was soothing since it was 3am.

I woke up at midnight, Addy was still sleeping so I left her a note.

When I came home, my parents were sleeping peacefully. It was good to know they have peace atleast.

I couldn't sleep, so here I was, enjoying solitude.

Calm mind really helps in thinking straight. Thinking about the whole thing backward really helped me.

When things doesn't go right all you can do is be honest. That's what I'll do.

I'll be honest with myself and them. I don't want to pretend someone else just for the sake of being loved. Cause that's not how it works.

Relationship build on honesty and trust goes long way. That's exactly what I want, what I need.

I sighed, took the last puff and almost lost my balance. I was high. If I sleep now, I won't wake up in morning for school.

I wore my flipflops, went inside and walked upstairs without tripping or falling down.

I opened the door of my room, went inside and locked it.

I kicked off my flipflops and jumped on bed. I let out a deep breath.

I was staring at the ceiling. It was a long weekend.

I should stop trying so hard at things that don't matter and start trying at things that do. Lies don't go long way, I know old ways won't open new doors. I want change in my life and the right choice is hardly ever a easy choice.

A wise man once said "If you don't like how things are, change them. You're not a tree." It still resonates with me.

Sitting still and doing nothing won't make it any better. I can't just ponder on things about how bad they are, how my life sucks. No one will do for me, no one can change anything. It's only me who can do.

I left my old life behind for good. It's still there but I was not in it.

Setting goal important. It's like the north star, letting you know what are you living for. What you want in life?

Life is a process, where we want to achieve small goals, like graduation, job, marrying someone. But the end goal here is to have a happy life with your family.

Happy life huh. I chuckled, I don't know if it's or sad.

I still have yet to experience love. I wonder how I'll handle life.

I closed my eyes til sleep took over me.

~~~

I heard someone knocking on my door. I took my phone from nightstand and checked the time.

It was 7am.

I groaned. I got out of bed and unlocked the door just to reveal mom.

I squinted my eyes, it was too early for me to see.

"Get ready and come down. We need to talk to you." She stated, more like ordered.

"We?" I asked, confused

"Me and your dad. Don't you have school?" She asked.

"Uh yeah" I muttered.

"Then come downstairs fast. We don't want you to be late for school" she said and walked away.