Sitting at Chunkey's we went through the map of Missoula and decided where we could go and what we could capture in the photographs. The waitress and staff were already pointing their fingers on us as they didn't see Sydney and Jordan coming in with us, today it was just us- Noah and Zoe. It was the first time Jozney was not together and at some point I felt that Noah would be the reason why Jozney would break if it ever did.
Our first location was Bitterroot River. It was paradise on earth. I used to go there every time my father would hit my mother. It was somehow a place where I could find solace and peace. My father was the violent kind and my mother the victim. They have been fighting since like forever. I have never had a family dinner in my entire life and Christmas for me and my older brother was having dinner in our rooms while mom and dad were fighting in the living room downstairs. Even after inviting a 100 people over for the Christmas party to flex all our riches,we never really celebrated it ,the night would always end with mom bleeding . Ever since I gained my conscience I asked mom to part ways with dad, but she would never agree to this. One day after Joey's graduation my father hit mom with the lamp kept on the table beside him on mom's head, she fainted and the blood running down from her head made me want to puke, that was the day when I took my first molly. I was 15 then. I knew about the dealers and how they worked because I've been raised in such an environment. Every time dad traded bills for a few pills, every time dad exchanged cash for powder, pot or LSD's I was there watching him from behind the stairs or from my window. I never overdosed or went out of control to hit someone, I knew the consequences so I took enough for myself to handle. None knew about this except Jordan and the dealers of course.
But today neither dad hit mom nor was there anything for me to find solace, today Bitterroot River was only for research purposes. After about 2 hours we captured a picture that was perfect for our project, I never really understood what depth and with what insight Noah was clicking pictures but I was supporting him anyway.
We then went to a few other places but got nothing worth a pic. After 3 hours of wandering into wilderness we finally sat on an abandoned bench trying to sip on to our coffees.
" Why don't you talk to me? Have I in any way offended you?" said Noah while looking at the sky up ahead.
"No, why would you say that? It's just that I don't get along with people easily you know. I have been with Sydney and Jordan ever since I was a child and I couldn't make any more friends. I think others would just not accept who I am with all my flaws and social anxiety. But tell me one thing Noah, why did you choose me? Why did you pick me over Ashley? What did you see in me?" I said looking at him while sipping my coffee.
"I don't really know why I chose you over Ashley, I guess just because you are natural and not covered with filters or makeup like Ashley. Ever since I joined the school you paid the least interest in my abs or in me and I guess that's what's so special about you. You are just you and nothing more. You accept that you are the dullard unlike Ashley...I don't mean to judge Ashley but it's annoying the way she throws herself on me."
"Yeah she could get like that sometimes." I said smiling at him.
"Zoe I think I like you" he said looking at me direct in my eyes.
"Uhhhhh, I guess it's too early for that but we will just be friends and keep this to ourselves I don't want Ashley roughing me up tomorrow at the school" I chuckled realizing that wasn't funny and looked away from him.
" Zoe, I said what I wanted to and I will be waiting for your answer" he said looking away from me , holding his blue eyes back to the sky.
The ride back home was silent mostly and awkward for the rest of the time as none of us really spoke after the confession he just made, my heart was pounding him my chest and I couldn't wait to go home and call Jordan. Sydney was not really someone you could get advices from in such cases, Jordan was the more sensible one here and I trusted him the most.
"Bye" I said as he dropped me in front of my house.
"Bye, see you tomorrow at the school. It was fun hanging out with you." he said and drove off.
"Jordan, Noah said quote "I think I like you"" I whispered to Jordan on the phone.
"Zoe, he is a nice guy. I guess you should date him" he said with no excitement and his poker face as I imagined.
"Jordan you think I can date him, I thought you would be all skeptical about him" I said with sadness in my voice because deep down I knew Jordan would never accept him and I then had an excuse to turn Noah down. But what Jordan said made my head thump more than ever and my brain crave for the molly in my back pocket.
"Ok Jordy." I said while I popped the molly in my mouth.
Jordan was never really the type to talk for hours long unlike Sydney, he said "ok" and we hung up. I then dozed off jumping back to my molly world where things never went downhill, they always floated.
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Also post your suggestions in the comment section about what twists and turns should I bring Zoe's life.
YOU ARE READING
Zoe Zabrowski
Romance" I am not asking for happiness, all I am asking for is a little less pain. Is it too much to ask for?" I said and burst into tears. It's all about me dealing with my drug issues, my daddy issues and my school issues. Don't know if you'll like read...
