Be In Love

1-5 Broken.

A/N For a panic attack scene and emotional abuse.

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Previously on Be In Love...

[[Ryujin held her cheek, her head still facing the wall. "Fuck you, Ryujin," she seethes, not bothering to add honorifics. Chaeryeong's heart was broken, she loved the girl. Yet, she betrayed her trust. 'How can I forgive something like this?]]

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The sad part was she wanted to forgive Ryujin. She understood that technically it wasn't cheating. Understanding and feeling are two totally different things. Ryujin had left quietly, leaving Chaeryeong alone to cry. 'Why does love have to hurt so fucking much? How is it that no one has a squeaky-clean love story? There is always some drama in the mix.' She cried hard. With every tear, it felt as if a piece of her broke off. 'Oh, god. I hit her. She would never hit me, yet I struck her. I didn't mean to; I need to apologize. I need to tell her that I love her, that I didn't mean to respond like that. I need her to come back.' She thought, as her body shook harder, her breathing became restricted. Her heart felt as if it was going to jump out of her chest. She felt so helpless. No sounds would leave her body. Arms wrapped around her; the person was speaking, but she couldn't make out the words. Her limbs wouldn't move. Even when she commanded them, to.

"Unnie! Breathe! Breathe! It's okay, I've got you. Everything is going to be alright, unnie, but I need you to breathe!" Yuna was trying not to panic, but the girl in her arms wasn't moving; she wasn't breathing or anything. The brunette's body just kept shaking. Yuna climbed onto the bed with Chaeryeong, pulling her against her. "Unnie, it's Shin Yuna. You like to call me aga as if I'm your child. Focus on the sound of my voice, breathe unnie, please breathe." "Y-Yuna-ah it h-hurt. M-my c-chest h-hurts." Yuna nods, her head feeling better now that the woman was speaking. "I know, I know your lungs need air, we have to slow your heart rate down, unnie. Come on, breathe with me." The taller girl grabs her hand, placing it on her chest. "Inhale...exhale," she instructs her.

She sat there, guiding Chaeryeong through breathing exercises for ten minutes. The maknae never saw her unnie in such a state. 'Ryujin-unnie had better get to explaining.' "Do you want me to stay with you, unnie?" Chaeryeong didn't want to ask the girl but, she considered her a safe place. "If you don't mind?" Yuna nodded quickly, "of course, unnie. I'll stay as long as you need me to." She wrapped her arms around the shorter girl, encouraging her to snuggle in, "Thank you, Yuna-ah." The raven-haired girl smiled softly, "no need to thank me, unnie get some rest."

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Broken didn't even begin to describe how Ryujin felt. She had let everyone down and not just everyone. She let the girl that she loved down. She had the audacity to call Yeji-unnie selfish, yet she somewhat did the same thing. Ryujin only thought about her feelings. She hadn't considered that Chaer had a rough week. 'I look and feel like an asshole. I shouldn't have fucking kissed her. She had every right to strike me.' The short-haired girl had been in the dance room since last night. She couldn't sleep a wink. How could she when the events that took place kept repeating every time, she closed her eyes? "Fuck!" she yelled, sending her hand through the nearest wall.

'I don't want anyone else. Not long term, no one could compare to Chaer. We understand each other. How the fuck am I going to fix this? Can I fix this?' Ryujin dropped to the ground, hugging her knees, finally letting the dam break open. "I'm a fuck up. I love her so much..." her voice broke. "Ryujin-ah?" Ryujin wiped her face as quickly as she could, turning to look at whoever called her. "Unnie?" Lia wordlessly hugged the broken girl. "It's okay to cry in front of others. Holding it all in will only make matters worse." That did the trick Ryujin's walls completely crumbled. She couldn't pretend to be strong anymore. Jisu was pulled down to the floor by the younger girl. "I screwed up, unnie." The brunette held her tightly, rubbing her back soothingly.