BLACK OUT DAYS

( Alternate Universe ) ( TW: Sexual assault, rape mention, transphobia, needles, semi-graphic violence, death. )

"Nothing is wrong." Nothing was ever wrong. But everything seemed to be.

"I don't understand." Mirage cooed the words softly, sitting on the edge of the bed, one foot up on the corner while his other channelled every ounce of his anxiety as it bounced wildly against the floor. "It's been months, I've been watching you -" decay - disintegrate, dissolve into the darkness? Mirage knew what depression looked like, and even on someone as unwavering as Bloodhound, the stench of misery was unmistakable.

"Nothing is wrong."

It seemed like that was all they could say anymore. Every movement was the same - as if they were playing on repeat, as if they were a mechanical husk of themselves, a ghost haunting the hallways and holding onto some shred of normalcy.

elliott had lived nearly the last year watching this magnificent creature take to the battle, alive with the thrill of the hunt. But now each match seemed to slump their stature all the more, as if Hound was keeping the battle on their shoulders - a weight too heavy to carry.

"If you don't want to talk about it, it's okay - I just want you to know if something is wrong... I love you, I'm here." Honestly, he'd been struggling with the feeling that he'd done something - that he'd fucked up somehow. That a joke went too far, that a comment was too stupid, that he wasn't honourable enough to be worthy. elliott was at constant war with himself, and this had only fueled the fires.

If only he'd known.

"elliott." It didn't sound like it usually did - it wasn't the same honey and ambrose that sweetened their tone, this time his name was flat, full of sorrow. "This is not good for either of us. I let you go. This was a mistake."

A crescendo of shattering stained-glass windows, the cry of doves being shot from the sky - elliott didn't know what a heart breaking sounded like, but he was becoming increasingly familiar with the way it felt.

"A mistake." He parrotted, hands coming to meet the edge of his fraying sweater, wrapping fingers around stray threads so tight his skin shifted to a cool blue. 'I didn't mean to.' - he thought 'I'm sorry for whatever I said.' - the last few shards of heart that hadn't stabbed into his ribcage were beating like furious drums, casting a cherry glow across his face. "I'm sorry." Was all he could muster - he didn't want to force Bloodhound to do something they didn't want to do anymore.

Standing from there, Mirage struggled to keep his tears from staining his cheeks with all the begging he wanted to do. He ached for nothing more than to fling himself mercilessly at the feet of his lover, begging for another chance to do better - to fix his mistakes. But, if Mirage was the mistake, then he knew leaving would be better. Bloodhound deserved nothing less than perfection.

"I'll go." There was a false smile, a sheep in wolf's clothing - he forced the wide wolfish grin, but anyone looking close enough could see the lamb accepting the slaughter was coming.

"Just..." a hand at the door as he headed to leave, a shrug, a soft whimper that was disguised as a cough. "If there's anything." There was no room for jokes, no stumbling over himself - that version of himself was buried beneath the weight of his words. "I'll always be there for you if you need me. If you change your mind about - I mean not us, that's okay, if you need space... Just, if something else is wrong."

It still felt off, it felt twisted - his stomach churned and rolled. "You know where to find me." There was a stupid little wiggle and a set of fingerguns before he spun away from the room, unable to hold it back any longer.