The Tape

Chapter 24

Nine Months Earlier 

Lizzie's POV: I shifted on my feet as I looked up at the house anxiously. The house I haven't seen in weeks since Penelope kicked me out. Since, I've actually had contact with anyone other than my doctor. And in the time when I needed everyone's support the most, they all shut me out. Even my own mother has somehow ghosted me.

I lay a hand on my stomach as I pulled my key out of my pocket. "Don't worry, she'll love you", I whispered, pushing the door open as I made my way into the living room.

"Lizzie? What are you doing here", Hope frowned, sitting up from the couch.

"I have something to tell you", I admitted, causing her to get off the couch with a scoff. 

"I don't want to hear your excuses", she said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Get out", she demanded.

"Hope, just listen-"

"I said get out", she exclaimed.

"Not until I've said what I have to say", I shot back as she shook her head.

"Fine. I'll leave", she said, walking toward the door as she grabbed her jacket.

"Hope, please, just stop a minute", I pleaded, chasing after her. "Stop. Please, just let me explain", I begged as my eyes filled with tears.

"What is there to explain, Lizzie", she asked, turning around. "We're done. The wedding's called off", she stated, crossing her arms as my stomach twisted painfully.

"Hope, please don't do this", I begged tearfully as the tears ran down the side of her face.

"Why not?! You've been sneaking off in the middle of the night, and lying to me", she exclaimed as her voice cracked. "I trusted you more than anyone in my life. Was all that just a lie", she asked as my face fell.

"No", I promised, begging her to believe me. "But I need you to listen. To believe me", I pleaded. "Please don't shut me out. It isn't what it looks like, I swear", I begged desperately. 

"Really? Then where were you on Tuesday night", she demanded, crossing her arms across her chest.

"I...", I forced out, trying to get the words out. "I can't, Hope. I'm sorry", I whispered uselessly.

"So am I", she sighed. "I trusted you. I let you into my work, into my home, and I was gonna let you into my family...", she choked out as I looked down shamefully. Why can't I tell her?! Why can't I say it out loud? I've accepted it. I've accepted the idea of becoming a mom with Hope by my side. "I waited in that waiting room for hours, Lizzie. I thought we were supposed to be in this together", she exclaimed as I felt my breath catch. The images of Hope and I raising a child together slowly faded away as I clenched my eyes shut.

"Hope, we are in this together", I pointed out, almost begging myself to believe the same thing. To believe that she wouldn't leave me alone. 

"No, we're not", she admitted as I felt my chest tighten. "You've been lying, and keeping secrets from me. This is better", she said, taking a step back to put distance between us. "At least now you can have some kind of normal life. We can never have that. Not now...", she sighed as I shook my head in denial. As all the images of Hope and I raising our child together darkened. 

"I don't care about a normal life, Hope", I exclaimed. "I'm going crazy not seeing you. I think about you every minute. Wondering if that would be the last time I saw you again. Thinking about you in that waiting room...", I trailed off as my voice broke. Thinking of myself standing above Hope's coffin as I raised our child alone. "I couldn't take it anymore. I needed a break", I explained, trying to explain why I haven't come forward sooner. 

I needed time.

Time to accept becoming a mother.

Time to accept the possibility of having to raise our child...alone.

She shook her head with a sob as she continued toward the door, causing me to quickly grab her hand. "Hope, please...don't leave", I begged as tears ran down my face. 

I honestly didn't know if I was begging her to stay here, or...

Not die.

"You don't care anymore? Is that it", I accused. Does she not care if she lived or died anymore? That she's leaving the people that love her behind?

"It doesn't matter how I feel", she cried, yanking her hand away from me.

"Then tell me that you don't love me anymore. Say it", I exclaimed, crossing my arms over my chest stubbornly.

"Is that what you need to hear? Will that help", she asked bitterly. No, cause even if you stopped loving me, I'll love you now and forever. "I don't. I've stopped loving you since the first night we've made love", she spat, causing my shoulders to tense as I stepped away from her. Does that mean that everything was a lie? That they were a...

I held a hand to my stomach tearfully as if trying to protect them from the truth. "I've never loved you", she sneered. "Get it though your thick skull, Elizabeth. You're nothing to me", she yelled tearfully as I shook my head.

"You don't mean that", I said barely above a whisper. "All these months of buying me gifts, taking me out on dates...", I trailed off tearfully. "Everything", I whispered. "That was all just some plot to get into my pants", I asked as my lip quivered. "No. You wouldn't do that", I denied.

"Works every time", she shrugged carelessly as I felt my heart shatter.

"Shut up", I yelled throwing my hands over my ears. "It's not true", I yelled as tears streamed down my face.

It can't be. 

Not again.

Not after everything we've been through.

After everything we could've had...

A sob escaped my mouth as I took my hands away, looking up at her heart-brokenly. "Hope, just listen. Listen", I cried, grabbing onto her arm as I dropped to my knees. "Please...just listen", I sobbed, gripping onto her shirt as her eyes filled up with tears before she quickly blinked them away.

"There's nothing you can say that will change my mind, Lizzie", she admitted as I froze, looking up into her darkened eyes as everything came crashing down around me. "Not this time", she said as I released her shirt, wiping away the tears as I forced myself onto my feet.

"Then you're right", I admitted, wrapping my arms around myself. "Maybe we shouldn't be together after all", I swallowed. "Maybe...I would've been better off if we never would've met. If I would've stayed in Europe with the only people that ever loved me", I breathed, watching her walls crack. "It sure would've hurt less", I smiled sadly as I looked down, touching the ring on my finger lovingly. Closing my eyes, I slid the ring off my finger as I read the engraving, trying to remember every detail.

My life didn't start til I met you-Lizzie

Looking up at Hope, I grabbed her hand, turning it over so that her palm was facing me. Looking into her blue eyes sadly, I placed the ring into her open palm, before closing her hand around the ring.

"I may have been better off if I never met you. If I never...fallen in love with you", I said, holding her fist in my hand as if it may break. "But I don't regret it a single second. I'll always treasure the memories that we shared together", I promised before pressing a loving kiss on top on her knuckle. "Goodbye, Hope", I sobbed out, giving her a watery smile as I watched her walls tumble before me as her tears streamed down her face non-stop.

Moving around her, I breathed in deeply before pushing the door open and walking out the door. Hearing the door close behind me, I closed my eyes painfully before looking up into the sky before my feet moved forward, wondering into the night with no real target in mind.