𝗦𝗧𝗥𝗔𝗪𝗕𝗘𝗥𝗥𝗜𝗘𝗦 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗖𝗜𝗚𝗔𝗥𝗘𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗦 (𝟣𝟪+) ❣ 𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘩𝘺𝘶𝘤𝘬.

chapter one.

[!] tw // razor blade, skin cutting
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renjun runs at the back of the school, escaping from his class again. his heart's beating so fast, skin's sweating so hard, and body's shaking intensely.

he couldn't breathe. he needs to get away from that classroom. he clenches his fist tightly until he reaches the exit, ignoring the guard's yells, telling him to get back there.

he sits on the ground while panting heavily. he unhooks his bag from his shoulder and gets his tumbler to drink some water. when he calms down a bit, he grabs a razor blade from his wallet that he got from the pocket of his bag.

he lifts the sleeves of his sweater and stares at his healed lines of scars. he sighs deeply and traces it using the blade, cutting his skin once again. he knows it hurts, but it doesn't compare to the pain he's feeling inside right now.

when he's satisfied, he throws away the blade so he wouldn't be able to see and use it again. he smiles at himself as he stares at the newly cut skin on his wrist.

"i hate them so much," he mumbles. "i fucking wanna drop out." he gritted his teeth, hissing at the pain on his skin.

don't get him wrong, he wants to study hard. but he just really can't do it. he felt like he doesn't want to achieve anything anymore. he's so sick of everybody, tired of everything. he wants to fall into a coma and not wake up again. he wishes to disappear.

he cries and cries on the ground, ignoring the people seeing him. he fucking doesn't care. he just wants to let it all out.

"hey kid, you have lighter there?" someone just asks him randomly despite of his obvious state.

he wipes off his tears and looks up at the person who just spoke. he furrows his eyebrows, looking at the man confusedly, "lighter?"

"light my cigarette," the man says.

renjun purses his lips and shakes his head, "sorry, i don't have lighter," he utters.

the man slouches and bends his knees so he can take a closer look at him. renjun backs away, putting down his sleeves to hide the cuts.

he stares at the man. he seems to have blue eyes, but he assumes they're only contact lenses. he wears a simple white shirt and black jeans, and he has faded purple hair. he looks fine. "what do you need?"

the man chuckles, "i think you should go back to your class. it's bad to skip class, you know."

renjun looks away and the man goes back to standing straight. "i don't want to."

"come with me, then," the man offers.

"why?" he fidgets his fingers. he's starting to feel anxious. he doesn't know what this man's gonna do with him. "get away from me."

"i'm not going to hurt you."

he declines. "i don't want to come with you. you're a stranger."

"then go back to your class," the man orders, his tone scaring renjun.

he sighs and grabs his bag then clings it to his shoulder. he stares at him once more before running away to go back to his class.

the man licks his lips, watching renjun enters the back gate. he then sighs, putting his hands on each pockets of his pants. "i wonder what's his name."

renjun pants as he arrives his classroom. everyone stares at him and he hates it so much. he hates attention. he hates being the center of attraction, it makes him wanna vomit.

he ignores them and just walks towards his seat. the professor shakes his head before continuing to discuss her lesson, to which renjun doesn't have an interest in.

he leans to his desk, putting his elbow on it then his chin on his palm. he thinks about that guy who asked him to light his cigarette earlier.

why would he ask a random person for a lighter? he could've just go to a nearby store and borrow or buy a lighter there. but he has blue eyes and purple hair, he looks attractive.

he shakes his head as he tries to erase the guy's image in his mind.
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