Cold (Levi x Reader)

9

I continue to clean without saying anything. Levi isn't saying anything.

I've made it awkward.

Again, I have made it awkward.

I want to break the ice. I look at him, only to see him cleaning. He doesn't look phased. He probably thought nothing of it.

'Here.' I say, giving his cloth back.

He looked at me plainly.

'What are you giving this to me for?'

'I've finished my side of the room.' I gesture.

'Tch.' He says. He looks at my cleaning carefully. I close my eyes, expecting to be shouted at, but nothing happens. I open my eyes and look around. He continues to inspect my cleaning. He turns around and continues his side of the room. He doesn't look impressed or dissatisfied- he's really hard to read sometimes. But he hasn't said anything, so I assume that it is good. I smile at myself a little, allowing this win.

Now that I have finished, I should make a conversation. I don't want to leave yet; he might think I am desperate to leave - which appears rude.

'Is your lip okay, Sir?' I ask.

He continues to clean.

'Did you think I cried about it?' He says calmly, wiping the surface of the bunk bed with a cloth.

Is he teasing me? Is he making a joke with me? He never makes jokes with anyone but Hanji. I take this opportunity to joke with him back.

'Yes.' I tease him back.

He looks over his shoulder to look at me.

'Don't roll your eyes at me.' I say. I gasp. I've gotten too friendly with him. Shit.

Shit.

I need to remember that he is my captain. I can't just say these things.

He walks over to me.

He grabs my arm.

He brings me toward him.

He's my superior. I shouldn't joke with him.

I squint my eyes in preparation for his shouting.

But he doesn't. He grabs my arm and firmly holds it without saying anything.

What is this?

He leans toward me quickly and grabs the back of my hair, tightening it around his fist. It pulls on me slightly.

What's happening?

I don't feel myself lean backwards. I'm not leaning forwards either. I'm just still whilst my hair is still being pulled on by his hand.

His grip is tightening around my hair. I let out a small moan.

Shit.

His eyes widen and his grip lightens. His expressionless face has morphed. I don't even know what face he's pulling. I feel my cheeks turn red and I look to the floor, his hand still in my hair. A huge surge of shame and embarrassment floods over me, causing each toe to curl in my shoes. I tighten my breathing and slant my eyebrows downward out of shame.

I look back toward him.

He looks at me in bewilderment. His eyes narrows on me, his eyebrows curling downward. He tenses his lips. Then, his expression changes. He looks resolved and calm now. I see a slight flicker of a smirk on his lips. It was fleeting, so I could barely make it out.

He releases my hair and my arm slowly. He parts his lips as if to say something, but nothing comes out. Only a small croak and a short exhale of breath comes out. Nothing else. He closes his lips and straightens his posture.

I need to apologise. I need to make him understand that it was a misunderstanding.

'Sir-'

'Hey!' The door opens and two cadets walk in the door. It's Armin and Eren. 'Oh we're sorry, were we interrupting you guys??'

Levi snapped his head.

'No. We were just leaving.' He walks out of the door.

'Jeez, you must have pissed him off!!' Armin says.

I quickly snap out of it, and give a fake smile toward Armin. I rush out of the door. I try to find Levi, but he is no where to be seen.

I wonder where he went....

'Y/N', Sasha called to me and gave me a hug.

'I'm just about to go to dinner. You coming??'

I nod and I silently go to dinner with her. She talks to me - like she always does. But I wasn't thinking about that. I was thinking about Levi.

I keep replaying that moment. I let out that moan - why did I do that?? What took over me?? What is going on?? I felt that he was about to yell at me, and my reaction was to moan. The more I think about it, the more I want to kill myself.

Dinner felt like a blur. I didn't really eat at all. I allowed Sasha to have my food - I didn't feel like eating. My stomach keeps tying knots in my stomach.

I try go to bed. I share a dorm with Sasha, so it's hard to sleep with her because of her snoring. I toss and turn, trying to sleep, but I cannot. It also doesn't help that I feel like throwing up.

Maybe it's because I'm thirsty. I haven't drank anything for a while - it could be dehydration.

I quietly get up and put on my slippers. I tip toe to the door and open it. I remember that the hall is downstairs - they have a water jug there.

The floors are creaky, making me become extremely paranoid that someone can hear me. The stairs are just infront of me. I go to walk down, but at the corner of my eye, I see something.

It's a door. It's slightly open, and light is emitting from it.

Is someone in there??

I don't feel like sleeping right now anyways. I go to peek through the slight opening in the door.

'The fuck do you want?'

Shit.

I quickly tip toe in the opposite direction but the back of my neck has been grabbed. The person holds my firmly, hurting my neck. Their nails dig into me. I hold my breath from the pain.

The person takes my neck and makes me turn around to face him.

It's Levi.