Front Row

Chapter 18

A/N: the pant suits! Sage is the first pic, then lily, then Lana!

I woke up the next morning pretty early. I was slightly restly due to the feeling of being somewhere unfamiliar. I walked out into my kitchen and made myself some coffee. Lily was still asleep on the couch. I guess she never got up to move to the guest room.

The bitter liquid woke me up quite well. Lily started to move on the couch due to my noise. I looked up to see her blue eyes staring at me.

"Good Morning sunshine." I said while taking another sip as she groaned.

"I thought we were doing coffee on the beach?" She asked and I nodded.

"We are. I'm just waiting for you to get up." She stood up and stretched.

"I'm up. Pour me some coffee and let's go." I walked over and grabbed her a mug full of coffee and walked out the door. We headed down the road until we reached a small beach that was very empty due to the time.

"I have to buy a car this week." I told her while sitting down on the small towel. Remember that I sold my first car before I left for college.

"Yeah you do. What car do you want?" She asked and looked at the water that was a beautiful blue this morning.

"I'm not sure. I might just get a jeep." I answered while taking a sip of my coffee. She nodded. "So how are you?" I wanted to catch up with her.

"I'm honestly pretty good. Charlotte is getting so big already and she's so vocal. She loves talking now and she is so cuddly. She never stops asking about you." She told me which made my heart warm. "The law firm has been good. I'm honestly really happy with where I am right now." I smiled and told her I was happy for her. It's so nice to hear that she was doing well. She was still pretty young for everything that she had on her plate. She was only four years older than me, yet she was married at my age and had a daughter the next year. Charlotte wasn't an accident. She had her whole life in order and yet I'm 21 and don't know if I'm actually going to make it big in the fashion industry.

She noticed the distress on my face as I started to think about everything. I was getting a knot in my stomach and my anxiety was creeping up on me. "Hey. Are you okay?" She asked me while putting her hand on my arm.

"I'm just starting to think how successful you were at my age, and I am taking a chance on a career that might not even work out." I breathed out and she gave me a small laugh.

"Your feelings are totally valid, but look at you. You bought a beautiful house completely on your own with the money YOU make. You got a college degree. You make an incredible amount of money for your age. I rushed my life. Not that I'm unhappy how it turned out, but I will always hold a piece of regret for not slowing down. Enjoy this. When the time comes around for you to start your own line, then we all will be there to help and support you." She told me which gave me a big relief and a pull back into reality. She's right. I'm doing okay right now.

"Thank you. That really helped. Lately it's just been stressful because I just keep feeling like I'm not gonna accomplish anything." I sighed and she nodded.

"You've been through a lot this year. Everything with that piece of shit Conner, and a big move, and everything other stresser. It's okay to feel under pressure right now. Have you been having attacks again?" She asked me and I looked at my hands.

"Not as often, but still sometimes. When things get to be too much I just get into the mode of complete numbness after them, but they haven't been frequent." I reassured her. She was the only person who I talked openly about my mental health with. My parents knew, and Lana knew some of it, but Lily knew everything.