BACKSTAGE | BILL HADER

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄

How anyone at SNL was alive after working there, Otilia couldn't tell you. These people seemed to run on nothing but air and coffee. Case in point, the moment she had stepped off the elevator into 30 Rock someone had interrupted her phone call with her best friend Clarissa, who was attempting to reassure her that people would want to work with her and handed her a cup of coffee, saying she looked like she needed it before dashing away muttering under their breath. She took this as the universe's signal to woman up, so she hung up the phone and marched in the direction the crazy coffee guy had gone. It took her a couple of tries, poking her head into random offices only to find out that was the sound mixing room or something, to find Lorne Michaels office which was full to the brim with chattering adults sitting crosslegged on the floor or squished on a small sofa by the door. Conveniently the E! news report she'd seen the day after her hosting was announced, listing twenty-five reasons why she was the worst choice to host, most of which were some variation of that she was a soulless bitch with no personality, suddenly flashed through her mind doing nothing to calm her nerves. But she swallowed her apprehension and stepped into the doorway and gave a little wave to the crowd, of which about two people noticed her. So she cleared her throat and said, "Hello!" in the cheeriest voice she could muster at 9:00 am. This caught the attention of those near the door who began to shush everyone around them till the room rooms focus was solely on her.

"Um hello, this is Lorne Michaels office, yes?" As she spoke she became painfully aware of her heavy accent and cringed as the words came out of her mouth. There was a moment of silence before a man next to her spoke up, 

"Uh, yeah, that's right...you must be Otilia then. Lorne isn't here yet but he should arrive any second,"  He scratched the back of his head awkwardly as though he wasn't expecting her, none of them seemed to have been expecting her. 

"Am I early? Because...what is going on?" She found herself spitting out the question to the man beside her as the conversation began to pick up throughout the room again, but quieter this time. 

"Oh well Lorne is never on time, and well neither is the host, usually, so I guess you can just wait here with us until everything starts. That's your seat," He pointed to a chair next to the big desk at the front of the room, " And my name is Seth by the way, I'm the head writer here," He smiled at her, perhaps an attempt to ease her obvious nerves and confusion, or perhaps he was actually being nice. Her thought train was, however, abruptly interrupted by a sharp voice from the floor to her left, 

"Subtle Meyers, real subtle way to slide that in there." She looked down and saw a man with a brown shaggy, mop of hair as well as a pair of rectangular glasses grinning at Seth and nudging the person who was sat beside him in the ribs, "My names Andy, I'm part of the cast. Nice to meet you." He reached up a hand and she shook it smiling slightly at his antics.

"My name is Otilia ... I'm the host," She added the latter as an afterthought in an attempt to sound funny, instead she thought she sounded a bit empty-headed given that that was obvious, however, if either of them noticed it they didn't let on as Andy tucked in his legs so she could walk through the crowd towards her chair. As she stepped over people, they would introduce themselves; Kristen, John, Keenan, Jason, Bobby and so on, but Otilia took it in her stride, greeting everyone she stepped over trying desperately to see the back of the criticism that the show had faced for booking her as a guest. She found her seat and sat down, crossing her legs and tucking her bag under them in one swift movement, relaxing only a fraction when the person sat in front of her turned around, arm outstretched and she felt the relaxation leap out of her body in a second. It was the hot guy from TV. The one who she had drunkenly declared her love to alone in her hotel room two nights prior. The worst thing was, he was even more attractive in person and he was opening his mouth to speak to her.