Stop

chapter 5

Kasidy's POV

I hate that Kyle's here. I hate it. He always seemed so happy. Why would he do this?! And why, of all places, the bridge? He's always hated it... Anyways, I guess there's nothing to do now.

When he fell, there was a lot of blood. He blacked out before the ambulance could get there...at first I couldn't figure out why there was so much then I felt something sticky and wet brush my thigh. His wrist. Carefully, I pick up his hand and turned it over to see line upon line of red. They must've opened when he fell. I cringed and laced my fingers through his. I was not going to let my Kyle, my Ky-Ky, my baby, my Kenny, my best friend go through this alone. And now, we're at the hospital. He hasn't woken up in five hours but the doctor said it was just blood loss.

Aron called me seventeen times. I answered at first.

"Do you know where Ky is?!" His voice was frantic.

"Why....?"

"We got in a fight and I lost control of myself and hit hi-" I hung up as soon as he said that. This motherfucker. He hit my Kyle?! No. No. No nope no not happening. If I wasn't waiting for him to wake up, I'd be beating the hell out of Aron right now. I've been telling Kyle for months he wasn't good.

Incidentally, maybe tonight was good. I found out he cuts which isn't a good thing to do but good that I know because I can help him. He broke up with Aron. No one has said anything about me not eating since Kyle got here.

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I feel someone looking at me and start to wake up. I don't remember falling asleep but this is the first time I've slept in a week and a half. If you don't eat, you don't sleep. I open my eyes and see Kyle's green eyes staring into mine. Not only did I fall asleep, but I fell asleep with my face next to his. Awesome.

"You're awake.." I yawn but it sounds more like "Yore aaake." Oops.

"Yeah, I have been for about ten minutes," his voice is quiet and weak.

"Kyle, why?" I ask hesitantly.

"I...." He looks down and blinks rapidly but I can see the tears in his eyes. "I couldn't do it anymore....." His voice was almost inaudible.

"Ky-Ky, tell me what happened," my voice cracked. "Everything, just start from the beginning." I look up at him and see tears slowly roll down his cheeks.

"It starts when mom died I guess..." His voice catches in his throat. Carefully, I reach up and brush away his tears. "Dad always blamed me for it because she died giving birth to me. My brother always hated me for it because he knew her and I didn't so I can't miss her. Dad likes to get drunk and..." His voice faded.

"He hits you? Kyle, why didn't you tell me...."

"Because I can handle it. It's weak to tell people about the crap wrong with me. It's weak, it's weak," he repeats over and over as it quickly turns into sobs.

"No, it's not, Kenny! It's admitting you need help every now and then. Everyone had flaws. Some are scars, some are abuse, some are just silly and some aren't. Some are just..ya know..scared.. I understand that it's hard to tell people, but if he ever his you again call me, run to my house, never go back- never let him do it again. You are such a strong person, you're amazing. You're perfect. Look at your wrists, you have battle scars. Never let anyone tell you that you're less than you are, Ky. You have battle scars and you survived. You have nothing but strength in you. No fear. No weakness. You're incredible. You're my bother and I love you more than anyone in this world, Kyle." I admit, holding him tightly- but not too tightly.

"I..wow.." He whispers as tears begin to roll down his cheeks.

"I've got you," I promise, gingerly wiping tears away. My sleeve rolls down slightly, revealing a dark red line but he doesn't say anything, doesn't even glance down. I don't think he saw it.

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The doctors finally let Kyle leave and I help him pack his bag and drive him to his house. We made a plan. When we got there, we were going to pack him a back. If his dad hit him or his brother hit him, he would grab the bag, climb out of his window and get about a block from his house then he'd call me and I would come pick him up. We agreed. We promised. I had expected to get a call before midnight.

What I hadn't expected was for him to call sobbing.

"Hello?"

"K-k-asidy," he stuttered.

"Yeah, baby? What happened? Why are you stuttering?" He didn't stutter unless he was crying really hard or close to a panic attack.

"I-I-it h-h-ha-appen-ned a-a-agai-i-in." I could barely understand him.

"Baby, where are you?" I asked, hoping my voice was calm and soothing even though I was planning murder as we spoke.

"F-f-for-r-rth a-a-an-nd Ava-a-anu-u-ue." Only two minutes away. One if I was speeding.

"Hey, calm down. Two minutes away. Breathe, in and out and- no. No, Kyle! No! KYLE!" He hung up. He hung fucking up. I press down the petal and am to the corner in 30 seconds. He's not there...but..I see red dots on the concrete. Fuck. I start running, following the trail, almost positive as to where he's going.

I was right, of course. Ky's predicable. He's at the park about two blocks from his house. He's sitting in the tunnel slide sobbing harder than I've ever heard him cry before.

I take a deep breathe and call out his name.

"Kyle? Kyle, baby, come out here."

"N-n-n-no. G-go awa-a-ay, K-k-Kasid-d-dy."

"Kyle, you know I won't do that. Come on, Kenny. Come out. I'm here, Momma's here." When we were little, people would pick on him and I always stood up for him so he started calling me Momma.

I hear the sound of plastic rubbing skin and know he's started to crawl out I the slide. He stops at the bottom of the slide and I see dried blood on his face and fresh blood on his arms. Without a thought, I wrap my arms around him and hugs him tightly, stroking his hair.

"Shhh, baby. I've got you. It's okay. Breathe. I won't let anyone hurt you ever again," I soothingly whisper, holding him close. He just sobs and sobs. "Hey, hey listen to me. We're gonna go to my house, okay? We're gonna go to my house and I'll keep you safe. Where's your bag?"

"U-und-der t-t-the b-b-b-ben-n-nch," he stutters, still crying so hard it's heart shattering. I grab his hand, lacing our fingers together, and walk to the bench, picking up the dark blue duffle bag with rainbow stickers that we had packed. I tug on his hand, directing him towards my car. We walk two blocks, him still sobbing, me still whispering soothing things.

I toss his bag in the backseat and buckle his seatbelt, wiping away a few more tears that are still slowly falling. As I start the car, Drown by Bring Me The Horizon begins to blast from my speakers, causing Kyle to jump slightly. I quickly reach up and turn the volume down- I guess I didn't notice how loud it was on the way over here. Oops.

"Do you want to drive around for a while?" I ask, knowing his answer already.

"Yeah, that would be great. I don't want your family to see me like this, I must look like a wreck," he mumbled.

So we drove and drove and eventually we weren't even in town anymore. We stopped at the cornfield and laid on the hood of my '79 Toyota. We looked at the stars and talked and laughed. It was like when we were younger. I rolled onto my side and looked at him, my sleeve sliding down reviling scabbed lines, around 30 from tonight alone.. I didn't notice at first. Then Kyle looked at me and saw them.

"Kas, what the hell?" He looked frightened.

"What?" I asked, pretending to be confused but not moving for fear of drawing attention to my wrist on the off chance he was talking about something else. He sat up and grabbed my arm.

Sadly he whispered, "why...?" And I looked down ashamed