Tears of Silence [Hetalia]

_Tears of Silence_

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I'll explain it through stories. True life story.

Our parents died when I was 11 years old. Brother Kham was 14 at that time. You can imagine how young my other siblings were at that time. I cried a lot that day, even though I had tried to hold back my tears. I glanced at brother Kham. He looks depressed, yet sad. He tries to smile and cheer us up, but I know he feels hurt too.

Seeing that, I start to wipe my tears out. I need to be strong, like a man! I need to follow my brother! That's what a young me said to himself.

Brother Kham cheers us and tells us that whatever happens, we need to stay at school. We all nodded in agreement and entered our rooms. Thank god, our parents left this house to us, we still have a shelter to keep us safe and sound.

But I glanced again before I entered my room. I saw brother Kham, sister Kirana, Alissa, and Maria discussing something which seems serious. Kham looks like begging at them. Kirana looks tired that I can see that feeling through her eyes, Alissa is protesting. I can see it from the look on her face. Maria looks empty, but I can see her mouth moving, saying something quietly. Right after it, I could see everybody seemed relieved and exhaled a long breath. Now, I'm really curious. Why don't they involve me in that discussion? I am old enough to know that.

They dismissed and are walking heading towards their room. Oh no! How if they know I have overheard their conversation? I enter my room fast.

I threw myself onto my bed and exhaled. I could die of this curiosity. All of this is slowly drowning me and my small brain is too small to accept this whole thing. I kept silent and I could hear Aran and Nguyen weeping. Next, Syukri and Jeanitha sniffling. I have stopped crying, but knowing that they were still younger than me when this happened makes my heartbreak. I can't hear Anirudh, but I'm sure he is crying silently. Such a poor boy.

Martha and Martio? I bet sister Kirana is now calming them with lullaby before sleep.

I want to enter one of their rooms and say, even only, goodnight.

But I'm too afraid to calm them down. I'm not like Kham who is warm and cheerful. I am not like Kirana who is caring and patient, not like Alissa who is tough, and not like Maria who knows what they want.

I am just one of their siblings, who doesn't interact closely with most of them, known as the smart one, workaholic, strict, and cold. I'm Ayolisious. I hope one day I could change so that they will see me as a different person.

Too tired of this problem, I fell asleep without me even realizing it.

The next morning, I woke up and did my morning routinity. I head toward the dining room, searching for breakfast. I look for them and I can't find either breakfast or my siblings.

That is weird. Sister Kirana will never be absent from cooking in the kitchen. And I will always see Alissa and Maria having some competition. I remember hearing the annoying fight of Anirudh and Aran, but this time I can't see or hear anyone here.

They leave me? Silently? Why?

I turned and started to search them all around the house. It turns out that they are gathering in the living room. I walk in, try to join them silently.

"Kyaaaaa! Ayolisious, you're surprising me. I thought a ghost was watching us, it turns out to be you. Here, come with your big sister..!"

I am surprised. Of course I should've known about it. Sister Maria. I don't think I surprised her, I was surprised by her sudden scream. And that's how every eye in that room is looking at me.

"No thanks, I would rather sit with Syukri" I told her. Of course I saw a bit of disappointment in her face, but I think it is better than ending up smashed by her powerful hug.

Syukri welcomed me with a smile on his face and let me sit beside him. I saw nobody has got their breakfast. It's already 9 in the morning and no one has got it?

I looked around the living room but I couldn't see any sign of Kirana and brother Kham there. I then saw sister Alissa instead, reading a book. Of course a novel. I looked to another side and saw Anirudh and Aran playing chess together, also sister Maria, Jeanitha, Martha and Marthio playing monopoly. They all smile. It looks like the same day as usual, although I remember yesterday was a long and heavy day.

I started to remove all thoughts and decided to ask Syukri instead.

"Syukri" I called.

"Yes brother?"

"Are you guys okay?"

"Yes..? Why do you ask, didn't we seem okay?"

I racked my brain, searching for the right reason.

"No, I mean, do y- you remember ye- yesterday?"

Ayolisious! Why are you so nervous?! He's only your little brother, and he's nice. I'm sure I look weird in his point of view.

"Ohh" he said, bowing his head.

I feel bad now, remembering him, but I am really curious.

"Haha, it's fine! Mourning didn't change anything, our life didn't end here. We could focus on the future and live a better life!" he answered confidently.

"At least that's what sister Maria said..." he muttered.

I assumed he wasn't really sure about that by hearing his mutter. I stop asking him. I should be happy if they were happy, not ruining their happiness. What I don't know is Alissa has been looking at me, I think she starts listening to us when Syukri laughs.

I try to avoid any eye contact with her. I glanced a bit at her, and I could see her sharp eyes with the book covering the rest of her face.

"Hey you"

Oh no. She realizes I have been seeing her from just now?

"Ayoooolisious, do you hear me?" she asked, starting to raise her voice.

Oh come on, I can't stand every word that falls out from her mouth if it's sarcasm. Hey, but this is Alissa, we're close, aren't we?

"Yes?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

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Enjoy reading~

And don't mind me U_U