The Tangerine to my Aubergine [DISCONTINUED]

Chapter 1 - Meeting your boss.

**Quick Disclaimer!**

In this story, you are Jack Kennedy. This story contains some strong language and mature humour (some dark humour too, it is based on a comedic horror) Enjoy reading!!

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You walk into Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. Looking around, you see children running around, laughing and being happy. Suddenly, a guy with a literal phone for a head walks up to you. "Hello! Welcome to the NEW and IMPROVED Freddy's! Well... Actually, it's not new. Or improved. Leave me alone, there's like 50 locations! They can't ALL be new!". He pauses for a second, then continues. "I mean.. uhh... Welcome to your new summer-job at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza!". You stand there awkwardly for a second and then respond with, "Pleasure to be here". "You're a natural liar! That's good! We need those!". 'I'm already slightly uncomfortable,' You say to yourself in your head. He then continues, "You're in the prize area right now. It's the closest room in the pizzeria to the entrance! Here you can swap tokens for prizes. We pay our workers exclusively in tokens here." You simply respond with, "Okay." Then he asks, "Would you like a small tour so you can see what there is to do here?" "Sure, why not?" You say. "Very well!" Your boss says in a jolly tone, "Follow me!"

You follow him into a large room with tables and chairs, and a stage. There are families sat at the tables enjoying their pizza. Although, some of the parents look slightly unsatisfied, you ignore it and listen to your boss as he starts talking again. "Welcome to the dining area! Here, you can serve pizza made in the kitchen, perform in a suit and give kids cake wearing a suit!". You nod, and he then takes you to the stage.

"This is the show stage! Here you can perform with the robots in your suit and help maintain the robots! We hope you're a good performer, heh! Bad ones aren't usually seen again, if you catch my drift...". You look at the robots and notice how tatty they look. Then you realise one of them is missing a face! You say, "Is that one.. missing a face?!". He looks at the bunny animatronic, then back to you, and says "Bonnie? Yeah, it should be around here somewhere. If you find it, put it back on the robot. Don't make a pizza with it like the last guy did." You try hard not to laugh, and he continues, "By the way, this is location #47, I think. It's somewhere in Colorado, but we have locations all throughout western-America!". He then pauses, and says, "Please don't bring up what happened to the customers in the location in Arizona. Please." You respond with, "My mouth be sealed, gov'na!". Then he takes you to the arcade.

"This is the arcade! Customers can play 'Breadbear', which is an arcade game designed by the company! If you win, you get tokens!". You nod, and he continues. "One of the games, 'Happiest Day', I think, is broken. If you feel like you can repair it, go pick up a wrench from the prize corner and fix it up!" Then he takes you to Pirate's Cove.

"This is the new and improved Pirate's Cove! We made it super kid friendly by adding a healthy salad bar!" You say, "Ooh! Can I have some salad?" Your boss' expression changes and you gulp. "No. Eating the salad is a firable offense. If you eat the salad, we WILL fire you!". You nod, slightly intimidated, as phone guy has a literal mood swing, changing back to happy, and takes you to the next place.

"This is the restroom corridor! It's where our restrooms are, obviously, you idiot. We also have a room here called our saferoom! It's a secret room at the end of the corridor that customers aren't allowed to enter, or see inside!" "Why is it hidden?" You ask. He responds with, "To give the suited workers some privacy to put on the costumes of course. And bleed. Lot's of bleeding." You give yourself a second to digest what he's just said, then realise the bleeding part. "Hang on a seco-" but he cuts you off and continues, "That room is where you suit up! Yeah, you gotta wear a mascot suit. Yeah, I left a tape.. Uhh... listen to it." You get excited and say "Which character is the suit? Freddy? Bonnie?! FOXY?!". Phone guy's mood changes swiftly again and he says sternly, "NO. We had to get rid of the Foxy one. Too many.. incidents...". He pauses for a second then continues. "See, we have two currently available. We used to have a bear suit and a rat suit, but those two were thrown in the bin for smelling like slaughtered toddlers. Anyway, we have two replacement suits! Don't.. question them... They were bought on short notice, so they may not be.. 100% appropriate...". You don't even bother answering and just let him take you to the next place.

The smell of pizza fills your nose as your boss starts talking again. "This is our kitchen! You can make cheap frozen pizza's here! The pizza's you make can then be delivered to the dining area! Make ACTUAL pizza, and I'll give you a few extra tokens!" 'Wow, that's pretty pog,' you think to yourself as you move on to the next room.

You enter a not particularly well lit and worn-down hallway. "This is the office hallway! There are two rooms here! To the right, is the security office. I'll show you inside there in a minute. There's also a locked room to the left of the security office. Go in there, and you're fired. We have something.. locked in there...". You think for a second then say, "Is it..." You glance around. "FREDBEAR?!" He sighs and responds, "Yeah.. it is... we can't let the public know he's still here.. bad publicity and whatnot... not after.. the incident... in reno...". You both stay silent for a couple of seconds, then phone man takes you into the security office. 

"This is the office! Before I hire you, I gotta ask you a few questions." You nod, and he continues. "Uhh, what's your name?" You respond with, "My name is Jack. Jack Kennedy." He continues. "Uhh, thanks for that. Uhh, any past in crime related activity?" You respond with, "Nah man, I'm as clean as.. a-a Freddy Fazbear!". He frowns slightly and says, "That's not awfully clean, actually. We'll be watching you closely, employee..". He pauses for a moment, then hands you a piece of paper. "You gotta sign this piece of paper. Nothing too intimidating, we all signed the paper." You respond with, "Sure thing!" and sign the piece of paper. Your boss then says, "You poor fool."

 You stand there awkwardly for a second, then phone man continues talking. "Now that the business stuff is over.. time to go over what you gotta do today. Your job is to wear one of our magnificent springlock suits and to entertain kids! Giving out cake and pizza gets you bonus tokens!" You get excited again and ask, "So I get to BE one of the characters?!" He responds with, "Yep! Isn't that neat? No strings attached! Just deadly springlocks... Also, you can only take that suit off in the saferoom! You wouldn't wanna ruin the magic for the kiddins! Never take the suit off outside that room! Especially under heavy blood loss." "Wait..." you say, but get cut off by your boss as he continues. "Anyway, you know the room is at the end of the bathroom hallway, so no further instruction is needed! Might wanna listen to the tapes, though.. Anyways, I'll see ya around, employee! And remember the company motto: Sweep it under the rug, it's probably fine!".

                                                         To be continued.