☦︎︎ 𝙉𝘾𝙏 𝙊𝙉𝙀𝙎𝙃𝙊𝙏𝙎 ☦︎︎

CHENJI - SCARS FROM A SOULMATE

🚫~ TW - SELFHARM ~🚫

"Dude, my leg hurts so bad. I think my soulmate got hit by a car or something!" says Lucas as he cradles his leg. He lifts his pant leg up to expose a huge scar running all the way down his knee, its colour still vibrant and new. "Look!"

The group peer over to look at Lucas' new scar. "You guys are so lucky your soulmate isn't always hurting themselves like mine," moaned Lucas as he looked at previous scars from his soulmates operations.

"I know," said Renjun smugly. "Well, we know. Jisung's in the same boat as me, right man?"

"Oh, yeah," says Jisung, rubbing his arm. He could feel the fresh bumps on his skin, 10 of them in fact, all parallel to each other. They were only done yesterday and they still stung as he touched them. Of course, they weren't done by him, but his soul mate.

He hadn't met them yet, but he worried about them greatly. Why were they hurting themselves like this? Did they not know that he could feel every scar they made? Every cut, every bruise, every burn. It hurt Jisung so badly, both mentally and physically.

Often times he couldn't sleep because of them. He would lay awake at night when he would feel that familiar sharp and stinging pain, this time in his leg. He would sit up and pull the leg of his shorts up exposing his inner thigh, as he watches a new scar form. This time it was deep, really deep, and purple too. Jisung's eyes begin to water and he scrunches his face up in pain as he feels another slash across his skin. And another. And another.

Jisung holds his leg, running his fingers over the new bumps that were still burning him. "Does this not hurt you?" he says through long streams of tears, begging that his soulmate can hear him. "Why do you do it!? Why do you hurt yourself!?"

Jisung was terrified for his soulmate. They had been doing this for years but recently it's been worse. The cuts more frequent and deep, and it didn't seem like his soulmate cared where they placed them anymore. Jisung knows they used to only cut in places that were easy to hide but now they've become more erratic, hurting themselves seemingly anywhere.

It made him worried. Was his soulmate going to hurt themselves to a point beyond return? And what did that mean for him? He felt so guilty that he knew about his soulmates habit but was powerless to stop them. He couldn't tell his friends either because it felt embarrassing, none of their soulmates did stuff like this.

"Wanna come round my house, guys? My mom just texted me and said she made brownies," said Renjun to the group of them.

"Can't," said Jeno, "Got a lesson like right now. So has Lucas."

"Oh yeah! I forgot about that!" laughed Lucas. The two walked off to their lesson.

"What about you guys? Nana? You like brownies."

"Hmm, yeah I'll come. But only for brownies."

"Chenle? Jisung? You two coming as well?"

The two exchanged looks before agreeing.

Chenle and Jisung were best friends and they had been ever since they were 5. They'd always done everything together and they just sort of understood each other without ever having to say anything. It was like they had this deep connection with one another, they could just look at each other and know what the other was thinking. They would tell each other everything.

However, there was some things that Jisung couldn't tell Chenle, one of them being that he had always been extremely envious of him. He had a perfect life! A rich family, a big house, lots of hobbies and other friends - the exact opposite to Jisung.

He was envious as well because of Chenle's soulmate; he had always said his soulmate had never given him a scar. Jisung thought it unfair. How was it fair that he had a broken and hurting person as his soulmate while his friends had perfect ones? How was it fair that his soulmate damaged both of their bodies while other soulmates daren't scratch their own skin in fear of hurting the other? He felt guilty for thinking like this. He wishes he could help them, truly, but sometimes he wishes he didn't have to carry the weight of knowing about this.

He needed advice about his soulmate and if there was one person Jisung wanted to ask for advice from, it would be Chenle. I mean, he would surely try and help him even though he couldn't relate.

The four of them sat in Renjun's bedroom eating his moms brownies.

"I'm going to the toilet, be right back," said Chenle, grabbing his phone and walking to the bathroom.

A few minutes go by.

"I'm gonna go toilet as well," said Jisung, leaving Renjun and Jaemin to eat brownies together.

Now was the perfect time to ask Chenle for advice without the others hearing.

As Jisung walks the long halls towards the bathroom he pauses as he feels that familiar stinging feeling. But this time its hurting a lot more than usual, burning him intensely, all across his left wrist. He clenches his fist in agony and quickly jumps into a spare bedroom to watch it develop. His eyes start stinging and watering at the sensation as he pulls his sleeve up to look at the scar.

It's different this time. He hesitantly reaches a finger down and touches it. "Blood?" he says as he rubs his fingers together, feeling the tiny droplets of red liquid in between his fingertips. He had never had blood come out of a scar before; he heard from Lucas that it only happens with fatal wounds, or at least very severe ones.

Jisung's hands began to tremble as he stared at the cut - it was like a small open wound, as if Jisung had done it himself. It made him feel strange looking at it. He cautiously placed his hand over the wound and applied pressure, feeling the heat seep through his fingers - he felt that maybe he could stop his soulmate from bleeding if he held tight enough.

After a few minutes he lifts his fingers up to see the bleeding has subsided. He carefully rolls his sleeve back down and heads towards the bathroom to talk to Chenle.

"Chenle?" he knocked on the door twice. "Are you taking a dump or something? You've been in there for ages."

No reply.

"Chenle?" he knocks again, louder. "Chenle." Jisung tries to open the door but it's locked.

Why is he not answering?

"Chenle!" He bangs on the door, frantically twisting the door handle in the hopes it would open.

Still no reply.

"CHENLE!" He bangs on the door again, but it's no use.

Somethings wrong. He knows it.

"CHENLE!!"

~

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💕hey everyone. if you are having troubles right now regarding harming yourself please speak to someone you trust. whether that's a parent, or a teacher, or a friend, or it could be someone on the internet. but please do speak to someone. things like this usually get worse if untreated.💕

💕I genuinely care for each and every one of you so much, please be kinder to yourself. i know things might seem tough right now but you're tougher than you look. you've got this. I'm so proud of you. You've already survived all of your days here, and that's something to be really proud of! i love u all so much, please please stay here a bit longer. :) xxx💕