Adamantine (A Post-Black Panther Bucky Barnes Love Story)

17

Michael and I are standing over the holographic war map. I frown as I watch the fighting slowly inch closer to the Wakandan borders.

"I'm going to go get some tea. Maybe speak with Bucky," I say after a moment. I give the ambassador a sharp look. "Do not leave this palace without me."

"Aye aye, captain," Michael salutes me. I nod and leave the room, hoping to be able to unwind a bit. This whole "approaching war" thing is stressing me out.

Walking, I find myself in a familiar hall. I stop when I notice a dent in one of the metal works of art that decorate the area. I tilt my head slightly, focusing on it and smoothing it over. I continue on my way until I hear footsteps behind me.

"What do you want, Steve?" I demand upon turning around and spotting the invader. The captain runs his hand down his face, letting out a heavy sigh.

"The same thing as always. To apologize."

"Apologies don't change the past. They don't fade scars. They're words, and I don't trust words," I stiffly inform him, clenching a fist ever so slightly.

"Please, Aurea." He goes to step forward but my icy glare stops him.

"You know what? Fine. Say your piece," I demand, fed up and frustrated with him constantly trying to seek me out. If I let him clear his conscience, he'll leave me alone. His jaw drops. "Don't get ahead of yourself. I don't give a damn about your peace of mind or soothed soul, but you're Bucky's best friend. And I do care about him. So you have exactly two minutes."

His shoulders drop a bit, but they quickly become confident again. He struggles to meet my eyes.

"I...Aurea, I know I screwed up. I know I betrayed you. I left you for dead when Hydra came after us, and I know that." My jaw tightens in irritation. Our eyes finally lock. "I've never been able to forget the way you looked at me as I left you behind. It haunts me, Aurea. I am so sorry.

"I can never forgive myself for that. I was always taught to never leave a man behind, but I did. I went against everything I believed in to save myself. It was selfish and pathetic. I know apologizing will change nothing, but..." He pauses and sighs, dropping his head. "I just want you to know how sorry I am and how much I regret that choice."

I stare him down, all while mentally battling myself.

"Alright," I finally say. I have to nearly spit the next words out, and I only do it for Bucky's sake. "I forgive you." His head snaps up in shock. "I forgive you, Steve, not your betrayal. That is not something I can ever forgive. But you as a person, fine. I'll forgive you for the sole reason that you mean a lot to Bucky. You're all he has left from the 40's, and I respect that you're his best friend. But Steve?"

He barely can manage to answer, "Yes?"

"You hurt him, and you're dead."

•••••

I sit comfortably in the library, sipping the green tea someone in the kitchens gave me. I can't help but think about Bucky. He makes me feel...odd. In a good way, of course, but still odd.

He makes me happy, and I can't remember the last time I was genuinely happy. I put aside my hatred of Steve because I knew it was in Bucky's best interest. I spend more time with Bucky than with even Michael. Just being in his presence brings me a sense of joy and peace I've never felt before.

I never saw myself as the type to be in a relationship. I ignored my heart all my life, squashing any type of romantic emotion. I put my job first- always.

But Bucky...it's impossible not to fall for him. Not when he's as broken as I am. Not when he has the most beautiful soul. Not when he is perfect for me in every way.

A tiny part of me feels guilty that I allowed myself to become distracted. But the rest of me screams that Bucky is worth it. And he is.