Until Forever

Part 2 - Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

 Myeongwhal Sanseong (Mountain Fortress)

Bidam had just finished briefing his forces and was now about to return to his quarters. As he slowly walked the path towards the Commander’s residence he looked up and saw the stars twinkling like diamonds on a velvet pallet. He found it strange that whenever he looked at the stars he always thought of Deokman.

He chuckled softly and corrected himself, Her Majesty, I should say, for isn’t it treason to call you by your given name? He shook his head and suppressed the sadness that was beginning to envelop him again.

I must be strong for us, Deokman. I have to see this through. This is the only way that we can truly be together. This is the only way that you could remain the Queen, only if I become the ruler of Silla.

Now as he sat at his writing desk, he took out the letter that he had received yesterday from Jukbang, its yellow silk envelope a clear indication of its origin. Her Majesty always used her trademark yellow silk envelope for her personal correspondence.

            Bidam held the envelope gently between his fingers and tried to resist reading its contents. Did you really send this to me, Deokman? Or is this another one of Her Majesty’s tricks, another one of your efforts to subdue me? But how could you send this now if you ordered my death only a few days ago?

The dying words of the Palace Guard that tried to assassinate him still rang inside his brain: Death to all traitors! Long live Her Majesty!

            At length, he took out the parchment and straightened it on his desk. In his frustration he had crumpled the letter the first time he read it. Fortunately, he did not have the strength to tear it up then. He looked at the words that were neatly written on the parchment. He knew that it was in Her Majesty’s own handwriting for he had spent countless hours watching her write her notes and letters. Back when we were just Deokman and Bidam, he mused.  Although he had already read the letter at least a dozen times, he still could not bring himself to accept it as true. Slowly, though he already knew its contents by heart, he read it again.

            “Bidam, I need to take care of things here in Seorabol. I will finish my obligations as a Sovereign. I will abdicate my throne thereafter and will come to you. Find a place where we can be together and wait for me there. Bear with me this one last time. We have to be apart for just a while but after this I would like to spend the rest of my life with you...No matter what happens, please wait for me. Deokman”

            Furiously, he wiped away the tears that unconsciously fell down his cheeks. How I wish these words were true. How I wish you had said this to me yourself so I could look into your eyes and see the truth in them. But how can I know the truth now? Do you really feel this much for me?

Bidam couldn’t help but remember the mocking words of Chun Chu ,“Did  you really think that Her Majesty has feelings for you?

And even the Queen’s own words, “Even if you really love me, my only love is Silla.”

If that were true, how can you say these things to me now? Can you really give up Silla for me, he thought.

            All these questions did nothing but to confuse him more; torn between his faith in Deokman and his mistrust for her role as the Queen Regnant. It felt like he was dealing with two separate persons every time he thought about their situation. He could sense the sincerity of Deokman’s feelings for him yet he couldn’t help but wonder if, due to political pressure, she was now acting as the Sovereign, if this was just another of her well-thought out schemes.

But if she’s already willing to give up the throne how can she gain from this politically? Or is this just another trick?  A desperate effort to keep me in line, by giving me false hopes?

In frustration, he thrust the letter aside and stood up. He felt that he would go out of his mind if he kept on scrutinizing her motives.

Santak, where are you? I need to know the truth now!

            Looking out the window, he caught a glimpse of a single shining star. He stared at it and asked himself, did I really make the right decision? Was I right in thinking that it was you who first betrayed our covenant? Deokman, did you ever really love me at all?

            And just as he stared at the star, it seemed to burst out in flames and without warning plummetted to earth. It was then that Yeomjong came rushing into the room, breathlessly calling out his name.

            “Lord Bidam! My Lord! Did you see it? Did you see the falling star? It fell towards Wyolseong Castle!” he cried.

            “Yes, I had just seen it.” Bidam answered.

            “It is a sign, My Lord! It was the Queen’s star that fell down from the skies!” Yeomjong said.

Bidam was startled by his statement. What could that mean? Is this the answer to my question? Was Her Majesty really fated to lose this battle? So, is this a confirmation from the heavens?

            “My Lord, you must address our troops! Take advantage of this! You must assure them that this is a sign that the heavens look favourably on our cause!”

            Bidam was encouraged by Yeomjong’s words. He, himself, also felt that it was a sign from the heavens. There is still hope for us, Deokman. After I am crowned King, I will marry you and you will finally be my Queen!

            “Yes, this indeed is a blessing from the heavens. Come let us address our people. A new Kingdom is at hand!” he said to Yeomjong.

It will soon be over, Deokman.

            Yeomjong ran ahead of him and gathered the troops in the courtyard. Bidam took Deokman’s letter, folded it and tucked it inside his tunic.

I must see this through. This is the only way we can be together.

He took a deep breath and hurriedly left the room. Following Yeomjong’s lead, the troops started cheering when Bidam entered the courtyard. Shouts of “Long Live Lord Bidam”together with the clang of swords and spears perpetrated the air. Bidam raised his hand to appeal for silence.

            “Our Heavenly Kingdom is distressed. She is weeping because of an incompetent leader. We have been repeatedly defeated in war and are continuously ridiculed by other nations. They look down on us because our leader is incapable. We can no longer watch from the sidelines.” he paused as shouts of “Yea” reverberated around the courtyard.

            “We must put an end to all these! We must remove the Queen from the throne!” he cried as more shouts of agreement came from the crowd.

            “We must establish a new kingdom! A kingdom that is strong! A kingdom that will be respected by every nation! A kingdom that is led by a powerful King!” he cried. “Even the heavens have decreed the birth of our new Kingdom! The Queen’s star has fallen! The end of her reign is at hand!”

            The troops screamed their assent and started chanting “Long Live Lord Bidam”. Bidam was overcome by their support and raised both arms in triumph.

I will be the Silla that you love! And you, Deokman, will finally give me your undying devotion.