Second-Guessing

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"Catra, stop!" She-Ra cried, obliterating another tank.

"No," I snarled, leaping towards her. I swept her off her feet in one motion. In a second, I was standing on her, claws poised to rip and tear.

"Catra, please..." She-Ra said weakly, and for a second, her eyes lost her glow, and she looked like Adora again. My best friend. "I don't want to hurt you." And then she was She-Ra again. My enemy.

I stumbled backward off of her, my mind whirling. "What happened to you?" I asked sadly. "We were best friends. You traded me out for them," I spat, pointing a claw at a man shooting bows in a blur of motion, and a bunch of sparkles with a human being attached. You had known them for only two hours. How could you? How could you leave the Horde behind?" A tear falls, but I quickly brush it away, but I can't stop my voice from breaking. "How could you leave me?"

"C-Catra, I offered you the chance to come with me..." Adora began, but I raised my voice, drowning her out.

"It doesn't matter!" I yelled, and she stared at me, stunned. "How could I accept? It was just a cruel joke!" I dug my claws into the side of a tank, hoping I'd leave marks. Why couldn't I hit She-Ra? "I was the best friend," I panted, "That you didn't care enough to ask." I feel hot tears beginning to pour down my cheeks. "I was the friend, that wasn't good enough for you!" I rip out a piece of the tank and fling it at her. She deflects it with her sword.

I look around me, realizing that our battalion meant to capture a rebellion-protected town has been defeated. They've all fled like cowards. "Get out of here," I snarl. "Just leave me behind, like you did last time!"

"Catra, wait!" She-Ra cries, reaching out, but I leap away. I turn back to her and hiss, "What's the matter? You didn't seem to have a problem before!"

And then I'm gone. I can only imagine what Shadow Weaver will do to me, but I don't care. This is the second time I've had a confrontation with her after Faymore, and I still can't strike her. I imagine her helping her new friends rebuild the town, and my blood boils. I wipe away the tears and stare at my claws. Next time I won't hesitate.

***********

I fall to my knees, burying my face in my hands. Hot tears trickle down my cheeks, and I feel myself shrink back into Adora, just plain Adora who can't use a magical sword to blow up things. Just Adora, the bad friend. I'm a bad friend.

Bow and Glimmer rest their hands on my shoulders. "It's okay," Glimmer says softly, and I draw a bit of strength from her quiet confidence.

"Yeah!" Bow pipes up, his voice as loud as ever. "We got your back. We're the best friend squad, remember?"

I smile through my tears, even as my heart splinters and breaks all over again. "Yeah," I say in a shaky voice as Glimmer helps me to my feet. "We're the best friend squad."

***********

I'm alone in my room. The room feels big and empty without Catra and my friends around, and the thought pushes me to the edge. Alone in that big room, I let out a tear-choked sob, burying my face in my pillow. The pillow quickly becomes soaked with tears. "What if I made a mistake!?" I shout. I wish Shadow Weaver was here. She'd know what to do. I wish Catra was here. I miss her beautiful eyes and that amazing laugh. I miss her so, so, much. "What if I was wrong?" I choke out through my tears. "What if I don't belong here?"

"You do," someone says quietly, and I jump up, quickly brushing away my tears, my heart beating feverishly fast.

I recognize the voice immediately. "Oh, hi, Glimmer," I say, not meeting her eyes, hoping she doesn't see how red and puffy they are from crying. "I was just, uhh cleaning my room. I was wondering if maybe I should've stuck with the old bed."

I gasp as she hugs me, and after getting over my shock, I hug her back tightly, and I know she can feel my racing heartbeat. "I miss her," I choke out, and I know she understands who I'm talking about. "I agreed so readily, but I didn't realize what it meant until now. I'm fighting her, Glimmer. I don't know if I can do this."

"It's gonna be okay," she says firmly. "You can do this. We're going to defeat the Horde, and stop Catra from hurting anyone else."

"No," I say quietly, turning away from her to stare out the balcony at Brightmoon. "I won't hurt Catra. There has to be another way. She's good, I know it. She's not a bad person, she'll come. All I have to do is explain."

"Are you sure?" Glimmer says quietly. "She's already said no. What makes you think she'll change her mind?"

"Because we're best friends," I say, and I'm surprised at how confident my voice sounds, and it draw myself up and turn back to Glimmer. "She has to."

A/N: Hi! This is something I've been wanting to do for a while. From here, it'll replay the events of Faymore and the episode, "Promise," and then it'll be mostly Catra-based. I'm really excited to try this, they're kind of like one-shots I guess, but not very... happy. I love Catra so much, and I'm really excited! Thanks so much for reading! If you like this chapter, please consider giving it a vote! Have a great day!

Thanks, a geek.

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