Take me Home Country Roads (Formally Unbreak My Heart)

Chapter Fifteen: A Change of Scenary

We decide that Lizzy and Jesse will move in with us. There is a small room in the attic where Jesse will stay, and Lizzy will sleep in my room in a small bed that we sat up in the sitting area of the master that we will share.
I am super excited to see where this will take us in life. Jesse has just finished moving his stuff from the farm hand quarters to the house. We help him move all of his stuff up to the attic. He slowly puts everything away in the built-in shelves.
Daddy had the best idea when he decided to put those in. I guess he remembered when I was the rebellious teenager who wanted to get away from it all. I hated everyone and didn’t want to be around anyone.
Mostly because I knew they were right when they would tell me that my boyfriend was a piece of shit. I never really had a good track record when it came to boys. Even the first couple of weeklong relationships I had weren’t worth it.
I smile when daddy told me my attitude was bigger than the house and he didn’t want to see me either. He went to my room and hauled every bit of my stuff to the attic and told me to take my ass up there and not come down till my attitude changed.
That was the only time I truly remember my dad being mean to me or my brother. He has always had a cool exterior with us kids. I have a feeling he held a lot in. I mean we were semi mischievous and did some stupid stuff.
He never really got mad though. I remember one time when he got upset, he picked up his jacket and ran out the door like he was leaving. Ten minutes later I looked out the window and he was sitting in his truck.
I walked out tapped on the window. I startled the shit out of him as he rocked to his loud music. He opened the door pulled me close to him and we danced to Butterfly Kisses as it blasted through the speakers of the truck.
As soon as the song ended, we got back in the truck and we talked it out. He never yelled I never yelled. It was calm as can be. We had a great childhood and very few times did they yell at us or actually strictly discipline us.
My memories are interrupted when Jesse comes up behind me and hugs me. He wraps his large strong arms around me, and I smile and coil into his body. Loving the warmth and safety it provides.
“I hope this will be okay for you.” I say as he kisses my bare shoulder where the tank doesn’t cover.
“It’s better than where I was living, not that I’m not appreciative because I am and always have been, but it is way better than the quarters.” He smiles.
“Daddy, I want to put my room together where is my stuff?” Lizzy asks excitedly.
“Well sweet girl I only grabbed a small bag of things while I was there today you will have to get the rest another time.” Jesse sighs.
“Okay Daddy.” Lizzy sighs sadly with a little frown upon her face.
“I’m sorry sweet girl but they didn’t really want me there.” Jesse states.
“I know, they didn’t want me there either.” She sobs.
“I’m sorry sweet girl, just know you are wanted here more than you will ever know.” Jason says hugging Lizzy up tightly in his big arms.
“I love you Uncle Jay.” Lizzy says kissing his cheek hugging him back.
“Lets go find some of Gracie’s old toys that you can put in there for now.” Jake says as he pops out of nowhere.
“we still have my old toys?” I ask
“You bet we do; mom couldn’t bring herself to get rid of any of it.” Jake chuckles.
We drive to an old shed in the back forty and hop out of the truck. Jake swings the doors wide open and sucks a cloud of dust with them. Lizzy and I begin to look around and find several dolls still in the packaging along with a giant doll house.
Funny how your family never really knows you. My aunts and uncles bought me these things for birthdays and Christmas’s. After I turned four and Jake and I fed my dolls to the dog mom and dad stopped buying them for me.
So, in return mom and dad always just put the dolls and girly stuff up that the family bought. They could have made a fortune just selling the stuff, but mom insisted maybe someday my daughter would want it.
Lizzy digs through the shed and finds thing after thing that she decides she is taking. Jesse tries to stop her. I shake my head and smile. “Someone might as well use this stuff, I never did.” I giggle.
“But don’t you want to save it for your own daughter?” Jesse asks.
“The way I see it, she is close to my own child as I will ever get.” I sigh
“Shit babe, I totally forgot.” Jesse says hugging me tight watching my reaction.
I smile and watch Lizzy squeal with happiness as she continues to dig through the shed. She finally decides on a baby play set with a highchair, bed, car seat and a swing. Two dolls and the giant doll house that comes with dolls. 
We close the doors back up and head back to the house. As we get to the door Jake pulls Lizzy into the kitchen digging through the drawers finding the tools that were needed. They head to the master bedroom to put the dollhouse together.
“Thank you for letting her have that stuff.” Jesse sighs.
“The real reason I didn’t bring anything is because everything she owned is gone.” He states.
“The only thing they had for her was the small amount of clothes that were in the bag.” Jesse says running his hands through his hair.
“You can’t be serious.” I hiss
“I am dead serious; I would like to know where the hell it all went because I had just bought her a bunch of new clothes and some new toys a few weeks ago.” Jesse seethes
“Maybe you should call Sietta and find out, maybe she packed it all up when she decided to have her move here.” I mention
“I guess I should do that.” Jesse concedes
He pulls out his phone and dials her number. It rings several times before she finally answers the phone breathlessly “This better be important for you to interrupt the best sex of my life.” Sietta says without knowing who it is.
“Well, I just really need to know where I can get the rest of Lizzy’s belongings?” Jesse informs a pissed off Sietta.
“Well, you can go and buy them back from the thrift store we donated them to two weeks ago when she refused to clean her room.” Sietta says pointedly.
“You what?” Jesse shouts.
“She refused to clean her room so everything that was left on the floor we took to the thrift store.” Sietta says
“She should have cleaned the shit up.” She states
“she is a small child, they are defiant.” Jesse states.
“How could you do that?” He sears at her.
“I was tired of asking her and her not doing it.” Sietta states.
“She needs to grow up and do what she is asked.” She barks
“No, she doesn’t that is part of the problem you don’t think she should be a child.” Jesse retorts
“Children need to be responsible.” She yells
“You are and have always been too soft on her.” Sietta screams
“Someone has to be, you fucking want her to be a damn robot or the perfect being hell I don’t even know what the hell you want her to be, but it isn’t a child.” Jesse shouts.
Just as he finishes the last sentence the door opens, and Lizzy comes running down the stairs crying. I look up and see Jake hot on her trail. “Lizzy sweetheart everything is okay” Jake says calmly trying to catch Lizzy.
She runs and jumps into my lap placing her head in my chest and hugging me tightly. “She heard Jesse yell and she got upset.” Jake explains. “She thinks he is going to make her move away too.”
Jesse hears this and he sighs deeply into the phone. “I have to go, and I honestly don’t think you should come this Saturday.” Jesse states.
“We are going to have to go replace all of her belongings, so I guess we will see you next Saturday at noon. Jesses finishes and then hangs up the phone.
Jesse comes over and squats down. He tries to pry a still crying Lizzy from my arms to hold her. “Baby girl.” He says quietly. “I’m sorry if I scared you.” He looks as though he is about to cry himself.
“Where am I going now daddy.” Lizzy’s muffled voice comes out from the depths of my soggy shirt.
“You’re not going anywhere; you are here to stay baby girl.” Jesse sweetly sighs
“Are you sure?” She sobs
“Without a doubt.” Jesse says as he picks her up and hugs her.
“I was just on the phone with mommy trying to find out where all your stuff went, and she upset me.” Jesse explains.
“I shouldn’t have yelled but, I will never send you away.” He reassures her.
“What do you say you show me what your room looks like.” Jesse says carrying her to our room.
They go to our room and there is a twin sized bed and the toys arranged around the large area which once held a chair and a couch. It looks rather cute.
The room was already equipped with shutter type door to separate the two areas so there was no extra work there. Everything came together nicely, and her room was finally finished not that it looked much like a child’s room.
The boys take Lizzy to the barn to help them with some last-minute things they needed to do. While they were gone Jesse and I talked.
“Would you mind if I painted that room for her?” I ask not wanting to step on any toes
“You would do that for her?” Jesse asks
“Well yeah, its kind of a drab space right now.” I say
“I really want her to be happy and feel at home in her room.” I explain.
“Thank you!” Jesse exclaims.
“She will love it whatever color you pick.” He says
“How about we take her to the hardware store and let her pick it out herself?” I ask
“What if we don’t approve?” Jesse asks
“Then we don’t have to look at it.” I giggle
“That is what they made doors for.” I smile
“Thank you.” Jesse says as he smiles and pulls me into a hug.
“So, it is settled when they get back, we will take her to the hardware store and get her paint” I squeal
“I guess so but, don’t tell her what its for we should surprise her.” He states.
“She has always just had the same white walls since she was born.” Jesse says
“She never even was allowed cute decorations.” Jesse states
“That is terrible.” I state.
“I have an idea.” I chime
“Oh yeah babe, what’s that?” Jesse asks
“Well, they have all sorts of little decals and stuff.” I start
“I saw them the other day when I was looking for lightbulbs, maybe we should go pick some up and let her go a little crazy.” I smile
“If that is what you want.” Jesse hesitates.
“I may never get the chance again to give a little girl her dream room…this would make me happy.” I tear up.
“Let’s make a run to the store while she is busy then we can go to the hardware store when she gets back.” I say all giddy.
“Are you sure this is for her and not you?” Jesse asks
“Oh, it’s mostly for her but a little for me as well.” I state.
“I just can’t wait to see her face once she realizes what we are doing.” I laugh
“She will be excited that’s for sure.” Jesse smiles
We hop in the truck. I call Jake up and let him know that we are going to run to the store. As we pull in the parking lot, we spot Sietta and Carson getting out of his car. Jesse looks at me with a curious look.
“Are we staying, or do you want to come back later?” he asks.
“We are staying.” I calmly state.
“Okay, then lets go.” Jesse says
He gets out of the truck comes around to my side and grabs my hand. He helps me out of truck, and we head into the store. We head straight to where I saw the little decals.
I begin to look at them and come across some little butterfly and heart mirrors.  Then there is a little crown set and one that says a princess lives here. Just as I pick them up and put them in the cart Sietta and Carson come around the corner.
At first, I think it’s going to be okay. They walk down the isle and we are just about through. I stop and pick up some pretty rainbow butterflies and place them in the cart.
Sietta looks in the cart and smiles. I’m guessing she knows what we are up to. As she walks by, she pats my hand and mouths “Thank you”. Just as we passed by them Carson turns around and says something.
At first it does not register. Then something clicks and I really think about what the hell he just said.
“That’s right spoil her rotten because you will never have children of your own.” Carson spits “I made sure of that.”
Jesse grabs my hand and pushes the cart out of the isle. We hurry to the front of the store pay for the decals we have. We hurry to the truck. I jump in and attempt to slam the door.
Jesse catches it and grabs my hands. Soothing his hands over my knuckles. Kissing my cheeks, he cups his hands on my face and kisses me. “We will have a baby sweetheart; you will be the best mommy to Lizzy and to every baby we have.” Jesse states.
“I can’t give you a baby.” I sob
“We will have one, one way or another.” Jesse states.
“If you say so.” I sigh
“Well, I do so just deal with it baby girl, let’s get home.” Jesse smiles
I get buckled up and Jesse closes the door. He walks around to his side and hops in. The truck roars to life as he turns the key in the ignition. He goes to pull out when an angry Sietta comes running out of the store.
She comes running to the truck crying. I open the door and hop down out of the truck. She runs to me and I open up my arms and pull her in. Jesse is down out of the truck and stands between us and a seething Carson.
Carson comes rushing at us. Jesse steps up to him and stops him in his tracks. He is angrier than I ever seen him. I’m not entirely sure what happened but it must have been bad.
Jesse stands in front of Carson. He is trying his best to hold him back. At one point I think Carson is going to break free. Then an onlooker who was watching come over and pulls out a pair of cuffs and slaps them on Carson.
He pins him to the ground and calls for backup. Turns out he was an off-duty cop. He asks what happened as Carson calms down. He states that Sietta had told that he was an awful person for treating me like he did and for saying those terrible things in the store.
He then told her that had I cared that I wouldn’t have ruined my chances of having a baby and that we would still be together and there would be no him and Sietta. So, she got angry and stormed away from him.
One of the first things I learned while I was with him was not to storm away. That pissed him off more than anything. Number two was not to disagree with his actions toward someone he felt did him wrong.
He apparently had threatened to beat her when they got home for going against him and storming off. The cop comes up to her and asks for her side of the story and she gives it to him. He asks her if she wants to get a restraining order. That is about all he can do since nothing actually happened.
She looks at me sheepishly and shakes her head no. The cop releases him. He does his sweet caring boyfriend act. The cops stand there for a few minutes before letting them leave. He helps her into the car whispering in her ear.
Probably something along the lines of you’re going to get it when we get home. Or when we get home you are done for no one gets me into trouble and gets away with it.
I am brought out of my thoughts when the cops come up to us and ask for our statements. They ask how we know them. I explain that Carson is my ex and Sietta is Jesse’s ex. He gives us a bemused look.
I then tell him what I think will happen when they get home from my experience with him. I ask them to go and check on her worried of what he might do. He states that there is nothing they can do at this point unless someone calls them back out.
He then dismisses us, and we get in the truck and drive home. I sit there debating on if I should call the cops and tell them I heard yelling and terrible sounds. Then I decide against it.
I’m pretty sure that it would have made him madder and caused things to be worse for her. So, I block it out of my head and worry about the task that is about to come. I am praying this makes Lizzy a little bit more comfortable and make her feel like she belongs.
We pull up just as they are making their way back to the house. I pull Jake aside and ask him to ask the boys help him and take everything out of her room and tape it up and put some plastic down on the floor.
“Sure, we can do that.” He says
“Did you buy tape and plastic?” He ask
“No, I saw some in the shed the other day.” I say pointing to the shed that it was in.
“Okay, keep her busy for a little while We will do it as quick as we can.” Jake smiles.\
“You know you are going to make a great mommy someday and I know you have been told you can’t have kids but, I have faith that you will have kids someday.” Jake says kissing my cheek.
“Jesse told me that he knows we will have kids someday, but I have only been told that it wont happen for me.” I explain.
“Well get a second opinion because there is no way that God made you the way you are and then made you so that you can’t have kids.” Jake states
“That would be the cruelest joke ever.” He sighs.
“I agree but I’m not even going to bother worrying about it right now, hell we aren’t even having sex yet.” I sigh
“Well, I didn’t need to know that, but I have faith that you will get your baby” He mumbles
I smile and walk out the door. I look around for Lizzy and Jesse and realize that they are already in the truck. I smile when she opens the window and screams come on “mommy”. My heart spills over with joy.
Even if I never have a kid of own…I will be fine as long as I have her. I jump up in the truck and she gives me a hug and kiss. I missed you guys. I love you mommy and daddy.
I give Jesse a look asking him if he is ok with Lizzy calling me mommy. I know I am, and it fills my heart, but I don’t want to step on any toes.
“Daddy said it was okay to call you mommy if it was okay with you.” Lizzy states.
“You know that I am your step mommy and I have no intentions of taking your mommy’s place, right?” I ask.
“Yeah, you my bonus mommy.” She smiles
“That’s right you are a very blessed little lady, you get more than one mommy.” Jesse smiles
“Yeah, and I got an extra daddy, but I don’t like him much.”
“And that’s okay.” I state.
We pull up to the hardware store and I help Lizzy out. We hold hands and walk up to the building we walk to the paint isle. She starts looking around telling me how beautiful the colors are and how she wishes that she could get some paint.
I giggle. We pretend to walk away. I then squat down and say… “how would you like to pick out your favorite color for a project?” I ask
“really I get pick out the color?” She asks excitedly
“You sure do.” Jesse laughs.
“Well, I can’t decide which I like more.” She says holding up a light blue and a pink.
“How about we get both.” I say.
“really?” She questions
“Yes, ma’am and we also need to pick out a few other things.” I say as I pull her to the lighting area.
“Pick out the light you like the most.” I instruct her.
She looks around for what feels like hours then comes up with one that looks like raindrops flowing from the fixture. It is absolutely perfect. We go and pay then head to the truck. Instead of going home I have Jesse go to a home furnishing store.
There we buy a new blanket set and a canopy for her bed as well. Just as we are paying Jake text me to tell me that they are finished. He tells me there are plenty of paint supplies. I put my phone away and pay for her new stuff.
We pile back in the truck and head home. We get there and we head into the house and she goes running to her room. “Mommy.” She yells confused and sad.
I go running in not thinking about the fact that we didn’t tell her what was happening. I kneel down in front of her. “you remember all the paint and things we just bought?” I ask.
“Yes.” She sobs
“It was so that we could paint this room and decorate it special for you.” I explain.
“In order to do that the boys had to move your stuff out.” I state
“I promise it will all come back in we just need it out until we paint, and it dries.” I say.
“Otay.” She sighs and wipes her cheeks.
We bring in the paint and the boys get to work painting the room just the way she wants it. It really does look amazing. We wait a couple of hours and once it is dried the boys hang the light.
Lizzy and I put on the decals that we purchased. She smiles becoming more excited as we go. Once everything is done the boys bring in all of her stuff and put it where she wants it.
Jake found an old pink and blue dresser that I used as a kid and brought it in for her to use. It matches the room perfectly. We sit everything up and place the few clothes she has in the dresser.  We are definitely going to have to get her more stuff soon.
She is more excited than I have seen her. Her room looks like a little princess room and I couldn’t be happier with the way it turned out. Her make it worth everything that happened today.