Under the Rain

To endings and rainbows

And when it rains on your parade, look up rather than down. Without the rain, there would be no rainbow.

- Gilbert K. Chesterton

THE BITTERSWEET FEELING of tying it all in a knot, just as how Marianne's stomach squirms back at her. She tightens her grip on her bouquet of flowers as the cathedral draws open to welcome her. On cue, flower petals floated in front of her. A music march on her procession towards the red carpet that lays ahead of her.

She scans the people that anticipate her entrance. Some are smiling, while some are shedding a tear. A pair of eyes had her gaze captivated. The only pair of eyes that seems to be in a deep vast of nostalgia. A pair of eyes that has been always a mystery for her. The boy in raven black eyes, Elizer. His gaze drowns her afloat back to memory lane...

REACHING OUT for the umbrella in her canvas bag, Marianne flexed her back shoulder muscle to relieve her aching back. She looked back at the old building she comes from as she step forward on the wet pavement due to the heavy rainfall their town is experiencing for a couple of days now.

"At last! Last day, last class!" she can hear the cheer of her fellow classmate.

All the hard work pays off in the end. The endless overnight works for thesis. The panel discussions seem too hard to pass. She smiled and thought, Graduating, at last.

"Yo, Marianne girl!"

She looks towards where the voice is coming from. It was Justin. Her usual big brother and best friend rolled into one. "Hey, biggie!"

"Have you seen, Elizer? He wasn't in the class today."

She nodded. "Their chauffer fetched him last night. I haven't heard anything from him since then."

Justin gave her a prying look and intentionally bumped his umbrella towards hers that sprinkles droplets of rain on her face.

"Hey!" She returns his gesture harder than he did which gives him a drizzle of rainshower on him. They both laughed at their silliness. "And don't give me that look. You're the only one who can decipher his thoughts."

She gave him an annoyed look.

"Okay. The mind-reader is now heading on the master's house to speculate." He answered her with a smug face. "Do you want me to relay a message?"

She shakes her head. "I'll just meet you there. I will just change into something decent then head straight there."

He gave her a once-over look. "A shower will do."

She grimaced.

"Just kidding. Do you want me to wait for you?" Justin matched her long strides. They are now a few yards away from her dorms' entrance building.

"Nope." She beamed him a smile. "I'll see you there."

Justin gave her a thumbs up before he went the opposite way. She was about to protest and change her mind in declining Justin's offer, but he has already turned his back at her. She let out a shaky breath.

From where she is standing, she could see a dark figure sitting on the pavement in front of her dorm's building. The dark figure is wearing a hooded sweater and is dripping wet because of the heavy rain. From her view, she initially guessed that it was a man dozing off amidst the heavy rain. But then, it changes position and was cradling its face with both hands.

She slowed her stances and studied the figure from a distance. The figure must have sensed her presence and maneuvered towards her. Recognition in eyes as he stood up. She let out a sigh of relief.

"Elizer!" she rushes beside him, offering her umbrella. "You are soaking wet. What's wrong?"

She felt his cold, wet hands when he reached for her cheeks.

"I am leaving."

"Your hand's cold. What came into you? It's raining hard, can't you see? You didn't even bring an umbrella."

"Marianne..."

She fakes an innocent look to cover her shock with his news. "What?"

"I am leaving."

She holds her breath and meets his eyes, "What do you mean you are leaving?"

He smiled sadly. "My visa has been approved."

Her eyes widened in disbelief but felt happy for him. "Isn't that good news?"

"We are all leaving."

She nodded. "When?" she asked as she looked down at her trembling hands.

"A week from now."

She is not going to let this news break her. She gathers herself up and looks at him. She smiled but it is his turn to look away.

"Okay. If you are worried about me, don't. I'm good at waiting remember?" she reaches for his face and tried to lock his gaze. She is sensing there is more than what he is saying.

She waited.

"There's more..."

"I know. I can sense it." She stated and offered him to hold the umbrella. She scans her canvas bag for something to wipe his wet face to busy her mind away from her negative feeling.

"I am leaving you..."

Her hand froze a few inches from his face and dropped the tissue from her grasp. "Me?"

"I don't want you to wait."

Emotions flood her. Confusion, sadness, hope, disbelief, anger. He is breaking up with me again? Again?! Aren't we over this stage? "Why?"

"We are moving for good. All of us."

"So?" confusion was written in her face. She still can't understand why he doesn't want her to wait.

"We are not coming back." A glimpse of pain and indecision is written in Elizer's face.

"So?"

"I don't want you to wait," Elizer repeated in a firm voice.

Realization came to her and from the emotions that flood her, she settled for anger. How could he? Why? She asked herself.

Nine years of being together, well, there are few separations in between those years but she held on to him. She waited for him. She fights for him. She is always there ready to welcome him. Nine years and all he could give him was always uncertainty?

"Marianne—"

"I will not wait for you," she snapped.

Glad she finally found her voice to speak up after her inward lamentations. She has to save her pride. That's all left for her. She has to keep herself intact. She will not cry in front of him. She will not whine.

"Goodbye, Elizer." She stated and left him under the rain as she walks towards the entrance of her dorm. She rubs her eyes frequently to dismiss her tears. "You are not worth it. He is not worth it."

LOOKING BACK now, it seems so new and old at the same time. If that was ever possible. And looking at him now as she walks the aisle it felt so overwhelming. Here he is now after ten long years of being away.

She steps closer and smiled. She thought, It could have been you.

A man behind Elizer taps him and smiled at him before facing Marianne. Elizer steps back after giving her an apologetic smile. He mouthed, "You are beautiful."

She beamed him a smile before she looks towards the man waiting for her. "Hey, biggie!"

"Are we ready?"

She nodded. "We are."

She took Justin's hand as he leads her into the altar. As he leads her into their future.

- END -