i've never found myself weird. or different.
i think of myself as simple.
goal oriented.
i remind myself that it's okay;
to look into my eyes in the mirror
and feel myself completely shatter.
i remind myself that it's normal to feel the occasional self-hatred.
as much as i hated the idea of it, when i accepted the job offer i knew all eyes would be on me.
not like they haven't been for the past 9 years.
but that doesn't mean i have to enjoy all the attention.
my mother passed when i was 14.
my father overdosed the month after.
since then, i've thrown myself into psychological studies;
desperately trying to figure out why he did it.
why he would leave me all alone.
ever since then, i've thought of jobs that could help prevent people from feeling the same pain i've felt.
as cliché as it is, i got a job invitation right as i finished law school.
of course i accepted it.
and today was my first day.
my alarm clock went off, though it didn't have any effect on me since i've been up overthinking all night.
i tend to do that a lot; overthink.
i can't really prevent it,
it's just the way i am.
i had an hour and 45 minutes to decide what i was going to wear, eat, and which shoes would match my decided outfit.
today i will wear my white button down.
with black and white plaid pants.
they were my favorite because they were high waisted.
my circular glasses, because they matched better than my other pair.
i put on white frilly socks and my brown oxfords and my matching leather satchel bag.
i called a taxi once i had made my way outside, admiring the warm peach sky.
"Quantico, please."
i told the driver as I handed him my money.
he put the address into his gps and pressed his foot against the pedal.
rather quickly, we arrived to the arrangements of buildings, showing my ID to the security.
My shoes lightly tapped against the flooring as i made my way over to the elevator. i pressed the floor number.
i never liked elevators
the way they shook a bit always startled me
the chamber came to a quick stop before the door opened.
a work in progress.
YOU ARE READING
fragile //s.r//
Fanfictioni long for a love that doesn't exist, or at least one that i can't find yet. the books i've read a thousand times still sit in my bookcase, and i've finally grown old of them. so i sit here, waiting for somebody to care for me. waiting for somebody...
