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Sweetest Instrument
Why you would make a person to be the right one than pray to God to give you one.
What if he gave you, and yet you don’t even notice.
"Yo, Marc congrats tol!" I only nod as a response because I'm busy practicing with my drums.
The fact that I don't know how would I deliver my preach, because it will lead me to reminisce something I regretted the most.
"Sige Tol, God Bless." my church mate at the same time a close a friend and leader said a good bye.
At this moment, I realized why mistakes will make you to become a better person, because it will always lead you to know God deeper.
Masakit ang lahat ng kapalit, but the fact that I know him more, it lessen my pain.
YEARS AGO.
" Marc, hotchick pare."
"Gandaaa."
"Akin yan." I mouthed.
My friends laughed at me. " Hindi mo pa nga na popormahan sayo na agad."
"Watch and learn, mga mahihinang nilalang." I stood up and go to this beautiful girl direction. While walking my mind keeps on making some excuses to have an interaction with her.
I saw a handkerchief on the floor that maybe her belongings.
"Hi, is this your?" by that time I smiled and look at her eyes, one way to attract girls.
"Ow, thank you." She gets it then boom, back to her book reading something that I don't what’s the title. Exactly when the fates favour is in me.
There is no vacant sit, except to her occupied table.
“Can I?” I asked.
“Yeah, sure.” She smiled the most beautiful smile I saw.
It makes me want to keep her, to be under in my property, and gonna do everything to get a yes with this girl.
Tinitigan ko lang siya, she glances at me and I smiled.Under the bell suddenly rang and she carried all the books on the table.
As a gentleman kuno, let’s make some soft move.
I held her hand to get all the books she’s carrying, ofcourse hold her hands gentler.
She looked at me, in a confusive way. I just smiled. As a bith college students I bet she knew this tactics.
“Sorry, I can’t bare you seeing carrying all this heavy things.” A sweet explanation.
That all started. I thought that this girl, Kayce is just a normal past time, or as a toy like how I treated other girls.
I waited her every morning, till afternoon to carry her books from the gate till her block.
I get her number and call her every day to sing a song, and do some sweet messages.
Then she started to invite me in her church and what she called Youth Service that I don’t even want it, what a nerd doings.
Especially it all started to be like as a joke and get her yes, to play her heart, even her body.
Things go well, in my favour of course.
Until, she invited me to attend in what she said Youth Service for almost many times.
I even joked her that if I will attend, she should say yes to me.
And I get a yes.
I felt something, people cried, people praise God. Worship him, and I don’t even get it. Like it’s too much for me and it isn’t my thing.
“Kayce.” I called her name and kissed her in lips and touch her shoulder.
She pushed me away and looked at me. “Marc no, it’s a sin.”
“Kung mahal mo ako, gagawin mo ito.” I hissed.
Things happened will always be in my favour, I broke up with her because she can’t give what I want.
Like a pro player, I put the blame to her.
“Sabi ko nun, kung mahal mo ako, you would give what’s make me happy.” As I start my testimony.
“I thought, bumigay man siya o hindi, ako ang panalo, kasi lalaki ako.”
”But things didn’t even go well, when she accidentally knew I just played with her heart, for a bet and for my pleasures also.” I sighed, dahil wala man akong nararamdaman ngayon,may guilt na namamahay sa sistema ko. “She only cried in front me, she didn’t even hit me, ni hindi siya nagmura, nanakit, umiyak lang siya.” While sharing my story, I can’t help but got teary eyed. “Alam niyo ba, the most powerful last words I heard with her, there’s no even hatred in it. Dahil sabi niya ‘God has a reason for this, and I believe for my verse, Remember Romans 8:18. This pain I felt right now, will be multiplied of joy, someday.’” Wika ko habang ginaya ang sinabi ni Kayce. I can’t never forget that lines.
”After that I remembered when the time I miss her good morning with Bible verses. I miss how she gave me advices. I miss how understanding she is. “ wika ko habang naglalakad
“Dahil ganon pala ang anak ng Lord, hindi mo mamalayan ang laking impact na pala ang naibibigay sayo.” I said.
“Siya’y kumikilos at buhay, at sabi nga sa ‘Romans 8:18 That pain that you’ve been feeling can’t compare to the joys that coming.’ Kaya nag hintay ako , ninamnam ko yung sakit ng maling desisyon ko.”
“A lot of people inside of this service knew Kayce, and would you believe it takes years before I take the courage to go where I know she was. Dito sa church.” I stand in front of a lot of youths, I looked at them, too carried away to my story.
”I prayed, after we broke up,I keep my faith on Jesus. This pain? Will multiplied of joy like what she said to me. She’s my joy. She’s the one that God use as an instrument for me to wake up.”
I remembered next thing that happened.
“ I came to this service on every Friday, to have a chance to see her. Even from afar, but I don’t a chance, so when the Sunday came, I go to church where she invites me.”
“As I prayed, I saw a man waiting in front of the aisle.”
Its still clear, how this man cried while walking a bride. As well I remembered my regrets when I saw the woman who’s wearing a bridal gown.
“It’s Kayce, the woman I love for years.” After I said this line, lahat ng kabataan na nakikinig ay nag- awwww.
“Habang naghihintay ako sayong pagbabalik, hinihintay ka na pala ng iba at nanabik na makasama ka, panghabang- buhay.”
Pinagpatuloy ko ang aking storya, dahil alam kong pagkatapos nito, kailangan ko nang makalaya, sa mga bagay na pinagsisihan ko ng wagas.
“Atleast gaya ng sabi niya, yung sakit na naramdaman niya sakin noon ay walang katumbas sa magiging saya niya sa pagdating ng panahon.”
“She found her happiness, while I was trying to find her.”
That is when I realized the joy I’ve feeling right now is I get to know God more, she’s the instrument used for me to give a light to my black vision.
“Kaya kayo, si Hesus dapat ang centro ng lahat ng relasyon may-roon kayo.”
“Dahil naniniwala akong siya ang nauna, ngunit hindi siya ang magiging huli. May nakalaan ang lahat.”
