Arise

Chapter Two: Learn To Fly

Zeynep was flying. Chasing something or running from something; maybe both. She only knew she was moving faster than she'd ever gone before and she had to keep moving or she'd die. It was self-preservation; fight or flight. She had tried fighting and it had nearly gotten her killed. So, she took off. She knew if she turned back now, she was as good as dead. HE was back there. And he'd never stop. Alive or dead, he'd find a way to torture her. She could almost feel him now, his ragged breath on her neck, his hand pressing a cloth over her mouth, so she couldn't scream. Arms that once sheltered her, now binding her wings so she couldn't escape, breaking them - breaking her. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't move. NO! Not again. Never again. She struggled to break free of his hold and cried out in desperation, a desperate scream ripped from her lungs, "LET GO!"

Suddenly, she was free falling through the sky. But she wasn't afraid. This was fall was freedom. The clouds surrounded her and kept her hidden, safe in their sanctuary. Zeynep reached out to touch one and laughed at the sensation. It was soft, but scruffy. It tickled her palm, but in the most delightful way. She had the strangest urge to rub her face against it. She tried to bring it closer to her, but it wouldn't move. She grabbed a handful, prepared to get her way, but stilled when she felt a hand on top of her own, calming her frantic movements. That hand was strong and steady. Safe and warm. Firm and gentle. She'd know that hand anywhere. "Bariş." she breathed.

Zeynep came awake with a start. She blinked slowly, her eyes adjusting to the low lights inside the plane's cabin. It took her a moment to remember where she was. On a plane, headed to London, with Bariş. He had shown up at the hospital just as everything was spinning out of control. Mehdi was once again forcing himself into her life and leaving her with nowhere to run. Even unconscious, he had found a way to lock her in. Trapping her with the guilt of not dropping the attempted murder charges, leaving him in prison, which resulted in the attack that had left him fighting for his life and left her to face the wrath of his family, who seemed just as determined he was to blame her for everything. Cemile had become unhinged, cursing Zeynep for every misfortune their family had recently faced and Kibrit was renouncing Zeynep as her mother, swearing to never speak to her again. All because she had dared to put herself before the man that had tortured her. Panic set in and her body began to shut down. She was frozen in her fear, trapped by the guilt that was her ever present jailor and helpless to escape the pain. She was instantly back in that house with all the locks; in that car with no way out. This was all her fault and she would never be free.

The room had started to spin and things became fuzzy. Her lungs burned for air that she couldn't find and her body wouldn't obey her please for peace. Just as she thought she might lose the battle for consciousness, Bariş had blazed in like the sun breaking through the clouds and become her single point of focus. She listened as he took Cemile to task over her cruelty and she took strength in his words, building a bridge back to breathing normally and giving life to her frozen limbs. She reached out for him and he'd wrapped his arms around her, holding her together while the world fell apart. Mehdi crashed and everyone in the hall stopped moving. Zeynep buried her face in Bariş's chest and tried not to hear the heart monitor flatline, she knew it would haunt her forever. The nurses pulled the shades to continue their work and Zeynep focused on what she could do, breathe. Coming out of a panic attack was never easy, but she was comforted by the calming presence now anchoring her.

As soon as Mehdi had woken up, and they made eye contact, she felt the locks clicking back into place and terror take hold. Bariş seemed to recognize the change in her instantly and decidedly removed her from the situation. At first, she had struggled against it, convinced this was still her place. Her own personal purgatory. And she couldn't leave Kibrit. But Kibrit didn't want her there. No one did. Cemile, in her best condescending tone, advised her that Benal was on her way with baby Mujgan. Mehdi needed his family with him now more than ever, so it would be best for her to leave, she had done enough and she no longer belonged there. Zeynep knew there were truth in her words, though they were somehow meant to wound. She left the hospital with Bariş and climbed into his car. They drove around for hours, at first in silence, then listening to music. He started talking about random songs and musicians he loved and she found herself responding, until they fell into easy "anything else" conversation. Eventually the conversation turn to work and somehow, Bariş convinced her to come away with him to England for the weekend on a business trip. He had clients there he needed to see and she needed the break and the distraction. Mehdi was no longer her husband, nor her responsibility. Just as Zeynep had begged of him to let her go in her nightmares, she needed to let him go in her life as well. Deciding for once to not think of anyone or anything else, she snuck home, packed a bag, grabbed her passport, left a note for her mothers and Emine and off they flew in the dead of night.