Arise

Chapter Five: All Your Life

Zeynep wasn't moving. She stood resiliently alone in front of the terrace doors that were next to the piano, with her back to him, looking out over the city. She'd been there for hours, frozen and quiet. The Thames river flowing peacefully below them showed more signs of life. She hadn't said a word since Bariş had broken the news to her.

Mehdi was dead.

Apparently, the knife he was stabbed with had caused an infection that turned into sepsis. Which had initially caused his heart to stop, but even after they brought him back, the rest of his organs slowly shut down and eventually failed altogether. There was nothing anyone could do. It was a quick, but painful death.

Bariş shook his head and resumed pouring them both a cup of Çay. He resolutely watched over Zeynep while she processed everything. Alone, in her head. After he explained what he'd learned of the passing from Nermin, she moved away from him to her post in front of the windows and stayed there. She hadn't cried, she hadn't screamed, she hadn't collapsed. She hadn't asked for more information or tried to call anyone or demand they return to Istanbul immediately. Bariş had expected all of the above as he contemplated how to tell her. Instead, she was as immoveable as a mountain and as unreachable as its highest peak. She had been so open and alive with him all morning; the return of Zeynep with her walls up absolutely terrified him.

"Çay, Zeynep?" He offered her a glass as he came to stand beside her.

"I'd like to leave." Zeynep replied, not acknowledging the tea.

Bariş felt his stomach roll. He looked at the ground and sighed, lowering the glass to his side. He had anticipated it and yet he still wasn't ready.

"Of course, right away." He nodded at the floor, "I will have them fuel the jet and I will pack our bags right away. We can be back in Turkey within a few hours." He turned on his heel, snapping into business Bariş mode, ready to be whatever she needed.

"What?" Zeynep turned to him at last, stopping him in his tracks. He looked over his shoulder and found confusion clouding her lovely irises.

"Just let me make a few calls and we can leave right away. I'll take care of everything." Bariş gave her a halfhearted semi-smile and placed the tea on a nearby table. He pulled out his cell phone and began scrolling through the contacts. He stopped when he felt the touch of a small hand on his shoulder blade, which slid down to his lower back as he turned to her with a question in his eyes.

"I meant I would like to leave here and go outside, a walk along the river perhaps?" She nodded towards the window, indicating where her thoughts had been.

"A walk? Are you sure? You don't want to go back to Istanbul? To Mehdi?" He asked, the last question nearly ripped him in half to say out loud.

Zeynep shook her head emphatically "I know exactly what I want and what I don't want for the first time in my life. I've never been more sure." Her soft smile made him smile in return. His Zeynep peeking out at him from behind the walls and he was more than ready for the climb.

"Alright, let's go for a walk then. Maybe we will find a place to eat if you're still hungry, we haven't eaten since the plane last night. Oh! And we'll need our coats; it will be chilly along the water." Bariş spoke quickly, becoming suddenly animated with the action, a strange mixture of joyful relief and cautious worry stirred up inside him all at once.

*********

They strolled hand in hand along the waterfront. Zeynep stared out over the dark currents running alongside them and over at the city beyond, while Bariş stared at Zeynep. He wasn't sure what to say, if he should even say anything at all. Eventually, he decided it was best to follow her lead and kept silent. He would wait for her to share herself with him once more. Part of him worried her words might be the end of them and part of him prayed they would give them life.