spring

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Waking up, my initial foggy assumption is that I am in my own bed, under my own roof; this place seems somehow safer, though, despite my presence here only having lasted just over a day. What does this new chapter mean for me, I wonder, and will Xiao keep me here with him? Through further intellection and considering the elusive tendencies of Adepti, I'd assume the contrary- though staying with him doesn't stray very far from my thoughts regardless. As if almost naturally and unsurprising, the very man occupying my thoughts opens the door of his hut to face my sitting figure. "Hm, so you're awake.", he starts with his signature raspy voice.
"It would seem so", is all I can mutter, looking down at my hands.
He does not reply, instead idly making his way to a shabby wooden chair relatively close to the bed, dragging it out from the desk, and sitting on it facing me. Though the chair looks worn and far from comfortable, he doesn't seem to mind, looking rather accommodated to the hard surface. With intent slitted eyes, he continues;
"I can make a rough assumption as to what plays at your thoughts, Y/N, and I can inform you that although I took you here in confidence, I have no material intentions for you here. The choice is all yours, and you can by all means stay here." His hands are clasped and his eyes peer into my own. Though his statement proved to be rather blunt, it does not seem untruthful. Responding to such a statement is the only difficult part, and a soft "oh", is all I can manage. Despite my
outspoken submission, my hand steadily reaches for his battle-calloused one on the table before he shoots a defensive gaze my way and hastily grabs my wrist. Surprised, I jerk back, but he quickly recognizes his unnecessary resistance and apologizes, looking almost as if cursing himself. "I am... not very accustomed to proximate physical human interaction. Forgive me." As a result, our hands do end up intertwined on the table, albeit with a slightly unavoidable awkward air between us. "Is this, what you wanted to happen? Or just a miscommunication?" I ask him. Surely there is no other feasible explanation for him choosing me, of all people, to bring home with him. My feelings for him are undoubtedly present, but there is no point in pursuing them if Xiao doesn't feel the same way.
"I'd be lying if I said this wasn't comforting", he admits with a sigh. I chuckle and stand up, nonchalantly withdrawing my hand from his, not desiring any further awkward tension between us. After clearing my throat, I finally collect myself and say, "I can't stay here in this hut forever, can I? I think I'll get some fresh air." Carrying myself with a lack of grace, I hastily shuffle out of the room without even thinking twice about putting on my shoes or sweater, afterwards feeling humiliated at my own ineptitude. Deciding it'd be best to clear my head, I head in the other direction of the hut, a path I have never stepped foot on. The area I end up finding myself in is placed on a lower shelf of the mountaintop, a place of much less tranquility than the first. "Is this his... training ground? It looks as if it's been swept by a tornado", I mutter quietly and step back, too intimidated to touch anything or walk much further. Littered with destroyed training dummies and cracked, fallen trees, whilst smothered in a thin wet fog, this place seems far from welcoming as my bare foot sinks into the soft mud underneath me. I jump back and kick it off, losing my balance and instead falling into the mud with a yelp. Beyond frustrated at my clumsiness this morning and overwhelmed from the abundance of new experiences the past two days, all I can bring myself to do is curl up and put my head in my hands, resting on my knees. Feelings exhausted, as if my shoulders had finally cracked under all of this weight, I find I cannot suppress my emotions any longer, and soon after, I cannot stop the salty tears from running down my face. Almost seeming an act of spite at this point, I hear my name called in a familiar tone. Panic corrupts my heart and I internally plead that he doesn't see me like this, defeated and crying in the mud - in his training camp, no less. He steps closer anyways, and leans down on one knee. I feel a gloved hand lightly press on the back of my head, but I still hesitate before looking up and exposing my red, tear-streaked face. He looks into my eyes, something I've rarely seen him do, and his brows curve into an expression of pure concern. A hand is still present rubbing the back of my head, unintentionally disrupting my hair, and I find that I only want him touching more of me. Before letting my thoughts spiral, Xiao's voice cuts through the fog.
"We need to get you cleaned up."
A hand reaches for mine, and I am hoisted up. With few words spoken between us, he walks me to the elemental hot spring he had showed me before, and gently asks if I mind. I gulp and shake my head, and he crosses his arms over his stomach, reaching to lift up his top and pulling it off in one graceful motion, though it feels like forever as I watch him. Too nervous to look any longer, I wordlessly remove my muddy clothing, relieved at how light it feels without them- the brief sense of relief dissipates when I look up to see Xiao with a shocked expression, his fingertips to his mouth and a light tinting his cheeks. He runs a hand through his hair and looks away, looking slightly bothered, and I wonder what he is thinking about. "It might be a shock when you first get in, but the effect will go away when you get used to it.", he warns after gathering his composure. I give a shy nod and dip my leg through the thin, luminescent surface, holding back an audible wince and jerking back slightly before continuing. When I am fully settled in the tangy, nipping water, a wave of fulfillment knocks into me and I gasp softly. Xiao steps into the water as well with frustrating ease, and makes his way closer to me, shampoo bottle in hand. He hands it to me and I thank him, glad to finally be able to freshen myself up, despite the slight arousal brewing in my lower stomach due to his close proximity. I slowly bring my gaze to his face, holding the bottle idly in my left hand, and meet his eyes with my own. I let out a sharp breath and my expression falters as I bite my lip, looking down at the ripples from our small movements. As usual, Xiao remains silent, but he does seem to shift his body backwards to restore the space between us; perhaps in acknowledgement of my discomfort. I smile meekly and return my attentions to the neglected shampoo bottle, and Xiao finds a spot in the spring to do what could only be classified as meditating, his eyes closed, head down, and hands politely resting in his lap. Looking at him this way, he doesn't seem like the cold, calculated killing machine I had once assumed him to be.

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 30, 2021 ⏰

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