mentions of blood, religious themes.
words: 301
notes: man I hope this is the last s4 demon blood fic I do but i know it won't be (update: it's not I'm so sorry). the breaking of sam's faith as a part of his fall from righteousness and the wrenching desperation of it all just inspires me so much for some reason. I think it's very Neat.
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he feels nails dragging along his scalp and tries to make himself believe it feels good. he wishes he could try to let it feel like anything other than knives. knives scraping along his skin to tear him open, old wounds breaking new. a new wave bible that screams about money and penance in everything you do. he thinks this is it, this is the ultimate american god. he thinks this must be worship, this must be ecstasy. but it is not, and he knows it. he knows this is not good and should never be mistaken for it like he knows that jesus does not love him, could not, would not. this blood is not the blood of christ, it flows from evil but it tastes better than communion wine. this is not the body of christ, this is not a body at all, it's a meat bag for whatever version of sam is in the building right now. this is the sack of skin shaped like an antichrist and ready to be hung out to dry on a cross when the floodwaters rise.
distantly, he feels something dripping down his forehead and feels like he's being anointed with oils. like he's dead and gone and three days past, covered in lemon and spices and shrouded with cloth. it's probably her nails but it feels like a broken crown, a tiara of thorns, so he lets it stay. it hurts, so it remains. this is wrong but it's all that's ever felt right, ever felt holy and righteous. nails are scratching to blood and monsters writhe under his skin and he's never been closer to god because Dean is in hell, the world is upside down, and this is the only thing that can be good. it has to be.
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notes: im sorry sassyandsarcastic15 I'm working on your awesome prompt im just struggling i hope this is at least a semi-satisfactory replacement.
requests? criticisms? thoughts on bernie sanders getting called an "ignorant slut" by a U.S. Senator?
thanks for reading!! 💙
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anthology
Fanfictionhere lies my ode to Sam Winchester and all the things the writers were too cowardly to include in the show. this is a series of one-shots, drabbles, poems, and meta focusing on Sam. that's it. .・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。. (more in the first A/N which I tried my...
