cruel affection

two

It seemed as if hours had passed until Katsuki's sobs finally turned into soft little sniffles. Even then, however, he didn't seem to be able to stop shaking, nails digging into the sheets as he burrowed closer into Izuku's chest.

Izuku, himself, wasn't faring any better.

Fuck, he could barely focus on anything other than the boy in his arms, but he could still feel the panic that had been pushed to the back of his mind.

He didn't care, though. It didn't matter. He had time to freak out later on, to go to his room and lock himself away while he tried to figure out why the fuck he thought anything he'd done so far was okay.

For now, he needed to be there for Kacchan.

"Better now?"

Katsuki nodded. It didn't seem as if he could even speak. Izuku didn't blame him - his throat must've been hoarse.

Good thing he'd placed a water bottle right beside the bed earlier. At least he'd done one thing right. Slowly, he pushed them both up until they were seated on the bed, carefully manoeuvring his boyfriend so that he was sitting sideways on his naked lap.

He forced him to drink some water, tipping his head back until Katsuki took careful sips and finally let out a sigh of relief. Straight after, he grabbed the soft towel he had previously placed on the nightstand, and carefully, with a gentle touch, he wiped down Katsuki's body, removing all the sweat, the lube, the pre-cum, until he could lay him back down on the bed. Maybe he should take him into the shower? Wash away all the grime and change the sheets, get out that nice, soft blanket Katsuki seemed to love because it felt nice on his overly-sensitive skin. Or put him in a bath and massage his body, light a few candles. May-

No. He didn't have time. He needed to stay with him. His own hands hadn't stopped shaking, not since the moment Katsuki started weeping - it almost felt as if they would never stop, as if those horrible sobs and pleas would be stuck in his mind forever. Izuku was sure they would.

It was his fault, after all. His fault for not speaking to Kacchan, for assuming he was okay with what they were doing without asking him, even though he knew what Kacchan was like - desperate to please, to prove himself and make Izuku happy, as if he was still trying to erase those years of Middle School. He should've known better.

Despite the curses and the insults, Kacchan was delicate, fragile and sensitive to the things spoken about him.

Fuck. There was no time for regrets, his baby was already beneath the covers, hand moving across the lines on their sheets as he slowly blinked, following his own movements with tired eyes. Izuku looked at him, checking over every inch of his beautiful, bruised body, making sure there wasn't anything else he needed - besides a better boyfriend, a boyfriend who spoke to him about this type of thing, who didn't hurt him and make him feel ugly and unwanted an-

Fuck. He needed to calm down. He needed to stay present.

As he tucked a strand of hair behind Katsuki's ear, he whispered, "we'll talk about this tomorrow, okay baby? I know you're tired and I want you to rest for a while."

Katsuki nodded, his movements slow and filled with exhaustion, eyelids drooping already. He knew he had apologies to make, he had to make it up to him, but Katsuki was exhausted, far too out of it to focus on such an important conversation.

Izuku could wait until tomorrow - he could lay awake and make sure Katsuki was okay while he figured out what to do. He glanced down, trailing his gaze over Katsuki's face, the way he seemed to melt into Izuku's embrace.

As if he deserved it, as if he had any right to still hold him, to be anywhere near him.

But he simply couldn't let go, nor could he look away.

Katsuki's tongue darted out, wetting those plump pink lips as Izuku's eyes followed the movement - fuck, all he wanted to do was lean in, give him that small contact that he needed, that he deserved. As if reading his mind, Kacchan looked up at him, his gaze dropping down to his lips for a split second before he seemed to decide against moving forward.

As if he was worried Izuku would reject him again.

God, how badly had he fucked this up?

Treading a hand through blond strands of hair, he tilted Katsuki's head up, moving forward until they were mere inches apart, giving his boyfriend time to move away if he wished to do so - Izuku wouldn't blame him if he did such a thing. But he didn't. Instead, he closed his eyes shut, nearly-white eyelashes fluttering with the movement, face lax and so damn trusting.

And so Izuku pressed their lips together, languidly moving until all tension seemed to seep out of Katsuki, leaving a pliant, limp body in his arms. He stayed close to him, refusing to part, sharing shy, delicate kisses as Izuku swallowed all of those beautiful little whimpers Katsuki made - his baby was always so easily overwhelmed, taken apart by the lightest touch.

And Izuku had been denying him just that. He moved his hand down Katsuki's back, fingertips trailing over the notches of his spine until his palm slid down the back of his leg. Finally, he gripped his thigh, pulling his leg over his waist, placing him in the position he knew Katsuki felt the most comfortable in. That's when he felt it - Katsuki's hard cock pressed against his side.

Kacchan flinched away at the contact, breaking the kiss and shoving his face down into the pillow, "so-sorry."

"It's okay, baby."

With a glance down, Izuku could see just how pent up the boy was - the head of his dick was red, swollen and glistening with pre-cum which dripped down the length, covering the smoothly-shaven skin around it as his thighs twitched and trembled.

Poor baby.

"You want me to help you?"

Katsuki shook his head, even as his cock twitched and throbbed with need.

Izuku bit his lip - normally, Kacchan never refused his help.

But he was fragile, still vulnerable.

He needed to be careful.

"I won't be mean, baby."

At that, Kacchan looked up, eyes filled with hope and unsurety.

God. He would spend the rest of his life making up for this - he had to.

"Promise?"

"Yeah, baby, I'll make it nice."

With a shaky inhale of breath, Katsuki nodded.