Pamela, New York

Chapter 17

Wow, this Harry Styles person is actually very cute.

"So I won't go around the bush with my questions, I will go straight to my questions on relationship," I say.

"Of course," he smiles, "You're from Cosmopolitan."

"Yes, and you were also an hour late from our original schedule, so," I smile politely.

"I apologize," he says, "I haven't slept for days."

"I'm sure," I nod, "So, are you dating anyone right now?"

"Yes," he says, "But I can't talk about the deta-"

"I heard she is older than you," I say, "Much older."

"I really can't talk about the details," he smiles, "I'm so sorry."

"That's fine, we're not interested in who, but more in why. Can you talk about that?"

"Haven't you fallen in love?" he asks, "I'm sure it needs no explanation on why. You just do."

"I think there is an explanation. Still."

"She's... different, I guess. And I'm not even referring to the age thing, she just makes me experience different feelings."

"Different like it's sweeter, or...?"

"It's safer," he says, "Like there is no bullshit with this one. There is no game where we muck around. We started hanging out, we enjoyed each other's company, and we fell in love. That's it, you know? The whole thing develops in a way that's... uhm, what's the word I'm looking for..."

"Organic?"

"Organic. Yes, that's it. Organic. You know sometimes with these dating stuff, especially in the kind of world we live in, you find yourselves in situations where you think you need to be with someone because you both are famous, or because she's the prettiest girl, or because you would look good together. So it's not so much about what you feel toward the person, but more on what's good according to everyone else. I think this is why girls have crush on the quarterback, or screaming their lungs out in boyband concerts... It's because everyone tells them to. It seems right only because everyone does it. Then one day you wake up and ask yourself, what was all that? Like you feel empty because that is not what you want. You know what I mean?"

I nod, "So this woman is who you want?" I ask, "Or you think this is just one of your rebellious phases in life that will pass?"

"How can one be sure?" he says, "Call it whatever phase, but the difference of the real thing is the non-existence of fear. You're not afraid because you believe in your decision wholeheartedly. You're just, happy."

"So you don't even think about what's waiting in front of you, is that what you mean?"

He shakes his head, "I think with the real thing, you don't even need much thinking. You will constantly find yourself on a path that brings you two together. And I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with that."

You will constantly finding yourself on a path that brings you two together.

My phone vibrates. I glanced.

A text from Jimmy:

"Guess what lover, just killed at practice. Threw like a boss! I think tomorrow will realize my childhood dream, NFL will draft me. How I wish you could see. You don't mind dating a football player, do you? Miss you like crazy."

I smile.
I need to go home to Jimmy.

***

After I packed and checked out, I walk to the Vodka party area to find James. I flash my VIP invite card to the guard (who looks puzzled on why I'm wearing skinny jeans, trench coat, and knee-high boots to a Vodka party), and walk right in.