Wordwright Emporium of Uncommon Tomes

Help Wanted at the Wordwright Emporium of Uncommon Tomes. Inquire Inside!

Welcome to the Wordwright Emporium of Uncommon Tomes. At least, that's what it says on the sign, but unofficially my family does so much more than sell dusty books. If you are wondering, yes, I am the real Alexa Wordwright – you didn't think I was her secretary or something, did you? My side of the business is not advertised as it requires great discretion, but it is nonetheless expanding and so I need another pair of hands to manage the workload. You may be curious, though, exactly what a Lexical Detective does...

Most people don't realize that words, by their very nature, are troublemakers. This goes largely unnoticed because over the centuries lexicographers – which literally means "word writers" – have developed ways of keeping words under control. Are you familiar with the Dictionary? A word inscribed within a dictionary is content in knowing where it belongs in its language is thus very manageable. But there are some words, like many found in the rare books in this shop, for example, that are so old and infrequently used that they have actually been removed from the dictionary and, as a result...forgotten. These words are called archaic and, unrestrained by the etymological bonds of a dictionary, they become wild, unruly and quite cranky.

An unbound word, be it archaic or otherwise, may act out in various ways, though it generally always results in some degree of conversational chaos. When reports come in about such a word forcing its way into discussions that it doesn't belong, then I step in. I begin my investigation by studying the word itself, not just its definition but when and where it originated, what part of speech it belongs to and all the minutiae that I can dig up, all of which gives me the insight I need to focus my investigation. If you think my work sounds boring, rest assured that I have had enough adventure to fill a thousand lifetimes! I chased yonside to the ends of the earth, tracked whitherward across the sun-scorched desert dunes and even pursued larboard across the seven seas and beyond – that's right! There are many more than seven! How did I apprehend the wayward scoundrels? Well my methods are trade secrets that I may teach you in due time, but for now, just believe me when I say that this job is anything but boring.

There is much more I could tell you but time doesn't allow. There are rumors circulating that forsooth has been causing some confusion in a remote mountain village and I could use your help looking into it. If anything I've said worries you, you know where the door is. But if you are still interested in joining me – and let's face it, who wouldn't be? – then I would like to welcome you to the true Wordwright Emporium of Uncommon Tomes and Agency of Lexical Investigation.