Moonlit Aroma

The Heat Pt3

I looked into his eyes feeling my anger fade slightly but I still couldn't shake my thoughts. "Honestly at the moment I don't know if I made the right decision picking you Kieran. I don't even know if I'm willing to truly just submit to your will, your wants, your needs. If you can't compromise for me then is all of what we've done really worth it in the end?" I said not realizing how blunt I was when I said it. The whimper that left Kieran's lips and the shock on both their faces let me know that my delivery wasn't as smooth as I had hoped. Before I knew it Kieran nodded as he stood up and headed for the door. "Again I'm sorry and I understand if you choose not to be with me. I can't be upset it's all my fault I'm not as strong willed as I had hoped." He said leaving the room in silence and I could feel that I hurt his wolf's pride. "I'm proud of you for speaking your mind but if I may add a little input on the situation I'd love for you to hear me out?" Varrin said as he walked in almost whispering hoping it wouldn't anger me. "I told you Dad no need to walk on glass speak your mind. Maybe I need to hear it, maybe I'm overreacting I don't know. I know I care a lot about him I just don't know if that translates to mating. I thought we'd get married and that would just be it. But then his father brought up the idea of pups and it just changed my whole course. Like what if I can't even get pregnant what will that do to me mentally? What if I do end up pregnant and change completely losing everything that makes me, me?" The tears started streaming faster than I could think and I just felt myself become emotionally overwhelmed. "You don't have to worry about those things Pup your an OA you guys are beyond the basic understanding of shifters. I mean let's say you can't have pups so what it doesn't change the fact that you are my kid. It doesn't change who you will become and changing after giving birth isnt permanent as some believe it's just until your pup is one years old. You just go into a protective state where you don't trust anyone and begin nesting. Doing nothing but taking care of your young whatever that means to you. I'm not saying this just because I want you to mate it's because I understand your fear. You won't believe this but Teiven was the one who couldn't wait to mate I was the one completely afraid." He said taking my hand and looking at me sincerely. "Why were you afraid and how do you get over it?" I asked finding myself loaded with hope that maybe I could overcome my fears. "It's crazy because I never really did get over it but Teiven's strength inspired me. He was always fearless and I knew in that moment of realization that it didn't matter if I was ready or not. What mattered was that we did it all together and the responsibility is shared between parents. I wouldn't be in the situation alone and I didn't have to be afraid of hurting Teiven when I went into my rut. He's the strongest person I know and you are just as strong you just have to remember that none of it will be easy but it will be survivable. Plus it's your first time mating it's not guaranteed that you'll end up pregnant and if you want there is a birth control method created for times like this. Some couples aren't always ready to have pups and it's ok there's nothing wrong with waiting. Sadly your case is just a little different I need you to know that not mating right now is currently killing you. The witches had perceived this and we were prepared but it seems your situation is way more complicated. You see your body is changing on the inside and soon the outside, apparently you have been intersex but your body is choosing a sex for you. You have to come to terms with who you are and who you want to be, Kieran is being moved as this won't be able to happen successfully with him near you. You body is trying to process it's change along with the change your already going through with your heat. Which is causing it to overload and cease function Kieran's wolf causes your heat to reach its maximum which is not what we need right now. So to keep your choice as yours in regards to mating I ask that you quickly chose your life's path. Do you understand what I'm telling you I really need you to understand what I'm saying?" He said eyeing me seriously which caused me to answer immediately. "Yes sir I understand." I said looking down coming to terms with what this meant for me. All my life I felt like my body was wrong like it wasn't my own just what everyone else wanted for me. Now I had the option to live in the body I've always wanted for myself deep down. I knew my choice and knew outcome would shock everyone but I was going to do it for me. "Good now just center yourself and focus on who you want to be once you see your fox follow it to your chosen path. No matter what you pick I will always love you, you are and will always be my kid." As he said the words I quickly centered myself and felt everything around me fade to black. I focused on all of my feminine qualities and how I felt most at home with that side of myself. Before I knew it my fox was facing me I stood up and it began leading me through a beautiful and serene forest that had a river  flowing through it. Once we made it to the river she began to drink from it and I followed suit. The water was electric and invigorating making me feel at peace with myself. I looked to the side searching for my fox but she was no where in sight I looked back at the water to see my reflection noticing that I was her and she was me my eyes glowed an intoxicating green. I gasped and realized that I was now back in the bathroom with my father looking at me with pure shock. "Oh my it was true all this time, I thought you were different but I didn't know that this was how. Your the first intersex OA ever to exist they have always been exclusively male. You were just a legend said to come when we need to change again, you are supposed to change the world from what we know it as. I must go now this changes everything I have to prepare." He said as he scrunched his face rushing out of the room before I could even ask what he had to prepare for. It was like he had to avoid looking at me let alone tolerate my scent as if I smelt bad. I got up and look at myself in the mirror seeing a my vibrant green eyes glowing like never before. I couldn't help but feel myself crying from joy because I finally understood the emotions I've always felt. All of this felt crazy and like deja vu like I had been here before just in a different setting. I went and put on a black T-shirt from one of the dressers and pairing it with some fluffy pajama pants that had koalas and bamboo printed on them. I tucked my hair behind my ear wondering what I could do to change us shifters for the better. The mating process could use some work I always felt like each wolf should automatically have a mate out there for them. No more worrying about picking the wrong person since your DNA will be connected on deeper level creating true balance. There will be no more TA's or OA's just Alphas, Betas, and Omegas it's about time we created true order between Pack's and the wolves within them. I will also make it to where we are no longer pariahs everyone will be different and shifters will no longer be hunted for being different. I will do all this and more to help shape this world but I know it will take my life. Its something I can feel but I know it'll be worth it this version of me will die but I'll live again. I walked out and headed to the lake the Moon looked different to me and for once I truly felt connected to it on deep level. I began to strip naked feeling the Moon's very shade change into a neon green almost as vibrant as my eyes. I stood on the frozen lake feeling the many stars within me waiting to spread like seeds and fill the earth. "Teioh what are you doing and why do you smell like that so different you don't smell the same." I turned to see Kieran and the whole Pack watching me in awe some in terror. "It's what I have to do for our people to thrive, it's what I have to do to make things right I haven't understood a lot of things that have been going on in my life but now I see everything. Teion failed us,I won't I now know what to do I'll keep y'all safe just know that everything we have been and are now will completely change for the better. With great things come many sacrifices in time we'll meet again and Kieran we're meant to be our paths will cross again soon. I'll just be a completely different person hopefully one who can give you what you need." With that I planted a seed within him first and quickly turned around blocking them out I looked down at myself only to see that I was becoming pure energy that began to expand and soon I could feel myself explode my physical body no more but my essence spreading across the world. I wouldn't be coming back just like the ones before me hadn't the world required new lives new destinies I had fulfilled mine. I never truly hungered for much in my life except to find my true purpose my true lineage and I have been granted those things through my ascension this isn't my death but my beginning.