Christine's heart nearly stopped. Stevie looked her directly in the eye when she uttered the truth contained for so long. Although all humour is rooted in realities Christine knew she wasn't being funny or seductive even. If the longing in her voice hadn't told Christine she meant what she said, the look in her dark brown eyes definitely did until she averted her gaze and put her tea cup down, willing Christine to say something, anything, as a strange relief and intense anxiety washed over her simultaneously. She sat momentarily stunned, almost not allowing herself to believe she had been right.
"Baby," Christine let out finally for the first time in many years, with almost more meaning than one word could hold.
Every moment the two women had shared flooded Stevie's mind in a fiery sequence. All the nights they'd found solace in one another, all the days they spent rehearsing, perfecting the soundtrack of their, and everyone else's, lives. Her breath hitched in her throat, as all the emotions past seeped out of her heart and coursed through her veins. How she had suppressed this for so long without disintegrating was a miracle.
Christine wanted more than anything to tell Stevie that all the british accents she heard all day, every day, only made her want to get on a plane and fly to wherever she was, so she could hear the one american accent she wanted most. But instead she whispered
"If we go there, it'll only make it that much harder when you have to leave again."
They hadn't seen each other face to face in years and this was the reason. The only way they could both hold themselves together, to not hold each other, was to be separated by oceans.
Stevie had managed to keep the walls up for the past 10 years that Christine had exiled herself, but she couldn't any longer. She didn't want to. There was nothing beloved about exile. She turned to Christine who seemed to be silently pleading her to stop before it was too late. Stevie stared at her, eyes filled with love and determination,
"I'm not leaving this time, or ever again."
And Christine knew she meant it, as she saw the same look Stevie had seen all those years ago when she told her she was leaving the band. She had made her decision, nothing could dissuade her, Christine recognized her resolve and let go. She didn't ask how. She didn't ask why. She just understood Stevie was staying.
"Steph" Christine cried quietly as she pulled Stevie onto her lap, now completely overwhelmed by emotion. Her knees came to rest either side of Christine's hips. Christine began to do all the things she's resisted with such difficulty for a long time. Stroking Stevie's cheek with her soft palm, caressing her face, running her fingers through the hair that framed it so beautifully.
Stevie gasped softly smiling in utter contentment, just a hand to her cheek was enough, had always been enough when it was Christine's hand.
"Are you sure Steph?" Christine asked shakily.
"I've never been more sure of anything." Stevie replied staring into Christine's eyes that shone brighter than bombay sapphires. At that moment Christine's reality became better than any of her sweetest imaginings.
"And I've never stopped loving you." Stevie whispered in her ear as she wrapped her arms around Christine's waist and buried her face in her neck, kissing her skin gently.
It was Christine's turn to gasp, she closed her eyes feeling happier in the last minute than she had for many moons. Her life without Stevie was black and white, this was glorious technicolor.
She tangled her hand in Stevie's hair and snaking her arm around her tiny waist, pulled her even closer, bringing their lips together for a desperate, wanting kiss. Stevie was already straddling Christine and wrapped her legs tightly around her slender body, clinging to her as if she were the sole life raft in a storm. Stevie gently broke the kiss, once again burying her head in Christine's neck as all the tears Stevie had held in until then streamed silently down her face seeping into Christine's shirt. Eventually feeling them on her skin, she tilted Stevie's head up to hers and kissed away the tears, smiling tenderly when she made Stevie giggle by kissing the tip of her nose, then rubbing her own nose lightly against Stevie's. Christine had never been overtly affection, but something about Stevie always brought out that side of her, she couldn't bare not to touch Stevie, hold her hand, kiss her cheek, all those silly clichéd romantic gestures she did in private to make up for the time they'd always had to spend apart when in public, although sometimes she couldn't resist, especially on stage.
"I never stopped loving you either Steph." Christine murmured, her voice rich and low, before delicately touching her lips to Stevie's once again. Both women drew back to look at each other, to take in each others faces in that moment, the admission of the love they had tried to deny, then forget for so long washed away in the crystalline knowledge that they would be together, and not just for the night.
Christine's heartfelt actions made Stevie fall in love with her every moment, over and over. No man had ever cared as much or made her feel as loved as Christine had. The guilt that Stevie felt for trying to run away from the truly great love of her life had begun to dissipate. She was always frightened of what people would think, and so was Christine, they both had other men and failed marriages, how John and Lindsey had never found out was a mystery, they had lived a secret life in a way, but things were different now, it was a different time and the only thing Stevie cared about was being happy with Christine.
Stevie moved her hand to rest on Christine's cheek and kissed her passionately, Christine reciprocating with equal fervour. She let her tongue dart out asking for entrance and Stevie quickly granted it, moaning slightly as her own tongue slipped into Christine's mouth. Stevie twisted her fingers in Christine's soft blonde hair while Christine's hands inched down her back, the feel of her white silk pyjama's causing Christine to tingle in all the right places as they deepened the kiss. They both knew the other was considering taking it further and gathered up the courage at the same time. Christine turned slightly to kiss Stevie's neck just behind her ear, a spot she hadn't forgotten as being particularly sensitive, as Stevie reached down to undo the sash on Christine's robe, taking it off gradually. Stevie leaned into Christine's touch, arching her back as she gently squeezed her breast, feeling her nipple harden beneath her pyjama top, Christine smiled against her neck.
"Take me to bed." Stevie breathed into Christine's ear, her raspy voice unbearably seductive. Christine stood up quickly before Stevie could unwrap her legs. Suspended in the air Stevie kissed Christine's cheek.
"As thrilled as i am that you can actually lift me, i think i better walk baby." She said laughing.
"You won't be able to when i'm finished with you." Christine purred putting her down and, relishing in the shock that flooded Stevie's widening eyes, she grinned.
"When did you learn to talk dirty?" Stevie asked grabbing Christine's ass, giving her a surprise of her own.
"I had a lot of time to fantasise." Christine replied with a sultry glint in her eye as she took Stevie by the hand and rushed up the staircase, wishing for the first time if wasn't quite so elaborate so they could get to bed faster.
