𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝐶𝑂𝑁𝐶𝐸𝑃𝑇 𝑂𝐹 𝐵𝐸𝐺𝑈𝐼𝐿𝐼𝑁𝐺 ┊ 𝐻𝐴𝐽𝐼𝑀𝐸 𝐼𝑊𝐴𝐼𝑍𝑈𝑀𝐼

𝟮𝟴 - 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝗶𝗾𝘂𝗶𝘁𝘆

┅ ┅ ┅

"Naomi?"
Out on another date, the two teenagers ended up sitting in Iwaizumi's mother's car which had been out of use for a while.
He was smoking with the window cracked open, hoping his mom wasn't awake to catch them.
"Hm?"
Naomi looked out the window at the dark sky, trying to forget about the smell of smoke and the sickly tremble in her chest.
"Thanks for the date."

"It felt a little overdue."
She hadn't known Iwaizumi smoked, but he claimed that it was to ease his anxiety. He certainly wasn't as fidgety as he usually was.
"Why do you think Oikawa...and Riko are—lying?"
"Don't know," he shrugged, "can we talk about something else?"
"You're final tournament is this week."
"And?"
"Are you nervous?"
"Nope."

His hand reached out to her, offering his cigarette.
"No thanks," she held a laugh.
"It's a plant."
"It's toxins. You shouldn't be doing that."
He rolled his eyes turning back to the window which let in a small breeze.
"Iwaizumi, are you mad at me?"
"No."
"You seem mad. You can tell me."
"I'm fine."
She slapped his arm, starling him.

"Hajime, you're acting weird. Please tell me what's wrong."
He licked his lips, a low sigh escaping.
"I'm worried. That's all."
"About what?"
"Oikawa. Our friendship. I guess it's over?"
"Do you not want it to be?"
His hand reached his hair, running his fingers down to his neck. "Of course not. I've known him forever, but if he's making up this dumb rumor just to get us to break up—or whatever the fuck is happening—then it must be over."
Naomi brushed her hair back, tying it up with a wristband. "Then what are you worried about?"
"Even if he fucked us both over...I still care about him. This week will be bad if he continues playing this way."

Iwaizumi dropped the cigarette outside, his hands collapsed in his lap.
"Hajime," Naomi said, placing hers atop, "things will turn out alright."
He smiled, leaning up towards her, "I love you, Naomi."
Despite the smell of smoke on him, she smiled back, "And I love you, Hajime."
The two kissed in the silence of the car, hoping to keep this reality alive.

┅ ┅ ┅

"This doesn't look good."
In the final set against the Karasuno team, Naomi overheard some of her teammates talking. They had all observed and silently mentioned Oikawa and Iwaizumi's strange plays, but now it was serious. They were losing badly, all because of their crumbling friendship.

Naomi observed Oikawa who looked drained and exhausted, the sweat dripping off him and his trembling hands whenever the ball fell from above.
Iwaizumi wasn't doing any better, but he was more careless than nervous, with sloppy steps and ignoring signals from his setter.
Naomi knew this was a result of that night and Oikawa's bad decision. She knew he hadn't thought it through, but neither did she with this plan.

The team was clouded with dread when the final call was Karasuno's win. Everyone she walked behind moved in slow motion, tears down the faces of third-years who wouldn't play here again.
This was a disappointment and a wave of anger against the two that everyone knew drove their team. At that moment they were leaving, however, everyone was only blaming themselves.

Naomi waited by the bus doors while the team members prepared themselves to leave. They arrived one by one, with red eyes and jackets draped over their shoulders.
"Itsuwaru?"
She looked up at Makki and Mattsun, their faces clearly just washed in the sink.
"Hm?"
"Are you and Iwaizumi still dating?"
"Yeah."
Makki tightened the grip on his jacket.
"Is it true? The reason you are?"
"No," she responded quietly.
"And Oikawa...he's just...a liar?" Mattsun had his hands in his pockets.
"I don't know."

Their eyes each other for a moment before Makki took Mattsun's arm, dragging them both inside the bus without another word.
Everything was hurting. It was hard to stay awake.
Naomi had left her phone in her bag, most numbers now blocked due to the harassing texts she constantly received. No one in her class talked to her anymore. The team tended to leave her be.
Naomi couldn't remember the last conversation she had with someone outside the Seijoh team since her fall down the stairs.

"I bet you're happy."
Naomi's eyes lifted to Oikawa, whose eyes looked angry and whose cheeks were stained with tears. "So congratulations."
She was silent with her arms crossed.
"You split us up and you're still dating. I don't know how you do it."
He was digging deeper.
"When did your plan change? When did you abandon pursuing me? Why did you? Why are you doing this to him?"
She remained speechless.

"Say something!" He shouted, "Naomi! Say anything! Tell me! He's my friend! Tell me, why him!"
"I like him. That's why I'm dating him."
"Bullshit."
He stepped up to her, "you're a fucking liar. And an awful, awful person. How the fuck do you live with yourself?"
Oikawa bit his tongue, trying now to burst into more tears. "Do me a fucking favor Naomi and never show your face to me again. Take good care of my friend because I know he's too in love to let you go."
He shook his head before stepping onto the bus, leaving her in a grave outside in the parking lot.

┅ ┅ ┅

As Naomi finished cleaning duty, knowing she'd have to walk herself home, she was poked in the back by a mop.
"Hey, Itsuwaru, you still dating your puppet?"
She didn't answer, seeing the reflection of the girl behind her in the window.
"How do you live with yourself, knowing what you're doing to him?"
"Please leave me alone."
"Right...whatever. Finish up the room for me. I'm heading home."

The mop dropped to the floor behind her, the echoing of the wooden handle sounding in the room.
Naomi dropped what was in her hands, opening the classroom doors and heading down the hallway.
This was too much. All of it. Everything. The constant chatter of her name. The stares. The resentment.
She ruined Tobio's trust for Oikawa's sake. She ruined Iwaizumi's friendship just to save her own skin. She lost her only friend by doing some stupid experiment.

How was she living with herself?

Naomi felt heavy as she walked up the stairs, making her way to the roof. She remembered eating lunch on the rooftop in middle school.
Riko always invited her. Oikawa usually sat across, his tie thrown over his shoulder.
Now he despises her.
Riko would offer her vegan treats with smiles.
Now she hates her.
Iwaizumi...he would look at her...joke with her...adore her every word.
Now he's living a lie she created.

Naomi stood on the empty roof, wrappers and empty bottles rolling around in the wind.
She bent down, removing her shoes and boot, leaving them standing beside each other.
This nausea would never leave. This guilt would always remain. Naomi couldn't bring herself to look into his heartbroken eyes. She couldn't confess. This was easier.

Naomi climbed over the railing, holding onto it from behind.
"Forgive me," she whispered before she let go.