Hiding Behind False Eyes (A Ben Bruce Love Story.... Kind of.)

Chapter Eight- I Think There's Things I've Left Unsaid

“Wake up, love,” said Ben softly into my ear. “We’re here.”

My eyelids fluttered open.

“Holy shit!” I exclaimed. I had expected to wake up in the car; instead, Ben was holding me in his arms in front of the Asking Alexandria bus.

“Worried I’ll drop you?” he said with a smirk.

“Should I be?”

“Possibly,” he said, and slung me over his shoulder. I giggled uncontrollably and looked at the upside down world as Ben went up the steps and into the bus.

He set me on my feet and I gave him a kiss on the cheek, grinning as I did so.

“Ready for the grand tour?” he asked. I nodded and he took my hand.

Ben guided me through the bus. “There’s the lounge, the bathroom is over there”- he said, indicating with his finger. “We usually shower in hotels… we kinda use the one on the bus for storage.”

I half-smiled because there were, in fact, boxes stacked up in their shower. At the end of the hallway Ben pulled aside a curtain.

“These are the bunks. That’s mine, there, in the middle on the right. It’s possibly yours, too, if you get too lonely in your own bunk,” he said, nudging me playfully.

I felt myself blush. “Ben…!”

“I’m kidding, beautiful,” he said with a laugh, before moving towards the back of the bus.

“This is the recording studio,” said Ben. The boys were sitting inside, eyes glued to a laptop screen. “We have almost no time off touring so this is where we write and record lots of our songs. It’s shit, really, especially since the boys come here to bang sometimes, but it does the trick.”

I giggled at that, and Danny lifted his head. Something flashed in his green eyes, and he quickly looked back down at the laptop. I noticed the bags under his eyes; it looked like he hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in a while.

“I, er, have to talk to the guys for a minute,” said Ben. “Do you mind…?”

I shook my head. “Of course not. I’ll go for a walk,” I said.

“Thanks, love,” he said. “See you in a while.”

I smiled and walked out of the recording studio. The lighting in the bus was rather dim. Half-empty bottles of whiskey and beer were strewn across the counters and window ledges. Compulsively, I grabbed all the empty bottles in sight and threw them in the garbage. This being completed, I stepped off of the bus and into the evening.

Of course, I recognized where we were. I knew the area near the venue well enough, so I started to walk to a small park nearby. When I got there I sat on a bench, and without a warning, everything came crashing down on me.

My mother didn’t know where I was, though she probably wouldn’t do anything about it. Alyssa wasn’t on the bus, but she was probably somewhere nearby. She wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye. At least, I hoped she hadn’t. I was about to embark on a tour with five men I had met only yesterday. Where would I go if Ben and I broke up? What if I got tired of touring? I had no cash with me; the boys had told me not to bring any. Would I just stop in the nearest state and get them to buy me a ticket home? Maybe that would work if I actually had a place to go home to. My head pounded. I really should have planned this out better. I reached to my neck and grasped the ruby pendant from Alyssa, and managed to smile through the confusion. I knew I would come to think of it as a good luck charm.

Ben’s P.O.V.

I watched as Rain closed the door behind her, leaving the boys and I in the studio. I cleared my throat and they tore their gazes away from the laptop.

“Guys, I need to talk to you all about something. And it’s serious.”

“Serious. Maybe I should name my cock that so it seems more intimidating. Think it would work, James?” inquired Danny.

James nodded. “Like a charm.”

I stuck my tongue out at James and glared at Danny. “Ha, ha. If you want to be funny, Danny, name it Colossal. That’s real irony.”

I really did need to have a serious conversation with the band, but Danny was bound to take this lightly no matter what. I sat down facing them all. Quietly I told them the plan for our date, and then waited for a response. To my surprise, everyone except for Cam seemed a bit irritated.

“Other than that, I just need to make something clear. I need you guys to help me out with this. You know I’m barely ever sober, and I don’t want to lose Rain. You guys have always had my back, but I really need you guys to keep your eyes on me when I’m drunk. Make sure I don’t cheat, or push her too far. You know?”

Cam nodded. “Whatever you need, mate. She seems a keeper.”

“I know,” I said, suddenly caught up in thoughts of Rain. “She’s different from all the other girls, but I can’t quite figure out how. She just understands me, you know? She actually cares without being caught up in my fame.”

Sam rolled his eyes, tapping his foot in irritation. I felt myself frown slightly.

James spoke up, seeming a bit angry. “If you need us to be watching you constantly and keeping your shit together for you, maybe you’re not mature enough to have a serious girlfriend. Right now you’re doing a horrible job of convincing me you can handle a girl’s heart in your hands. If you aren’t responsible enough to stop yourself from drinking over your limit and leaving with another girl, you sure as hell don’t deserve someone like her who looks at you like you’re the best thing that’s ever fucking happened to her.”

I stared at him, feeling anger boil up inside of me. “Why do you care so fucking much? I know I’m not a perfect person, but I want to be a perfect boyfriend to her, and I’m asking for your help to make us all happy. What’s so fucking wrong about that? You obviously don’t know how it feels to have a girl worth keeping, for you it’s always a one-night stand!”

James stood up angrily, giving me the finger as he left the room.

“What the hell’s wrong with him?” asked Cam.

“Jealous, I suspect,” said Sam, sounding a tad bit annoyed.

“Maybe,” I said, but I wasn’t too sure.