Drivers License [h.s]

part three

"W-what?" he stutters, standing frozen in place as I stare him down. I cross my arms instead of repeating myself, because i know he heard me

"I- well i didn't mean to..." he fidgets with the zipper on his coat, nervously jerking it up and down. My heart drops at the silence that follows his words

After everything he went through to tell me how he felt. After everything I went through to admit it myself, how does something like this happen? I can't believe he would

This has to be some sort of mistake

"You didn't do it" i state, hoping if i say the words out loud, i'll believe them

He shakes his head slowly, any trace of intoxication seeming to wither into the thick air around us "i'm sorry" he whispers, hands silently gripping the table behind him

There is no way this is happening

He's lying

I can feel Harry's gaze burning into me as i rub my hands over my forehead and pinch my eyes shut

He wouldn't do this. He wouldn't do this. He wouldn't do this.

I repeat the phrase over and over, hearing nothing but the voice in my head. Until eventually i hear the words slip off my tongue, almost silently

"Liv-"

"No" I say suddenly, the venom in my voice stunning him to silence "what else did you do?" i don't really want the answer. He looks at me for a few seconds, likely debating whether or not he should tell me the truth

"Im sorry" he whispers again

He doesn't need to elaborate. I almost ask him to, but it would only hurt me more. I always told myself i hid him from my mother because he is older than me, and she would be concerned about it. But deep down i know the real was because i was afraid she would point out what i already knew, he is no good for me

What he just admitted to me numbs me to the bone, unable to have any sort of reaction. No feeling is turning inside me like i expected it

I just feel non-existent, like I could step backwards off the edge of the world and fall into eternity. Like this conversation is just a figment of my imagination

But the look on his face and the nipping thoughts in the back of my head, remind me that it's all too real. I want to melt away into the atmosphere. I close my eyes hope that if i try hard enough, i would blow into the wind and leave my troubles to fester in the crooked little apartment

Unable to read what's going on in my head, Harry steps forward and grabs my arm. Whether his intention was to soothe my anger, or get an answer from me doesn't matter. Because as soon his fingertips met my skin, i was pulled from my thoughts and yanked my arm free from his grip

I'm tempted to slap him but that would require more skin to skin contact, and that's the last thing I want. Instead i back away until my heels hit the couch and im stuck

I can tell he's reeling with excuses, and I hope he comes up with something, anything to convince me he still cares. to put my mind at ease. To tell me it wasn't as big a deal as i assumed. But after a few minutes of his mouth opening and closing, he finally sighs heavily, eyes faltering to the scratched floorboards with nothing left to say

"That's it? You have nothing to say? You put all this on me and you have nothing to say?" i try not to raise my voice, he really isn't worth my sore throat... not this way at least

I didn't even realize the tears dripping down my chin until he says "please don't cry"

I use the sleeve of my jacket to wipe them away but it's completely pointless as they are quickly replaced by more. Face gets red and blotchy, and I can barely see in front of me. Everything is a blur

"Get out" i say suddenly

He stiffens, stepping back and retracting the hand he was offering me to take. I know I'm probably being too hard on him. A mature adult would sit down and have a conversation about it

But i'm way too tired to act like a mature adult

He looks like he wants to fight me, but decided against it. He turns back towards the door, black converse still on from when he first entered the apartment. I retrieves his keys from the dish and closes the front door behind him without another word

-

drivers license really fkd me up man. 

also; SKIN??? WE GONNA TALK ABOUT THAT???? the s h a d e. all this beef over walmart shawn mendes is truly hilarious. also we KNOW olivia, sabrina and Joshua are all chilling together in her living room watching the cash roll in 

(sorry its short. im going to post my chapters and then do a sweep through editing job cause i feel bad for just leaving it unfinished for a week)

*1/24/21*