Supernatural Imagines and Preferences

Before You Go, BYG part 1

 Dean x Reader

A/N This imagine was inspired by Before You Go by Lewis Capaldi and italics are the song lyrics

I fell by the wayside like everyone else

I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself

  You threw your suitcase and duffle bag onto the bed you shared with Dean. Quickly, you packed everything you owned into them, hoping to be done before Dean and Sam got  back from the hunt they went on. Dean hadn't even told you they were leaving, you were hurt and angry. You knew you wouldn't stay mad at him but you had reached your limit and just couldn't stay anymore.

Our  every moment, I start to replace

Cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say

Memories of you and Dean began playing in your head as you shoved your belongings into your bags.

*You were hunched over your laptop, busy doing research for a case that had you all stumped. Suddenly, two large, calloused hands began massaging your shoulders. You closed your eyes and tilted your head back slightly, letting Dean work out the tension in your shoulders.

*You had one hand resting out the open window of the impala, while the other was intertwined with Dean's. Both of you were singing along to Dean's classic rock music. Driving no where in particular, you were just enjoying each other's company.

When you hurt under the surface

Like troubled water running cold

Well, time can heal, but this won't

*The arm tightening around your waist woke you from your peaceful slumber. You turned to face Dean. His eyes were closed and his face was contorted in fear. You gently shake him to wake him from his nightmare. He bolts upright, breathing hard and fast. As soon as he sees you his breathing starts to return to normal. When he lies down you wrap your arms around each other. It isn't long before you both fall back asleep.

*You sit on the motel bed, watching as Sam stitched up Dean. Your brow furrowed every time Dean winced.  You hated seeing him in so much pain, especially when it was all your fault. You blamed yourself for Dean getting hurt. Dean didn't blame you though, he blamed himself.

Once everything was packed, you grabbed some paper and a pen. Writing down the words you knew you wouldn't be able to say to Dean's face.

So, before you go

Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?

If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather

Dear Dean,

 I'm so sorry to do this to you, but by the time you are reading this I will be long gone. I can't stay any longer. Lately you've been so distant and I know you're hurting, but every time I try to help, comfort, or find out what's wrong, you just shrug it off and say you're fine. But we both know that that's bull. 

So, before you go 

Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?

It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless

So, before you go

It breaks my heart to see the pain in your eyes. I wish I could say something to take it all away, because you, Dean Winchester, deserve the world. Even if you don't think you do. It kills me to see how much you beat yourself up when you're nursing a glass of whiskey after a hunt went sideways. It feels like I'm trying to save you from drowning. But instead of saving you, I feel like I'm being dragged down with you. I love you so much Dean, but I refuse to watch you hate yourself anymore. Goodbye Dean.

With love always,

Y/N

You grabbed your stuff and took one last look around the room before heading to the garage. Placing your bags in the back seat, you started your car, and pulled out of the garage.

Tears streaked down your cheeks as you watched the bunker fade away in your rearview mirror.

The End