Anxiety

I don't know why, I worry all the time. I feel happy, but at the same time, I don't feel as happy as everyone else. I spend all my time worrying instead of doing. Never relax. When I do, I worry about the future. The sad thing is, I know. It is so annoying that you can't help yourself. I've tried so many things. Try to do yoga, meditating, resting, taking a day off, nothing works. Believe me I've tried, literally nothing works.
Afraid to tell anyone because I don't know if they will believe me. Might think I'm crazy or just wanting attention, when really, I am breaking inside and not living my life right. Just for one day, I wish I could just relax. Only time I'm really relaxed is when it comes the summer. Even then, I worry or stress about the future.
I love playing piano and when I do, I actually relax. I would play all day, but I've got too many things to do. This is physically draining me out. When I try to do my homework, I sometimes fall sleep. Then at night, I get little to no sleep at all. Normally 5 to 6 hours. I'm confused and lost at the same time. I just don't know anymore. I feel trapped, like I'm permanently stuck in a box full of problems that I can't solve.
I have great friends that pulled me through. Also a wonderful family that is by my side. Not many people have that when they go through this and I am thankful I have them. They are the reasons I am not doing bad in life. Most of the days, I paint a smile of my depressed face. The only time I am happy, is when I have nothing to worry about. Which is a very rare time. Even then, I am still worried about something.
It is so hard to escape this world and I am not even an adult yet! I can only imagine what it is going to be like when I grow up. That is, until I live it. I am not the only one, but I feel like I'm the only one. When I am happy, everyone around me is sad. I just don't understand.
In this world, you have to fight so hard, and some of us have it worse. We all have curses weather they are from anxiety to having cancer to nothing. However, you have to look at the blessing that life has to offer you. Having kids, eating good food, sitting at home all cuddled up on the couch waiting for Santa to come around. I guess, everything does come with a price, unfortunately.

So even though we all have it bad sometimes, don't give up and keep on going. One day you will be thankful you kept the fort running and didn't let yourself down. It will all pay off in the end. Never give up and fight back.

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Hey there lovelies, didn't see Ya there.
Did Ya like it?
Did Ya cry and say, "Hey, I can totally relate!"
This came straight from my heart and I almost cried while writing it. See ya later, byyyeeeee.