Dana
"To what do I owe you the visit?"
"Dana."
"What?"
"I'm sorry."
"For?"
"Last night."
"For?"
He kept quiet and I just laughed.
"Philip, can you grow some balls in you please? You don't even know why are you bringing me flowers and asking forgiveness. If you don't want to go to me, if you don't want to give me flowers, if you don't want to say sorry, just don't please."
"Dana."
"The wedding is happening at the end of the year. Have you been notified?"
"Dana."
"You can't cancel? Why? Are you afraid that your parents might get mad and disown you?"
He sighed. I waited for him to say something but in the end, he remained mum about everything and just gave me a deep sigh.
"I really regret loving you, Philip."
I went out of my office and vent all my frustration on the rooftop. I take a deep breath. I really am dying to cancel the wedding but if I cancel, will I still be getting married? Mom's gonna be so down. She might end up being teased by the people around us. She will not be able to sleep peacefully. She's going to cry hard and she might lose her sanity.
But I can, right? I can cancel the wedding. What so if I grow old alone? What so if I couldn't get married? I need to cancel the wedding because if I got hurt, Mom's going to get hurt too. That I cannot forgive anymore.
So I went down to her office. And barge in.
"Dana."
"Mom."
"Can you all please get out?"
Everyone in the room left.
"You look red, where did you come from? What your problem?"
"Cancel my wedding. I don't want that to happen."
"Why???????"
I sighed.
"He wants someone else."
"What!?"
"I don't want to be the wife for a show. I want to be loved and cared for."
"Dana! I cannot understand."
"Philip, do not love me, Mom. He never and will never."
"Oh Dana,.."
"Mom, I don't want us to be the losing end. Mom, let's quit it. Let's not push through, please Mom."
I turned my back on mom because my tears are falling and I can't let her cry because of me. Yes, at times I need to be tough on her but I really love Mom.
I stayed in the lounge and calm myself, then, I went back to Mom. I was about to enter so I could discuss with her my plans of canceling the wedding when I hear her crying over the phone.
"But Papa, Dana might get hurt. Papa, Dana is my life. Whatever hurts her kills me, Papa. I don't want her lonely and sad Papa."
I sighed.
"She doesn't want the wedding to happen Papa. What should we do? I don't want her to grow old alone. It's gonna be sad and lonely but I don't want her hurting. Papa, what should we do for my precious Dana?"
I knocked on her door.
"Papa I will call you back. Dana's here."
"Mom, are you crying?"
"No. No."
I rolled my eyes. Even it's obvious she will deny it.
"Sorry, I lashed out."
"It's okay my dear, don't bother about that. We will cancel the wedding. Mom's gonna do whatever you want."
"Okay but don't be too hard on yourself. Tell everybody I cancel the wedding. Be proud that I was the one to cancel."
Mom just nods at me.
"Mom it's not the end of the world if we cancel this stupid idea. It's their loss, not ours."
Mom finally looks more okay. She looks more accepting.
"I will be out for the rest of the day. I'll see you in the evening."
I decided to go out and eat somewhere. I drove around and decided to eat somewhere far. And again for the nth time of my life, I saw Akim happily eating his burger.
"Gusto mo?"
"You've already bitten it."
"Arte neto, ayan di ko a yan nakakagatan ha. Tsaka ayan fries di ko pa nga nakukuhaan yan."
I smiled.
"I wonder when are you gonna be fired from work? You're so lax every day."
"Galing akong work no! Di porke't naka t-shirt lang ako, tambay ako."
"You wear pants, a t-shirt, and sneakers in your work?"
"Oo! diba pede yun?"
I shrugged.
"Di naman kaya lahat ng tabaho ay kagaya mong over dressed no?!"
I laughed. He's the only person who can bully me too.
I wonder if this guy could fall for me. Sabi nya, he wants a woman who will love him beyond his being. He looks good and neat. Nobody would think he isn't elite.
"Oo na, pogi na ako. Wag mo akong titigan di ako makakahanap ng chicks eh."
"Chicks?"
"Tsk. Ng mga babae na pwede girlfriend. Tingin ka kasi ng tingin sa akin eh."
I laughed. Thanks to this guy who always makes me laugh and shares his food too.
"If you've got a girlfriend, you need to introduce them to me."
"Bakit nanay ba kita?"
I just hit him with my hand.
"Aray! Ano ba yan. Sakit nun ha."
I laughed again.
"Wow sayang saya sya kahit masakit yung hampas nya."
I think I finally found a friend, a true friend.
