Hooked on the Brothers

1.

I faded in and out of consciousness for a few seconds before I fully regained my vision. I stood up with a groan and looked around for a second.

"Mario! Thank goodness you're okay!" Exclaimed Luigi.

"Yeah, but I'd be happier if I knew where we were."

It seemed as though we were in some sewer. And I know this about sewers, and other cave-like structures: if there's a ladder, it goes out. So, after Luigi and I found a ladder, we took it all the way up to the manhole. Luckily, it was on the side walk and not in the middle of some busy road. It was then Luigi saw a billboard that provided an essental clue to where we were.

"Mushroom Kingdom..." Luigi read, "... the safest kingdom voted 4 times in a row."

"Mushroom Kingdom, eh?" I questioned, "Well, at least we know where we are."

"Hey, you two dudes lost or something?" A voice behind us asked.

We quickly turned around to see a little person, who looked a lot like a mushroom. 

"Uh, yeah." Luigi said, "We're, uh, from outta town."

"Well, I'd like to give you a tour, but I'm on my way to the malt shop." Toad responeded.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, "Can we come with 'ya?"

"Eh, I don't see why not."

After us three sat down at the malt shop, we learned a bit more about our new fungus friend. Turns out, he was abandoning his post at with the Mushroom Royal Guar-

"Hold the meatballs!" Luigi interjected, "You're goin' AWOL?!"

"Hey, if you were me, you'd be doing the same thing." Toad explained, "Everyday, you're just standin' around, not doing anything. It's mondo boring!"

"Well, why don't you just quit and get a different job?" I suggested.

"Oh, no, I just got in, and you gotta service a minimum of 5 years before you get out!"

"Yeesh." I replied, "A bit much, don't you think?"

"Exactly! Thank you!"

It was then that we heard people screaming outside.

"...and that is why you don't go AWOL" Luigi said, not even turning around to look out the window behind him. 

And to be honest, I don't blame him.