A House on Mount Linux

Part 7: They Failed To Reincarnate

Part 7: They Failed To Reincarnate

Instead of an epilogue

Having already finished and handed in the text, I was kindly advised to write an epilogue to make the story longer.

(Editor, looking right through my soul with his wise brown eyes - which he has used to count three thousand words more than there actually are, and that's why he thinks that with a small extra, we'll get a whole novel:) - Now, write an epilogue.

(Me:) - ?.. Epilogue?

(Editor, not even blinking either of his wise brown eyes:) - Well, you know, where they die together in a fire saving their little nephew and the sister's husband - to be reborn as immortal cultivators... like a thousand three hundred fifty... two chapters total.

(Me:) - Er?..

(Editor, completely forgetting about my existence:) - Right. And at first, they do not remember each other, and they find new love and have children, all that shit. And they improve their cultivators...

(Me:) - Their cultivation.

(Editor:) - That too. But this whole time there's some inexplicable sadness in their souls. Then one's love dies tragically in a fire while saving her little nephew, and also he loses all his children.

(Me:) - Walking them in the Central Park.

(Editor, giving a suspicious look my way but unable to understand which piece of furniture has learned to speak human:) -Yeah, whatever. And then they get to meet each other at last, but still they don't remember anything... Next, they go somewhere in like a hundred chapters* and one's wife starts being jealous for no reason... hah! So far for no reason! They don't remember each other, you know?

Inspiration gets him like marasmus senilis.

"And then they figure out they don't want to part, and the next 200 chapters their mutual feelings keep growing and getting out of control, and the wife is jealous for some real reason already, and they start remembering - but the bad things are the first to come up so they go separate ways for... let's say, 50 chapters (this is when the jealous wife has a short breather), but the fact is they already can't go on like that so they throw themselves in each other's way for another 50 chapters until... this is how it goes, am I supposed to make it all up for your sake?"

"There also must be a wise old geezer on a Buddhist peak who's supposed to reveal the whole truth to them but would kick the bucket at the worst time possible. Which will string out the story for another 500 chapters. He will cheat on the wife anyway."

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* This Editor has a dream... which is to make me admit that a proper chapter should be no shorter than 7 pages 350 words each. He has my sympathies. For now, I stick to the minimum of three pages and still consider myself to be victimized. My record though is 4 words per chapter.

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Nevertheless. Who am I to second guess the editor's strategies? He's not even human. I watch him stand at the coffee machine trying to open up a coffee packet with insistent finger-poking, about which the packet doesn't give a fuck, so I see no point in opposing such heavenly person.

Ok. Going to write now.

Epilogue (Chapter 1 of 1352)

(Let's traditionally start from the middle and write about the fire later. Like it pops up in the clouded memory triggered by some... whatever...)