[4] UNREQUITED ENEMIES ━ Draco Malfoy

13. Lost

THIRTEEN LOST

Once the commotion was settled, Xander had a plan. He had no idea if Draco was here or not, but he knew if he was he had to find him. He doesn't tell anyone, he simply squeezes Diana's hand before letting go and slipping into the crowd. Hogwarts is in an utter frenzy, students milling about and murmuring with the chaos of what could happen next. This is utterly unprecedented and Xander's mind is reeling, but he's trying his best to maintain his sanity as he runs throughout the halls searching for the familiar head of blond hair.

"I love you, too," the last words Draco spoke to him engraved themselves in his mind. He knew that with Draco he was stuck between a rock and a hard place. The boy had done so much bad in the last year alone, but Xander had no idea if it was of his own doing or if he was being influenced by familial ties. He knew that if the boy was past the point of no return, there was nothing more his love could do. He refused to give up, though. He wouldn't give up on Draco, not until he knew for sure. He had to know.

Then, he sees it. A head of blond hair apparating into the school, grabbing two of his friends by the collar amidst the running and screaming students. Before Draco can see him, Xander hides behind a pillar. His mind flashes back to chasing after Draco last year, hiding behind pillars as he watched the boy sneak into the Room of Requirement countless times. He wished he'd never known what he was up to, he would probably be much better off if he had never let his curiosity get the best of him. There'd certainly be fewer feelings complicating his opinions of Draco, that's for sure.

There are explosions outside ringing in his ears and all sorts of yelling, but he's only focused on Draco. The boy does not flinch, Xander notices. It's almost haunting the way violence doesn't phase him. Xander jumps as there's another loud noise outside. He follows Draco to the Room of Requirement and something feels grossly familiar.

Outside the doors, Draco stops. "I know you're there, Xander."

Xander groans, knowing his sneaking around skills haven't gotten any better since last year. He pulls out his wand and comes out from behind the pillar, aiming it at Draco. It breaks his heart, but he knows in a time like this if he lets go of his guard it could be fatal. He doesn't think Draco has the heart to kill him, but that doesn't mean someone else won't.

He takes a deep breath, doing his best to keep his expression strong. He can't show fear, this much he knows. "Hello, Draco. Been a while."

Draco has a wand facing Xander, too, but it sits awkwardly in his hand like it doesn't want to be there. Wands are finicky like that. Draco's true wand burns a hole in his pocket. "Certainly it has. I'd like to think nothing's changed, but..."

"Everything changed the moment you stepped off this campus last June," Xander forces out. "You know this. I'd like to think you saving my life twice would mean you somehow had a change of heart, but here we are on opposing sides once more."

"You know I'm not a liar."

"Aren't you?" he plays, a small, humorless smile playing on the corners of his lips. He wishes Diana was here to alleviate some of his stress, but here he stands. One against three. The odds are not in his favor, they never will be. It's taken him some time to realize this, but as he meets Draco's eyes above their wands, he knows they will always be stacked against him. What he's done to deserve this, he doesn't know and he doesn't think he ever will. "Do you really love me? I'll admit, you give me mixed signals."

Draco hesitates and his hand on the wand readjusts. He sees the expressions in his friends change to confusion at Xander's words. Draco seethes, "I wanted nothing more than to keep you out of this. I tried to deter you, tried to push you away but you were a leech. I couldn't get rid of you."

Xander laughs at this. He can't help it. This situation is so beyond absurd. He shakes his head, letting himself cool down, "Has anyone ever told you what a romantic you are?"

Before the other boy can respond he fires a hex. He surprises even himself, finding his actions leaping bounds ahead of his mind, but it was the right thing to do. Blaise disarms him, but Xander just laughs and wills his wand back into his hand. If they knew him at all, they'd know how much he's practiced wandless magic over the years. Turns out he can do a lot more than light Diana's cigarettes.

"C'mon, Draco!" he shouts as the boy fires back. He dodges it with a smile, firing another one in the blond's direction. "Tell me how you really feel! You are a liar, but the worst part is, I don't even think you know it. You can say you love me all you want, save my life even though you're the one that put me in danger in the first place --"

"It's not my fault you're too nosy for your own good!"

"Oh, my mistake, sorry for being a little curious when the boy I had a crush on started becoming a death eater," he shoots back sarcastically, firing a spell along with it. He notices Blaise reach for his wand, but he stuns him without even thinking about it. "You can say you love me all you want, Draco, but you will always love power more."

Draco hesitates. It might just be a trick of the light, but he can almost see the boy's eyes welling with tears. Xander knows he's resisting the urge to cry, too, but he needs to appear strong. If he falters for even a moment, Draco will see right through him and he can't have that.

"That's not true," the boy stills. For a moment, it's just the two of them.

Xander holds out his hand, "Then come with me. Fight for us. For me."

For a moment, he thinks Draco actually might. However, that hope is short-lived.

"Stupefy!" Draco calls and Xander falls to the ground, unable to move. He shouldn't have let his guard down. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Draco and his friends run into the Room of Requirement.

As he lies there, he wonders if this means he's truly lost him.