[4] UNREQUITED ENEMIES ━ Draco Malfoy

18. Always

EIGHTEEN ALWAYS

As the year was getting closer and closer to the end, Xander found himself with a lingering sense of dread hanging over his head at all times of the day. He knew Alecks would write if his mother had died, but for some reason he was convincing himself that when he returned home, she wouldn't be there. He only had about a month to go, he could do this.

As the morning post came in, a letter dropped in front of him. He had written Alecks not too long ago, so he had already been awaiting her response. Still, his heart was beating in his chest as he saw his sister's messy scrawl on the outside of the envelope because he knew at any point this could be the news. His fingers traced the edge of the envelope as he tried to work up the courage to tear it open like everyone else who was happily receiving mail this morning.

"The longer you wait, the longer it's going to eat you," Diana spoke solemnly, her voice low as not to alert anyone else at their table. It felt strange to worry about such a private thing while in the most crowded room in the castle. Xander was suddenly incredibly aware of how vulnerable he was in this moment. He knew Diana was right, but still, he didn't move. When she saw this, she asked, "Do... do you want me to do it?"

This seemed to be the push he needed as Xander shook his head, tearing open the envelope without another thought. His heart felt heavy as he pulled out the piece of paper within, unfolding it with shaky hands. Scanning the paper, his heart stopped.

"Xander--" Diana began and he already knew she was going to ask what it said, but he couldn't bear to say the words out loud.

"I just... I need to be alone right now." He stood abruptly from the table, breakfast forgotten. He didn't care how many eyes were on him as he all but sprinted out of the great hall, all he knew was that he was suffocating and he couldn't handle being in a room with so many people when he felt like falling apart.

One month. One more month and he could've seen her again. He should have never gone back to Hogwarts in the first place. He shouldn't have listened to Alecks, his mother needed him and he left. His vision blurred as he cried while he walked, not knowing where he was going. He just knew he needed to get away. He prayed that Diana didn't follow him because as much as he loved the girl, he needed to grieve privately for just a moment. Just to let it sink in that Xander was never going to see his mother ever again. He didn't even know where to go, so eventually he just sat in the nook of a windowsill and let himself breathe.

Hearing a pair of footsteps approaching him, he called out, "I said I needed to be alone, Diana."

"I'm not Diana," a familiar voice cleared his throat and Xander rubbed his eyes to see Draco standing there with an awkward expression on his face as if he didn't know what to do in that moment. "I just saw you run and well, you always chase after me. Figured I could return the favor."