Your secret is safe with me 🤫

A special kind of trouble

As the day moves along I can't help but to think of her, she's become a regular visitor in my mind, without paying the toll fee, and just stays awhile, my mind has become a hotel for one, and in reality, she runs the hotel and I'm just the one paying for it.
Every time I look at her it's a dream, but it soon becomes a nightmare when we're no longer alone together, I try to avert my gaze from her when people are around, but it's so extremely hard, her eyes pull you in like a lifesaver after you've fallen off a large ship, the rope keeps pulling but you feel like you're not going anywhere at all, the boats all white and there's no markings to tell if you've moved, but all of a sudden you're right there, staring her in the eyes, feeling the sudden pull of an internal magnet all you want is to kiss her, but you can't.

After mom had picked me up, I stayed up for hours, I just can't seem to sleep anymore, around 3:30 I finally crashed, only to be awoken again at 4:30 to get up for work with mom, again. We head out to the office and man is it ever boring, it's always so boring when Faith isn't in here with me. But oh look who walks in, none other than the famous Brady, "back from fishing I see, you catch anything good?" Mom pipes up, "nope not a damn thing" he says, dropping both rods on the chair and flopping a different one. He sits for awhile, Faith is still passed out, good, she needs the sleep anyways, I hope he doesn't wake her up to get home. But he sits, it must have been about two or three hours by the time she was up and on her way. She steps in the door and looks like she's just rolled out of bed, yet she still looks beautiful. "Faithy!" Yells mom, we're both always so excited to see her again, definitely for different reasons though, she leans against the desk, but looks visibly angry or just grumpy to be awake, and within moments they're both out the door and gone, that was too quick for me ugh. Soon enough calls start coming in and mom has to take off to pick someone up, "hey mom, could I run and grab my Pepsi while you're gone?" I question, just hoping it's a yes, you can hear an audible sigh come out, but then, "yes fine, but drive carefully and don't do anything dumb" she says slowly as I immediately start to get excited! Driving with my music loud is the best way to make me feel better, alone or with friends, and with everything dancing around my head like it is, I need a bit of a breather. She pulls out of the yard in the van as I get my pup into the car to go with me, as I hop in the front I quickly get it turned on to warm up a bit, "It's so fucking cold why do I even bother living here" I scream uncontrollably while rubbing my hands on the wheel to warm up a bit. Once I've stopped shivering I get my music on, oh hell yeah, the bass hits hard and it's time to go, I back up nice and slow and go to leave the lot, hitting the gas hard and sliding out of there with a slick drift, "WHOOHOO" I let out a loud yell as we get going, man I wish Faith had seen that one!
I head down the road, and slow down a bit realizing I hadn't turned my lights on yet, whoops there we go again, but off to Walmart we go!

I get there nice and fast, park quick and run out and into the store, "Pepsi Pepsi Pepsi where's the Pepsi" I mumble through my mask quietly to myself walking through the store, I find the isle and grab a case quick and head for the tills, I avoid the back of the store like it's a graveyard, sexual assault memories never leave, but I sure will. I pay as fast as I can and start speed walking back to the car, jumping in and turning it on before it even has a chance to think about getting all cold again! I rip out of the parking lot like a racer at track and head back down the road where I came from, driving fast but slow, trying to take my time to enjoy it, but soon enough we're back at the office, damn. I feel it's not enough music time though, so puppy Indie and I head back out to have a smoke in there, I blast the music as loud as she'll let me, and just scream the lyrics hoping everything will disappear. Within just a few seconds there's a van beside me! Shit I hope it's not mom anddd, it's Faith and Brady! Whew, close call, I roll the window down as fast as the little guy will go to hear Faith say "the musics too loud, you're going to blow the speakers" as she mimics my moms reaction, which is true, mom says it almost every time I play my music in the car. I laugh loudly, Brady pops up "your moms carton of smokes is on the desk in there", I come back with a quick "sweet thanks Brady!" And just watch Faith smile, "we're going home to watch Austin powers" she says, seeming to be excited about it, "ooh that's good, I hope you guys enjoy it!" I finish the conversation off as they pull away slowly, I roll my window back up and spin the volume dial back up to 24 to ignore every single thought that comes into my head.