The lost one

Chapter 3

Draco's pov

I enter Slughorn's class with anxiety. I've been thinking about it a lot, and I have to stay the hell away from Victoria. Every part of my body tells me otherwise but I just can't let her and I become friends. I keep replaying the scene where she panics in her sleep and it reminds me so much of myself. The last thing she wants is a Death Eater -soon murderer- for a friend. And there's my dad's words, that I certainly can't forget.

Flashback

I walk in the kitchen, my bag on my shoulder, ready to leave for Hogwarts. I can't wait to leave my parents. I'll never forgive them for what they forced me to do- and for what they'll force me to do at the end of the year. They don't- they don't fucking love me! They use me, like a pawn and don't talk to me, don't congratulate me. I've tried to make my dad proud for all my life, but I disgust him, like something stuck under his shoes. I see them turn to me when I come in.

"Bye. Don't worry, I'll do the task." I say, quickly, before leaving.

"Wait, Draco, please-"

"Shut the fuck up! " , I shout at my mother.

I really don't have time for her apologies, her regrets. She was dead to me the moment she looked down the floor when I begged her to not let HIM do this to me. I never wanted that fucking mark, and I'll never want it.

"Draco, I love you so much..." , she says, crying.

"Don't lie to me, Narcissa. You love nobody but The Dark Lord. You chose him over me, over and over again." , I snap.

My father's hand slaps my face and the moment the pain hits, I drop my bag to the floor. My mother tries to stop him, but he's stronger than her.

"That's how it should be. You should choose him over anyone. But I know you won't, so I'll do it for you. If I learn that you're becoming friends with people who are not on the good side, Draco... I'll kill them. So all you'll have left is going to be us... and The Dark Lord."

"Lucius, he can have friends..." , tries my mother.

"He already has enough, I don't want him even more distracted." , he spits.

Rage makes my blood boil and I'm asking myself, at that exact moment, why I don't kill him right now. He's nothing to me but a coward and a murderer. But then I remember that I'll become one too, but at least I don't WANT to kill Dumbledore. If I kill Lucius, I'll be exactly like him, not any better.

"That'll be all?" , I ask.

"Yes, you may go." , he replies, without any attention for me, already back in his work.

End of flashback

I sit next to Victoria -I don't have much choice- but I try to stay cold, distant. I want her to stay away from me.

"You slept okay?" , she asks me.

Why does she have to talk to me as soon as I sit? I force myself to answer her.

"Fine."

I feel her eyes on me, like she's waiting for me to continue, but I'm not planning on it. I feel so bad, but I keep reminding myself that it's for the best.

"Oh so you don't even want to talk to me, now? What the hell's wrong with you? Someone's nice to you and you just-you just back off?"

I want to scream, but I keep my face straight- or at least I try to. I know nobody talks to her in the common room. Half are afraid of her, half are mad. She feels like I'm the only one who doesn't have anything against her. And now I'm making her feel alone and lost, just like I am. Maybe she'll end up hating herself just like I do. Maybe she already does. My thoughts get interrupted by Blaise. What the fuck does he want?