In Another Life || Larry Stylinson AU

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 1.

⚠️HEY just wanted to remind you that this fic is written in current Louis' pov!

"It's been 5 years Louis, will you please let him go" Niall utters, I can hear the guilt in his words, he doesn't mean it in a mean way, he just wants to see me smile again. I understand why he wants me to let go, my health doesn't look so great. I'm laying on the bed, crying my feelings away. Resting down on Harry's side of the bed gives me both comfort and this hollow feeling in my heart that makes me miss his body laying besides mine even more.

"Yea, 'let him go', that's what everyone wants Niall" I struggle to let my words out through my sobs, "I swear I'm trying, he's haunting me Niall, he won't leave me alone. He doesn't want me to forget him, he won't let me forget him." Even though he's facing the other way, I can see a few tears fall down Niall's red cheeks. 

I hear the doorbell ring, such an annoying sound, I need to change it sometime soon. It's one of the things I've decided to procrastinate and not do since... you know... since Hazza left. Niall turns around and notices how tired I look, so he gets up to get the door. "No," I blurt out before he can leave the room, "I'm not that weak." I hate it when people pamper me, it just makes me feel more left out.

My fragile body gets off the bed and walks downstairs to get the door. You know one of those moments when you know your legs are moving, but it doesn't feel like you're the one controlling them? Well that's what I'm feeling right now. However, I still manage to get the door. Once I open it, two men hug me right away. Zayn and Liam. I immediately knew it was them, their hugs can be distinguished really easily. Liam's embrace feels like a teddy bear's hug, warm, soft, and so full of love. You'd never wanna let go. Zayn's hug makes me feel safe. I've never told him that, but he knows it. His hug feels like the whole world stops just so I can enjoy the moment for a longer period of time.

"Oh darling," Liam says as he backs away from the hug, "You look like you haven't slept for days!" Zayn sneakily hits Liam to let him know that he should be careful with his words, but he's not wrong. I haven't slept for 6 days, I haven't touched my phone for 12 days, and I haven't showered for 2 weeks. Disgusting, I know. I just can't bring myself to do anything. All I do is lay in bed all day, and watch FRIENDS. Harry loved that show, it made him giggle non stop. I only watch it because it reminds me of how excited he becomes when he remembers the exact words of a line, and quotes them loudly. Monica's "I KNOW!" was his favorite... was... I wonder what he's doing up there... He could be laughing at that episode where a turkey got stuck on Chandler's head. Well, at least he would be laughing. Oh to hear his laugh one last time... It was one of those laughs that make you feel butterflies in your stomach, the cute kind. His laugh makes you feel so safe and secure that you forget every worry you've ever had. One of my favorite sounds, wish I can listen to it whenever I want, because I'm starting to forget it, and that scares me... Forgetting. What if I forget how he sounds like? What if I forget What he looks like? What if I forget what he smells like? What if I can't remember how his soft, soothing skin feels like...?

"Louis...? Louis!" I get startled when Zayn calls my name, I guess I zoned out for a while. I've been doing that a lot since I lost him. "Yea, sorry. Come on in guys" I mumble as I notice the pity on their eyes. "We got you a little something!" Liam says with a wide smile. I'm happy he's able to smile, I haven't done that in a while. "It's so cool bro, all 3 of us-" Zayn looks around as if he's searching for someone, "Liam, Niall, and I. We were all brainstorming for ideas, and we kinda just came up with it." Seeing them get so excited and energetic makes me annoyed, I don't feel like having company, especially this day, it's supposed to be Harry's day...

"Where is Niall anyways, you can't open the gift without him." Liam asks. "Uhm upstairs in Har- my room..." I could see them both flinch when I almost said his name. I've been thinking about him all day that I just can't get him out of my mind. "Alright then what are we waiting for go get him Liam!" Zayn is talking so loudly, I just wanted to lay in bed peacefully without a single noise.

Liam walks upstairs quickly as if he just can't wait for me to open the present. I wonder what it is, they seem really proud of it. 

I can hear Niall sniff a bit and wipe a tear or two whilst coming downstairs... He was crying too. Seems like the other two are too emotionless to shed a tear, After all, it has been 5 years since their best friend died... "Hey guys, sorry I was just- yea I'm here now..." murmurs Niall. I'm sure we can all tell he's feeling down. "Soo... Let me get the gift from the car, I forgot to bring it earlier." As soon as Zayn leaves, it's just silence, loud silence. The room is filled with negative energy, but it has been like that for the past 5 years, what do you expect to happen when a total angel leaves you permanently... 

"Alright here we go Louis! Here's the surprise we all put together!" I love Zayn, but I do feel like kicking him out this second, he's so loud that it seems like he's yelling. I take the gift from his hand while wearing a weak smile on my face. I sit down on my favorite couch to open the present properly. All 3 of the boys are standing beside each other with huge smiles on their faces, eagerly waiting for me to open it. It's wrapped in blue and green wrapping, clever. Once I completely rip off the wrap, my jaw drops to the floor. I look at the boys and they're so nervous to see my reaction. I smile... Smile? I haven't genuinely smiled in so long... It was a sincere smile, even if my eyes are watering and I can feel a few tears run down my warm cheeks. You might be wondering what got me so emotional. Well, it's a blanket. Not any blanket though. I'm pretty sure they either knit it, or they got someone to do it for them, because this blanket... It's  made from Harry's shirts... I don't know where they got the shirts from, or how they even thought of that, but I love it. Each shirt is cut up into a square, and each square is knit together with another blanket under the shirts so the blanket actually warms me up.

"You guys... I- I love it," I choke on my words when I finally let the tears out, "I don't know how but it even smells like him," I say as I hug the blanket tightly, "Thank you, thanks a lot." It's been hard for me to express my feelings, but that's the best I could do. I take back what I said, they're definitely not emotionless, the boys are sobbing like hell right now, especially Zayn. I open my arms wide so we can group hug, my favorite type of hug, aside from Harry's embrace... They hugged me so tightly that I thought I was being crushed, but even then, I didn't break up the hug. I wish I could stay right here in their arms, forever in my safe place, my home.

[ 𝐇𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐮𝐲𝐬, 𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨 𝐦𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠! 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫, 𝐈 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐢𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐯𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐝 😁 𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐝𝐚𝐲!! ]