ANGUISH-JIKOOK

19-MAYBE?

It has been a long time. If I were to guess probably around 7 years since I left my life behind. Much has happened in that time.

I've learned english, became an assistant manger at a big company. Me and Mark dated for 4 years but called it off since we were never really in the right place.

Plus I am pretty sure he is still in love with Jinyoung, which was his old roomate, and I am hoping they end up together.

Me on the other hand I perfer to be alone. Many people look in my direction or try to get my attention, but really I am tired of everyone.

Some days I think very much about jeongguk. How he is doing. If he hates me. I want to go back, and see him. But I'm scared. Ever since leaving not one word has come from him. If he was even looking for me. He could be married or something. But not a day goes by where I don't regret not bidding a proper goodbye.

It took years of convinving but here I am on a plane back to korea. By myself. I asked if Mark wanted to come along, but he had gotten busy with work so sadly he couln't escort me.

Maybe this was something I needed to do by myself. It is going to be really hard. My entire body is so nervous that I could just throw up right now. But I want to keep it together.

The plane ride was a really long one and I really forgot how long these things take. My parents have both passed. I saw the news but never said or came down for their funeral. Everyone thinks I am still missing anyway.

The first thing that I wanted to do was go to my old house. It may be closed off but I just want to see it. If anyone has made it into a happier place.

The taxi driver picked me up and took me directly to my old house. I told him to go ahead and leave. Because well I am going to walk to that park. The one that I spent lots of my time at.

There was no one outisde of the house. Or outside at all. Mainly because it was raining like a maniac. Probably because i came back. Jimin started giggling.

I'm really funny sometimes. The house lights were on and I could see people moving around on the inside. Just the atmosphere of the house seemed more uplifting than it has ever, and that makes me happy.

So without wanting to look like a weirdo I started walking the short way to the park. mostly everything was the same. All the houses looked the same but I'm sure there are different people living there.

My hair was soaking wet because I didn't even bother to put my hood on. I have always liked this kind of rain. When I got there no one was around. So I just went and sat.

The same spot that I found jeongguk here that day. That day was always replaying in my mind. Especially when I think about him a lot.

There was a man walking over to the same spot I was sitting in. But he stoppped and just stared. He was still a bit too far from me so really I couldn't tell who this person was.

"Yes, can i help you" there was politness in my tone. Probablt because of all my years of service I've masterd. "J-Jimin"

As soon as those words left his mouth I knew who it was. His voice didn't change a bit. Looking at his body I could tell he had gotten bigger but really he seemed like the same young jeongguk I remebered.

There was a tear running down my cheek that I wasn't aware of. "Jeonggu-uk" at this point the tears were coming with no warning. Just like the rain did. The male stood there in shock before he removed his hood.

Jeongguk was just as handsome as I imagined he would be. His thick jaw and perfect doe eyes. His skin was shinning, and there where no scars.

Before I could even mutter out the next words he ran to me and pulled me into his embrace. His long arms wrapped around my small waist. The place they belonged. "Ive missed you" I said crying into his shoulder as he squeezed me tighter "I'm sorry ggu-" he pulled his body away from mine.