The Undeniable Realities

#1 - The Undeniable Reality (Part 1)

(Authors note: All names that are stated are only fiction and not related to real life.)

Bzzzzzz. Bzzzzz

The alarm rung and she jumped up from her sleep. "Damn, the dream sucked my energy again," she thought to herself. She headed straight to the bathroom and did her morning routine. Coming out, she plugged out the cord which was charging to her phone. Silently, she creeped across the room to not awake her parents, who didn't get sleep lately as they weren't snoring. She turned on her phone to check her daily social media notifications.

Whatsapp
163 messages from 4 conversations.

"Sigh. When will these people leave me alone," she wondered. As she assembles the ironing board to iron her uniform, she noticed that her boyfriend texted her.

"I love you babe, sleep dreams! ❤" it stated. She smiled naturally and replied:
"Good morning, I love you too! I'll talk to you when I get back okay? Have fun in school! ❤"

She always described him as a beautiful person. Not only because he was great looking, charming and cute, but because everything he does leaves an impact on her. Even if he were to abuse her, she would love him as she knew he was different from the rest. They don't meet often, but they still do. He lives in a different city, quite close to where she lives, but it takes a long drive and some few tolls to get there. Every time they meet, she would definitely have the urge of crying. No matter what.

(Authors note: *let's name him Joshua okay?)

He was like the stars and galaxies, heaven and hell to her. He could be as stubborn as a bull, but as gentle as a prince. She loved those two factors about him, even though he always think that he's the right one when they two argue. He says extra sweet things but not frequent and is in fact humorous. He likes to joke about moms and talk about action figures but at serious times he could be so sexy and manly despite his own age which is similar to hers. She always wondered whether she's dating a 5 year old kid or a 32 year old stable man. But again he was chocolate and vanilla, and she loved those two flavors.

She knew their relationship wasn't going well after what happened. And there's more to come. They had to hid from her parents (Joshua's parents agreed and even loved her as a family) and went through a lot together. There were times where he tried to end the relationship but it didn't happen. Even she gave up on the second try, but he came back, bringing forth the everlasting bittersweet memories they will create and were created.

 So again, what's so wrong about her? She has a perfect boyfriend, a simple independent life, what  more is she asking for?

Except that she gave her universe to that young man, and was afraid he will have no idea what to do with it again. He had her heart broken with so many words, but she managed to pull them up together, she didn't want to have the strings cut again. Her school was driving her insane, her parents were deranged, her dreams oozing every single energy out of her, and now this? She didn't wanted anymore pain. She had enough of what's life given to her. But since he was the one who pulled her out from the monochromatic world, she became a runner from reality who has bet on all her chips on a game she couldn't afford to lose. Who could she blame? Herself for thinking too much?

But he knew his mistakes and he had seen what he's done and truly he really wanted to cherish her back. He loved her and treated her as the most precious thing in the world. But how sad for them, because when one puts the most effort, usually the other one slack off and causing the first one to over work on everything. One day he'll get tired of loving her and if she doesn't make a difference, he'll ended up hurting himself. She knew this too well, because that was what happened. He became cold towards her and their moments of love became a food to his lust. He was the first to her everything, but now he was the worst to gain it. So she didn't wanted to become like him. She wanted to prove him that she could be as loving as well because that's who they loved at first. Not their cold sides but when both were extremely warm and loving. So why is she doubting herself? 

Maybe it's all Theo's fault. The guy who left her by the sake of memories but never her heart. He was those douche bags girl would fall for. So she did and so he did, too. But they were still in 6th grade, what would they know? Every time they meet, their chemistry rises up in the air. Friends see it though, they stated it and she would abruptly disagree while he agrees. He was sly and mischievous, she loves it when he finds the right way to tease her. Theo is really funny when he's all high of himself, too. He always could communicate with her through their eyes and stares, and although they don't say it, they knew they still had a thing for each other. One thing Theo had and Joshua didn't had was how Theo observes her. If she stays quiet while their friends are laughing, he'd be there to pat her head and show that he's there. They sit together everywhere unintentionally, and thus she claimed Theo as her soul mate. But they both know they don't and won't love one another, because it is quite impossible for them. (Authors note:*if i state the reason why it's impossible to date "Theo", people would know who this is, but since this is a fiction, please do not think too much and yes, I named him Theo) 

Then who's fault is it? Maybe it's her friends from Columbia, like Ramon, Sebastian, Daniel and so many more. They confessed to her, believe it or not. (Told you she knows her game) But she rejected them all as well. Why? The answer is, why not? Why must she waste her time on things like this? But Joshua was hella lucky to get his hands on her.

Or maybe it's Calium. The first boyfriend who never really loved her but he was an extremely nice guy. Maybe he made her think her doubts and she felt so tired of love afterwards.

But who are we kidding. She know it's never their fault. Its her own delusional conspiracies and theories. The real problem comes from the core and she know just where to solve it.

She does love Joshua, infact like any other couples they went out for dates, cuddled and kissed, and even have their first "hotdog in a perfect bun" together. She will never forget how gentle he was, how sweet he was and how naughty he was. She didn't regret it at all and infact she fell in love even more. The way he'd hold her and she'd feel like a dog who wants people to scratch its' back, the way his breath felt like the fire to keep her head warm, or how he looks at her and kisses her neck felt like fireworks. She could feel so much love, and deep down she craved for more, if it weren't her doubts, if time could just stop while they both lasted, she wouldn't had bothered about creating more and more fireworks together. He loved it as well, he loved every single part of her body, even her stick-like figure and would touch or kiss on every spot he could find that has a slight scar on her. He could hardly control himself when she touches him, more than less she was the only one who could handle the situation when things get out of hand. He was protective and loving, and loyal as well.

She knew that her love for him was different from others. She'd fangirl over some boys in her school and think they're cute but she'd never compare them to Joshua. Even when she compares Theo to him, Theo lost by how much Joshua loves her. It's wrong for her to compare, but she just had to find out what's wrong with all of this. What's wrong with her. And Joshua. How is she gonna deal with her senior Todd next? Who the hell is Todd?

(Authors note: I like how there's explanations and questions that leads to more questions. Find out more in next parts!)