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Dead or Alive? || IRL

Peter's POV-

     When I first regained consciousness, my entire world was spinning. It felt like I had just been sucked through a black hole and then pulled out again only to be thrown through space at top speeds back toward Earth. My stomach lurched in that strange way it does when you are riding on a roller coaster and you plummet down the big hill, but the joy one would typically feel while on the roller coaster was not present in me whatsoever. The only thing I could feel right now was pain-- red hot pain blistering through my abdomen so harsh that I wished I could just fall back into my comatose state.

     Based on the amount of pain I was in, I was dead.  There was no way I could have survived those injuries. There was no doubt in my mind that when I kissed MJ was the last time I had been alive. I mean, sure, finally admitting everything I had been feeling toward my crush and having those feelings reciprocated by her was not a bad way to go out, but it killed me to think about how devastated she must be. Or, I guess killed me again, seeing as I was already dead.

     I cursed myself, thinking about how stupid I had been at that bank robbery. Sometimes, being Spider-Man and all, it's hard to remember I'm not completely invincible. Despite how unrealistically high-tech my suit was, there were still some things that could penetrate through it and damage it. Take, for example, the bullet that was fired into my stomach by the hands of the one criminal at the scene. 

     I didn't remember in full detail what happened during the robbery in my pain-stricken haze, but I did remember having an extremely hard time battling off all of the robbers. Somehow, they still had a hold of some of the weapons Liz's dad had crafted back before I got him arrested, and man were they intense. They were firing deadly shots at me left and right, and I was struggling really hard to fend everything off. By the time I finished knocking down three of the four robbers, it was too late for me to notice that the fourth had pulled an actual gun on me. Before I even had a chance to shoot a web at the gun to stop him, he pulled the trigger with absolutely no remorse.

     I wouldn't say getting shot was on my bucket list, but it did lead to me confessing to MJ, so I guess you win some, you lose some. God knows I wouldn't have ever gained the courage to admit everything to her on my own without the extra little nudge that I was on my death bed. 

     But even if I had finally gotten around to letting MJ know I was deeply in love with her, I still felt utterly terrible at the fact that I had pulled her into all of this. I had been so selfish, in all honesty, showing up at her house as I bled out instead of heading straight to the hospital like any responsible person would have done. Even though everything that happened before my probable death was very foggy, I did remember one thing: the horrified look on MJ's face as she tried everything in her power to keep me alive. I caused her all of that stress and heartache because I was being greedy, and I would never forgive myself for that. And now that I'm most-likely dead, she probably blamed my death on herself, even though it was no one's fault but mine.

     If I had just gone to the hospital when I had the chance, maybe I would be kissing her right now. Maybe she wouldn't be tearing herself apart because I died in her arms.

     Tears stung in my eyes as I finally blinked them open, a mixture of sheer pain from my injury and heartbreak being the source of the tears. Everything was blurry as my eyes watered, but I could make out a bright light source in a relatively plain room. My ears rang as my vision began to tunnel, but I refused to pass out again.

     "So this is what heaven looks like," I murmured, my voice hoarse from lack of use. A cough racked through me, causing my entire body to convulse in pain. I winced, wondering for the first time why, if I was in heaven, I was still in so much pain.