Unspoken Words

Peace at my room

"How are you feeling?" My mother asked. One look at her and it was obvious that she was worried about me. She was not happy about me studying in another city, away from her. But I insisted. I knew l was being selfish in this matter. I didn't know what was more selfish decision, live with my mother and family with love and care or coming to this new city for my studies. My decision could be more anger based and less reasoning based. Or my adrenaline was in flight mode. To get away. I always dreamed of running away and this was most close to my dream. Being away.

Away from my father, my mother and most importantly my younger brother. It was the most hard decision to leave. Especially leaving my mom. Till now, I couldn't imagine my life without her. I love her too much. How will my brother cope with any situation without me? I know he was more mature then, but I was still his elder sister. In every phase of his life, me and my mother were there for him and vice versa. Obviously I wouldn't be able to tease him, play with him or share laughs. Tears started to bubble inside my eyes, threatening to come out. But I held myself. Mentally scolded myself, I didn't dare show her how much afraid I was. Or my hard earned support that I got from my mom would be over.

The sun was setting and I had already got a room in the girl's hostel. Warden of the hostel was not allowing my mom to enter just for the purpose of organizing my things in the room. So, I had to drag all those bags into my room all by myself and shoved them in a corner.

"Drink something before you collapse". She ordered. And I followed it to the point and avoided a collapse.

"I am alright, mom".

She snapped. "No, you are not".

Father had gone to complete the remaining formalities, to make sure there would not be single thing to worry.

"It's third floor, all the way to the top". Mother mumbled in worry.

"Top one is the fourth one". I stated the fact.

She didn't say anything to that. " Make sure you get another room in lower floors. You very well know, you won't be able to cope up everything alone here. We are not here for you. But, do tell us if anything important happens. And no boyfriend. Or every punishment for your fault will be in your head".

She kept rambling about manners, rules, regulations, how a good girl should live. I pretty much zoned out through all of that except one thing. She didn't trust me! A bitter thought crossed my mind. And my mood went down the hill. But I kept listening to her instructions.

After doing almost everything to please her in all these years since my childhood, she couldn't trust me. She raised me so well and she was the one to doubt. Why? I couldn't ask. I was afraid. Life was so hard sometimes.

Oh. Here came my father. An inch shorter than me. Holding himself with little too much respect, considering he was a senior doctor. Long rectangular slight wheatish coloured face. Wearing a blue buttoned down shirt, tucked inside his black coloured pant.

"Take these papers and keep it safe". He handed it to me and turned his attention to my mother. "Everything settled?"

I automatically answered. "Yes".

He gave me one look. "Shut up". Turning back to mother. "I am asking you".

"Everything is done. We can leave now".

Now, he turned to me with big smile plastered on his face. "My baby will do good. Right? Gate keeper of this college is very nice. If you need anything, you can ask for his help".

I had the same smile on my face. "Yup Papa! No problem Papa!"

"Don't be late". My mother hissed at him. As she knew I needed to rest and standing for too long is very tiring for me.